do you judge the book by its cover?
By jairgirl
@jairgirl (2877)
United States
April 18, 2008 9:23am CST
i am not talking literal here (but if you want you can 
)
anyway, i often see how most of us practice such thing, dont get me wrong it's just that we always have this first impression as well.
i remember growing up and most people will see me differently coz i dont act like most kids do.
funny coz they always think we are rich and they will always be surprise when i bring them home and tell me "you live here?" they dont realized that even a poor kid have a "breed" of rich blood 
as a kid i dont understand it and see the differences be it poor or rich.
then i reach college and till now,
i have a lot of guy friends when i was in college and my reason is
"i have enough emotions to deal on my own and i dont want to add with girl's pickled minded and roller coaster emotion and the fussiness of clothing and or looks they portray" (see i judge them too BUT i decide to swing to such decision after getting to know most girls around me)
i was judge by most girls even family members that i shouldnt mingle with guys coz i am a girl, they see me as a flirt, play girl and other nasty words that tags me without even knowing me.
it hurts coz they dont know what kind of person i am as well as the kind of friends i have.
one of my best friend before we become best friend HATES me so much that she almost start a fight with me coz she thinks i want all the guys for me.
haha, now i have to tease her about that and she says SHE DONT KNOW me then.
my point exactly, why cant we know someone first before we judge them?
i know it is not easy coz often we just meet someone or see them for that day only or we dont have enough chance to get to know the person.
true and i agree but such mentality (judging) starts racism, and other negative feelings/behavior that comes after such thought.
i feel if we cant say good to someone we dont really know, then we just shut up or we get to know the person first at least in that way we can see if our judgment is real or not.
how about you?
do you feel the same way i do?
have you been judge just because you dont belong to the "norms"
would love to hear your story.
takecare!
)
anyway, i often see how most of us practice such thing, dont get me wrong it's just that we always have this first impression as well.
i remember growing up and most people will see me differently coz i dont act like most kids do.
funny coz they always think we are rich and they will always be surprise when i bring them home and tell me "you live here?" they dont realized that even a poor kid have a "breed" of rich blood
as a kid i dont understand it and see the differences be it poor or rich.
then i reach college and till now,
i have a lot of guy friends when i was in college and my reason is
"i have enough emotions to deal on my own and i dont want to add with girl's pickled minded and roller coaster emotion and the fussiness of clothing and or looks they portray" (see i judge them too BUT i decide to swing to such decision after getting to know most girls around me)
i was judge by most girls even family members that i shouldnt mingle with guys coz i am a girl, they see me as a flirt, play girl and other nasty words that tags me without even knowing me.
it hurts coz they dont know what kind of person i am as well as the kind of friends i have.
one of my best friend before we become best friend HATES me so much that she almost start a fight with me coz she thinks i want all the guys for me.
haha, now i have to tease her about that and she says SHE DONT KNOW me then.
my point exactly, why cant we know someone first before we judge them?
i know it is not easy coz often we just meet someone or see them for that day only or we dont have enough chance to get to know the person.
true and i agree but such mentality (judging) starts racism, and other negative feelings/behavior that comes after such thought.
i feel if we cant say good to someone we dont really know, then we just shut up or we get to know the person first at least in that way we can see if our judgment is real or not.
how about you?
do you feel the same way i do?
have you been judge just because you dont belong to the "norms"
would love to hear your story.
takecare!5 responses
@rombi001 (941)
•
18 Apr 08
I do usually judge people by the way they look... I'm not saying that I don't like good looking people, but I think their actions and appearance tells you a lot about their character. After meeting them, most of the time I feel like I was right...
@jairgirl (2877)
• United States
18 Apr 08
hello,
i cant blame you for having such opinion as i see it common now a days. just that sometimes some people will get nasty about someone just because of how they look (clothing, tattoo, piercing, music they listen, etc) without realizing that it is just the generation now and has nothing to do with their personality.
dont get me wrong, i just heard it a lot even in the news and often that leads for that person to have a low self esteem and project the personality others judge him to be because no matter what he did he will still be judge the same way.
my apology if i offend you in some ways, i am just talking about how i behave before and how i have others say the same thing.
we often have this picture in our heads of what someone should look like and be like and if it doesnt fall to that appearance then they are not accepted. we often mold someone into something we want them to be and not really the way they want it and i feel problems arises in this way.
i dont know, my experience and someone else's cannot justify why you and others will say different views, like i will say it different than yours.
anyhow, whatever it may be, as long as it is working for you and it helps you to protect yourself and you are not hurting someone "intentionally" then you just keep it the way you want it to be.
it is you anyway.
takecare and thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts!
