Fathers attention span

@mnflower (1304)
United States
April 17, 2008 12:59pm CST
Ok my stepson and his girl and 4 month old daughter live with us. My son works with my husband at the same company so they share rides and work the same area most the time..Now this is my problem..My husband makes sure he kisses me when he walks in and then automatically stops by and kisses and says hello to his granddaughter, my son automatically stops at the computer and doesn't say anything to his daughter, and if he does he does it from over the computer screen, this is not right and I told him yesterday that no more computer until he takes a couple minutes to say hello to his daughter and his girlfriend and that the internet is not going anywhere and if looks could kill I would of been dead...Am I wrong by insisting that he takes the time to say hello to his daughter when he walks in the door from work?
2 responses
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
17 Apr 08
No you aren't wrong in thinking this way. The thing is some men just are that way...I'd like to say it's an age thing (since I'm assuming your son is younger) but even my s/o is the same way and he's closer to the "mature father" age. Yesterday he did the opposite and that bothered me even more...he was getting ready to leave for work and walked right by me and out the door. I just stood there thinking he must be coming back in to say bye to us but nope, he got in his truck and left without a word. When he wakes up in the morning he heads straight for the computer and when he gets home from work he heads straight for it. Sometimes I think that as long as the computer was on when he got here he probably wouldn't even notice if I was gone. Good Luck getting your son to understand. By the way what does his girlfriend think of this?
1 person likes this
@mnflower (1304)
• United States
17 Apr 08
both of them are very young and she really doesn't say anything she is one that says seeing I had the baby all day then it is daddy's turn all night and it just doesn't work that way and I am afraid that is why he is chosing the computer before he spends time with the baby..I told her that she is the mother and not working every day so she can't expect the father to be there at evening for he is busy doing things outside like men do and that is just how it is..He does spend time with her, and he does have the baby the two nights she does work which is like 3-5 hours at a time and we are here with him and he does wonderful with her.they are only 19 and 17 so it is very difficult but I have lately put my foot down and no computer until he acknowledges that his daughter is there.Seems to be working.
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
21 Apr 08
Ah...I see. It does sound like he's at that stage of being overwhelmed with the responsibility and using the computer as his escape. It's good that you are there for them though, I'm sure that helps a lot. Beyond limiting his computer time, the two of them really need to work out a better schedule. You're right, it isn't fair at all for it to be 'Daddy's turn' all night long. I'm sure she feels overwhelmed and thinks she needs the break...but parenting just doesn't work that way. Maybe as part of their 'schedule' they can each work in one hobby or group to join for a few hours a week...maybe a mom group for her and a dad group for him, then they'd each have some down time and a parent oriented group would teach them some extra skills.
• United States
17 Apr 08
no i do not think that is so wrong. he should be spending more time with his daughter than on the computer. if he keeps this up his daughter might not want that much to do with him in the next few years
1 person likes this
@mnflower (1304)
• United States
17 Apr 08
Trinity loves her daddy and he really does need to spend more time with her and we constantly am pounding that into his head but with him only being 19 and a car freak it is difficult but he is working on it.