What's Not So Great About Being A Mom????

United States
April 20, 2008 9:43am CST
I love my kids. I have a 6 year old daughter and a 2.5 year old son. There is nothing on this earth that I wouldn't do for them. I wouldn't trade them for anything, I never wanted kids but that all changed once I got pregnant with my oldest. I embraced motherhood and it is the greatest joy in my life. With that all being said, I have talked to many people who just seem like being a mom is the greatest thing in the world and the way they talk about it, they live in a perfect kid world. I guess it helps when they are stay at home moms that don't worry too much about anything other than their kids which is absolutely fine. I'm not knocking it but they make me think. Having 2 kids is not rainbows and happiness everyday. They are hard, especially when you go to school and work. They are demanding and have more energy in one little finger than I do in my whole body. There are days when I feel like I just want to throw my hands up because I'm at my wit's end. But in the end, everything is worth it. At night I watch my kids sleep, so peaceful and beautiful, my heart just fills up and I realize that I could never and would never give up. It's not in me. I guess I just had to vent about the not so great, tiring side of kids instead of all the joy they do bring me. To turn this into a discussion: What are some of the not so great things about being a mom? Have any of you felt like this? How do you deal with things pertaining to your kids when it just gets to be too much? Please keep this friendly, this is not about not wanting kids or anything like that-just about the hardships that mothers today face. Thanks for reading!
5 people like this
16 responses
• United States
20 Apr 08
I have a 7 month old daughter the most hardest thing for me is the sleep deprivation. Also sometimes not knowing what she wants since she dont talk. The biggest thing that I had to adjust to was not getting up and going somewhere just whenever I wanted to. Just like you skinny its all worth it and wouldnt trade it for the world. But there sure are those really rough days
2 people like this
• United States
20 Apr 08
I remember those days hun. I still have some sleep deprivation myself but only because of my schedule. Hang in there, it goes away!! Thanks for the oh so true response!
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45640)
20 Apr 08
I'm not a mom Skinny. Despite my apparent penchant for ladies underwear! But I am a Dad - both real and to surrogate daughters. You are quite correct about your heart swelling when you see them sleep etc. But what about the interminable taxi rides to take them to see friends, go swimming or to the hospital when they hurt themselves. What about their ability to suck the money that you were going to spend on something else from your wallet because "everyone else is getting one", or "school says". What about the clothes, washing and ironing only to find them slung about unworn after a mass try on session. What about the raging hormones. Periods. (Girls only). Arguments, tears and fights (and that's just me!). But what about the kisses and cuddles. The laughter and happiness. Nope. I wouldn't swap for the World. My surrogate cyber daughter has just has an article purchased from Helium. Am I proud. You betcha!
2 people like this
• United States
20 Apr 08
LOL...That is pretty much all of it in a nutshell. Congrats to your surrogate daughter that is wonderful! Thanks my dear one for such a thoughtful response!
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Apr 08
I employ active ignoring with my kids when it comes to those times when their world is coming to an end and they are throwing a temper tantrum to rival someone who has had a limb suddenly amputated. I tell them calmly they when they stop screaming, crying, and carrying on and can talk to me in an inside voice I will acknowledge them. Until then I have changed my name to something they cannot pronounce and that is the end of it. They can stand 2 feet from me screaming bloody murder and I ignore them. I act like they aren't there. Unless I see blood or bone or the house is on fire there isn't anything wrong with them. It wasn't easy but once I started it and they got the message their tantrums have become less and less traumatic.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Apr 08
Thanks for the tips! I need to do that on mine it sounds like! As always, thanks for the hilarious post too. I never thought about changing my name to something they couldn't pronounce! LOL
1 person likes this
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
21 Apr 08
hi skinnychick, i am a single mom of four children. 7 years ago i decide to leave my husband and tag my kids along. he is an abusive man and running away from him is the only thing i think that would make our lives better. from that day on i became there mom and their dad. it was not easy. ican understand your situation. yes it is over joy to be a mom... i dont think a mom in the right mind will leave their children behind just to live alone. i love my children so much that i can not live without them. but seven years ago they were all still toodlers. quarreling, complaining well i know you can imagine. i on the other hand needs to go to work then when i go home i need to be a mom too. pile of laundry, meetings at school. and for me the not so great about being a mom is... people blaming you for not being a good mom for your children. that is the most hurting thing i heard, and whats more painful is i heard that from my sister. lucky me now that they are all teens and they help me around with the chores. life is much easy now than before when they were little. i think you just have to be more patient skinny.
• United States
21 Apr 08
Normally I am pretty patient but there are days when it builds up. I think it is completely normal. I do admire you for getting out of that situation with 4 small kids on your own that is amazing. Lucky you, that they can help now. When people especially family call someone else a bad mother that is ridiculous. It sounds to me like your sister is wrong and you are a phenomenal one. Thanks for the inspiring response.
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
22 Apr 08
i wish my sister also realizes that i am trying to be the best mom i can be. it is not easy but i would rather tag them along than leave them. i agree with you that sometimes there are days that it just built up and you just want to shout ENOUGHHHHHHHH!!! but i sweet hug and a smile from our kids makes a big difference.
• United States
27 Apr 08
Very very true!
@dizzblnd (3073)
• United States
27 Apr 08
Now that mine are teens, one of whom is driving, I worry about him every time he leaves the house. I am STILL gawking at how much the insurance went up since adding him. The amount of money it takes to get them through high school (lab fees, year books, various "donations"), then college. Most of my gripes are about money, other than that.. there's nothing I wouldn't do for them. I do remember those days when I waited for their bedtime to come so I could regain a little of my sanity before the insanity started all over again.