@jairgirl (2877)
• United States
19 Apr 08
hello,
dont worry you are not offending me at all, like you i enjoy a good discussion i learn better when someone shared me a thought different than mine.
anyway, i understand what you mean by appearance. i do the same 
if a guy have long dirty finger nails and dirty teeth, then i feel that man is not clean and maybe messy coz he cant even take care of him self, 
so far that is true in my case (yay!!!)
anyway, thanks again for the respond.
takecare!
if a guy have long dirty finger nails and dirty teeth, then i feel that man is not clean and maybe messy coz he cant even take care of him self, so far that is true in my case (yay!!!)
anyway, thanks again for the respond.
takecare!@rombi001 (941)
•
19 Apr 08
I know what you mean.. i was referring more to the way they dress, or theway they smell or the way they respond to certain things you say... That is stil part of our appearance that I believe it does reflect our character... (I don't mean to insult you or your beliefs in any way) I enjoy a good discussion!! :)
@youless (112112)
• Guangzhou, China
18 Apr 08
Yes, the book cover is so important. If it's attractive, usually I will be interested in it and then buy it. A cover can briefly tell you the content from the book. And what kind of this book. That's important factors to make you purchase it.
@jairgirl (2877)
• United States
18 Apr 08
hello youless,
let me get this straight, you are only referring to buying a "real" book right?
if it's the case then, in some ways it is true, but you have to understand some writers or photographers depicts their purpose beyond what you can see in the cover.
some makes it to deep that you cannot see it by your eyes and can only understand it once you read the book.
BUT, sure there is nothing wrong buying what entice your eyes, that's the reason why we have such sense of sight to help us find something that will attracts us.
anyway, glad to know you like to buy a book, i prefer it over reading on the net.
takecare!
@jairgirl (2877)
• United States
18 Apr 08
hello shamrack,
nice to hear from you!
dont worry we all fall in the same mistake as long as you are aware of it and willing to change it, then i feel there is nothing wrong if you feel this way.
just dont push others to believe and act like the way you want them to coz it is not how life goes.
we all have our OWN different features and one cannot fit in to one's idea or imagination - we are individuals.
thanks for sharing your thoughts.
appreciate it!
takecare!
@junko704 (134)
• Philippines
18 Apr 08
well. you can't please everyone.
sometimes you even hate a person without knowing the person. just howhe/she walks and talks..
immature? well maybe but that's just how somepeople are and we live in mean world where people get you at your back and sometimes straight on..
@jairgirl (2877)
• United States
18 Apr 08
hello junko,
true, we cannot and will NEVER be able to please everyone, not even those who knows us the most BUT like you said that is just how our world is, i dont think it is considered immature (but i respect your usage of term) to me it is more IGNORANCE in our part.
we still havent reach the point of truly accepting one another so i guess that is why it is like that.
like you i am guilty of bewaring myself about others if i dont feel right about them.
my instinct always (99%) ok most of the time, provide me the judgment i needed to see if such person is good or not, i dont know how that works but i have used that as my guidance and so far i have not yet made a mistake.
there are a lot of people who lives a life in a world that you mention, sad but true but i wish it is not like that, maybe we can have a better place to live in but just a wishful thinking by me for now.
thanks for sharing your views, appreciate it.
takecare!
@jer31558 (3683)
• United States
18 Apr 08
I do have a tendency to judge the proverbial book by the cover even though I try not to. I also have been judged by how I dress and act. First few minutes around me and Redneck will definitely enter your mind, but thats ok. I would rather be more than people expects than less.
@jairgirl (2877)
• United States
18 Apr 08
hello,
i am happy that despite what others tell and think about you you still do what you feel is right for your self, it is your own right and sole responsibility.
it is always hard to live in such world coz some will react differently and often they become what others dictates them to be.
not all have the same respect as you do for yourself, coz i was like that before., i tried so hard to prove them wrong and realized that i was just fooling myself so i became what they think i am though i am really not like that just so i can PLEASE them.
then one day i woke up and told to myself, screw them coz it is my life and i am tired of doing what they want and i just want to live my life the way i want them to be.
NOW, i am the worst person in the eye of most of my family but hey i am happy and i have never been happy like this before.
i already stop worrying what they think and what they might say coz it will not help me anyway.
we only live once and i want to live it to the fullest the best way i know how.
thanks for sharing yours and keep up the positive outlook in life, people will always expects and there is no way we can please them all.
takecare!
