How long before proposal

United States
April 19, 2008 11:11pm CST
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. My brother who is two years older recently became engaged and has only been with his girlfriend for just over a year and a half. My girlfriend is jealous because they have not been together as long as we have. I told her that they are older and that I am not established in my career enough to propose. Should I wait until I am in a better position to propose or should I propose now and then just not have the wedding until later?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@goergineo (1498)
• Jordan
20 Apr 08
you can propose now becoming engaged and get married later on. I mean it will end up with marriage sooner or later. for me it took me 2 years to propose. I think that was enough to know each other and get along.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Apr 08
you should propose to her when you are ready. it is important that you are financaially stable, have a good job, and could afford a house, wedding expenses, etc. you dont wanna rush a good thing cuz it may not turn out the way you planned. i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and he has not proposed. we are still young (20 and 21) and not financially ready yet. i would love to marry him now, but there is no need to rush things.
• United States
21 Apr 08
Thats what I thought also. Thanks for the input.
@rmuxagirl (7568)
• United States
21 Apr 08
I think you are smart for wanting to wait until you are a little more established. That shows you want to be able to take of her and be what she would need from a husband instead of rushing into somehting.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (13336)
• Philippines
21 Apr 08
Readiness is a very important factor to consider when proposing for marriage. I think you two should both assess that one not only you. Being emotionally ready is easy to achieve like in the case of your brother who has proposed to her GF but the question is are they really ready? That can only be answered by your brother. It really doesn't matter how long or short your relationship is. It is how you feel your relationship will work after deciding to settle down is what is important.
1 person likes this
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
20 Apr 08
If you are stable enough to have your own family i guess there's nothing wrong about time if when. It's within you terpcrazy. One thing if you love the girl then go on but don't force yourself if you have a doubt. But i guess its really depend how you to work it out after marriage. Like my brother had doubt before he got married to his wife but there marriad life is good and happy.
@athinapie (1152)
• Philippines
23 Apr 08
i think that you should explain to your girlfriend that it is all about timing and an engagement would be useless if one of you is not yet ready for it. i'm sure she would understand when she hears your explanation.
• Delhi, India
3 Feb 14
but normally girls doesn't understand n there is always a misunderstand .
@taylor96 (46)
• United States
20 Apr 08
What are you waiting for stop being a pansy. Propose now and set a date with her to get married. Don't do a long engagement ,like another three years. you might lose her. Life is to short throw caution to the wind and go for it. Obviously you love her so just do it. Sorry about calling you a pansy that's just my blunt nature showing its ugly head. Take care! Taylor
• United States
22 Sep 09
i agree with you Taylor...i think too often we take those we love for granted...not that its a test of your true love if she is unable to wait...but remember if you truly love her, do it the right way...if you truly see no one else filling those shoes, then go for it...trust me, she loves you for you not your money...chances are if you lost her because you chose to become more financially stable, the next person you meet may not truly love you for you but for what you can offer financially...think about it now!
@Shavkat (56925)
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
In every relationship, realizing it is time to spiel the proposal for formal commitment. The people involve need to put in a special way. I think, love really moves the mind of deeply in love to someone. They need to put in a special moment.
@kgoel123 (15)
• India
23 Apr 08
if you love her, dont wait for any good time to come, but for engagement and marriageyou can wait for 6 months atleast, then go ahead
@cheenlly (3483)
• Philippines
23 Apr 08
I think there is no definite time for proposal in my own opinion. I understand that the thing that holds you back to propose to your girlfriend is because you are not established yet in your career but you know women when entering into relationship is very serious. We like to feel secure in the relationship so maybe as i think your girlfriend feel insecure and doubt that you are true to her or not which i think is natural to feel as a human, that's my opinion but of course i might be wrong but as a woman also i may think like that and that kind of feeling hurts that the relationship has no assurance at all. You see you've been in the relationship for 3 years already and maybe your girlfriend is waiting to long for your proposal. Anyways each person thinks differently so in your case i think you know the answer. In my experience my fiance proposed to me just last month and we've just known each other for about 8 months only. When we meet in person and when we feel our feelings is genuine then he proposed at me- that means he is true and there's a plan already to settle down but it doesn't mean immediately- of course everything has definite time for the wedding.We should be prepared not just physically but financially. For me proposing is what you think and feel for the future which you just put into words. You know how happy i am when he proposed at me- very much happy. It erases all the worries and it made me feel secure of his love to me. You can propose to her and plan the wedding afterwards that's only if you truly love her - i mean if you feel that she is the one for you that you will spend with the rest of your life. If yes then you can propose and you will see how happy she will be. Goodluck and cheers!
• India
23 Apr 08
hi frnd by my idea u just proposed her nd tell her that u r not stilll mature nd neeed some time, until u still dnt on selfff,once u become self ten we just marry just telll her that ok if she really loves u then definatellyyy she undear stand u r problem