What would you do if you have such a rotten family?

@junko704 (134)
Philippines
April 18, 2008 7:58am CST
There are some things in life that we have no power over. One of such is if we could have the power to chose our relatives. I have such an annoying relatives, some living with us and some not with us but frequently visits. As mean as it may sound but these people are such leeches.. an annoying thing about Filipino customs. I like it better in the U.S where people mind there own lives and own families. It's not your fault if you're well off and your other relatives aren't. But here, people make you feel guilty if your relatives are suffering and your living in comfort. It's really annoying me. Pls comment on this.. Do you feel the same? Do you getmy point? Am I just being mean?
4 responses
• China
18 Apr 08
hello junko704! As you've put it, it's not your fault to be well off, so don't make yourself feel bad when others do wrong. Don't take what they said seriously. When you're really angry at their acts or words, you can gently fight back.
@junko704 (134)
• Philippines
18 Apr 08
hi, well i can't help me. my relatives make me feel like im such a bad person for questioning my mom for always helping out but its just because if she keep on helping them they wouldnt be working at all. they are all depending the money my mom's gonna give them and use their kids to make my mom feel pity over them. it's really b*llcr*p!! i hate it.. but worst part of all is that as much as my mom keeps on whining about i.. she never stops in giving them money. i hate it
• China
18 Apr 08
Oh, I feel sorry for that! That's really hard for you and your mother.To be kind will encourage their endless demands. To be unkind may bring your family bad reputation as they would probably spread the rumors. According to my experience, people who live on economic support from others often take it for granted and won't be appreciated about that. And while you stop doing so, they will hate you. Since there must be one day, sooner or later, you would decide not to give them any support and you'll get their repay, why not advance that? But there might be some easy ways. How about finding some job for them, then you won't have to take care of them. The other advice is that tell your mother not to give them money willingly no matter how pity they put about themselves unless they asked so. I think every people would be ashamed of asking money. Several times later, they may stop doing so. Hope you'll get out of your dilemma soon! Best wishes!
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
18 Apr 08
Well, i would have to agree with you on that. I'm chinese but lives in the Philippines, basically a filipino citizen. I would always hear my mom say that its such a bad thing about the filipino's that their relatives tend to always rely of a relative who is doing well, mostly in the city. You will see them all coming from the province to live with this relative... for a while, and then months would go by they still have no work, but does nothing about it and seems to enjoy their vacation... he he they act as if they are the owners of the home... Its really crappy! Im happy we did not have relatives like that.. i guess my mom wouldn't let them stay anyway. she insisted that my brother move out of the house when he got married.... Sometimes its not too good when you are always that accomodating... people who rely much on you, becomes too lazy.
@junko704 (134)
• Philippines
18 Apr 08
OMG! That is so true! It's really a filipino custom i am truly annoyed.geez!!!
@raj0019 (2629)
• Argentina
9 May 08
Hi, This is something i have heard from my gf too (She is a filipina too). It is something that is really annoying for a person who likes privacy and love to be with their parents or siblings only. Talking about relatives and guests, well they are always annoying for me too :) Its fine until they are only a visitors, not someone who tries to behave as a owner of the house.
• United States
18 Apr 08
I don't know that this is really all that uncommon in the U.S. either. I think it just depends on where you are at. I try to mind my own family, but that hasn't stopped other relatives from acting entitled if you kwim.