• United States
28 Apr 08
I can only imagine what your car insurance looks like! Ughhh! I'm not looking forward to that. I like the last thing you wrote- that is my life in 1 sentence! LOL Thanks for the response!
@emma412 (1156)
• United States
27 Apr 08
I too unconditionally love my daughter but some days feel like throwing the towel in. She is thirteen months old and in total toddler mode. She gets into everything and is starting to show a real independent streak. Sometimes it drives me crazy! She sees something she wants and she'll stop at nothing to get it. My husband is in the Navy and gone a lot. He is currently gone for seven months. I am a stay at home mom and fill that role twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. My family lives across the country so I don't get to see them very often. It's very hard taking care of a child and running a household on your own. I feel for all of those single moms out there! I find that when I get to that point where I am almost in tears of frustration she does something to completely redeem herself and I totally forget the terror she can be. Ah, the joy of motherhood!
• United States
28 Apr 08
I'm sure that being a single mom is very hard. There is nobody to help and I'm sure it can be frustrating. I hope your husband comes home real soon.
@bellaofchaos (11550)
• United States
22 Apr 08
Hey skinny luv, I know where your coming from I'm a mom of 5 and it wasn't always a two parent household when my husband decided he didn't want to have the responsibility of a wife and kids anymore he walked out and left me with a 1 yr old and a 3 month old. I was getting ready to start college and I had no job. So yep I know exactly how your feeling it's hard and stressful at times but in the end well worth it. I wouldn't change anything for the world .. I love my little buggers. . My middle child currently has me wanting to throttle him becuase he got suspended from school so now I have to go meet with the principle tomorrow morning to see if he is allowed to go back yet grrr. That is definitely not a great thing about being a parent. How do I deal with parenting when it gets to much I go outside on the front porch and go to my happy place or I listen to music louder than the kids can scream LOL!! I have my ways. But Like you I wouldn't change it for the world no matter what hardships I come by I'd give my life for them. LOL!! have a nice one hun.
• United States
21 Apr 08
i love being a mom to a little boy right now and i will also greatly love to be a mom on a little girl too. right now i am very proud of my son who is on school on his early age, his 2 yrs old and he a smart little boy a mom will wish to have. i just want him to enjoy life a kid and learn a little by little. anyway im a father and a mom to my son, since me and my partner is having a LONG Distance Relationship.being alone when my so born is not a easy life for me,i cried alot asking why his dad is not arround. but inspite of it seeing his lovely face ease the pain and take my tiredness. yet they see ach other physicaly every 6 mos. and the only thing i can say not so great about being a mom in on case is when he ask " where is daddy again" ? why we cant be with daddy"? why we cant ride a plane w/him? the only answer i gave was, " daddy need to work on the plane " i just let him belived daddy is on the airplane,though not. and everytime he see plane he shout daddy and say " hi daddy i love love u " my heart ache and i wish this LONG Distance Relationship will be end soon and we will be united so i wont own my son a brief explaination.
• United States
21 Apr 08
I hope that for you as well! Thanks for the response.
@kezabelle (2985)
21 Apr 08
Being a mum is hard work obviously you get all the good parts but with it comes worry about every choice you make for them and that can be so hard to deal with always wondering if you are doing the right thing I have two little girls aged 4 and 2 years they are wonderful but they aren perfect they fight and argue and are naughty sometimes, sometimes its not their fault and im just tired and cranky and not up to dealing with it all thats really hard. I think venting about the bad parts is good nothing worse than bottling it up i find though if things are tough go to your child when it is sleeping sit and watch their tiny faces all innocent and peaceful and somehow it seems to melt all the bad things away and makes you realise its not that bad really, until the next morning anyway lol!
• United States
21 Apr 08
I absolutely agree 100 percent. You just took my feelings all in one post and summed it up. Thanks for the response. Looks like we are in the same boat. :)
@wasim989 (2303)
• India
21 Apr 08
Its natural to feel this way sometimes but at the end of the day you surely love your kids verymuch. Actually in my point of view Mom is great from all aspects.
• United States
21 Apr 08
Thanks for the comment. I appreciate that opinion. I wish that I could be as optimistic as that. :) Have a nice day.
@fritzie (141)
• Philippines
21 Apr 08
I'm not a mother yet but I can picture out your question. Some mothers tend to stay inside the house doing house chores everyday of their life. As if there's no tommorow. Some deprived the things they used to when they're still single like going out and lunch with friends, go to the parlor, window shop, or go to some place where they can relax. Deprivation of these things happens usually when you have kids already because your attention will be divided. You have to set a priority and that your top priority is your kids (daddy is mostly out of the picture because he's in the office) It's really important to find time to celebrate yourself alone because usually boredom starts there.
• United States
21 Apr 08
You are absolutely right. So often we neglect ourselves. We completely forget that we need time alone to be better parents. But don't do it, we just flop into bed that night and do the same thing the very next day. Thanks for posting this- it is a very important thing to remember.
• Canada
21 Apr 08
i am a mother of a 9 year old and i would not tread her in for the world but we have a bad days too she at the age where she thinks she knows everything and i know nothing and her friends get away with alot more than she does so i always hear her mom lets her do it yes its great to be a mom but it also hard and the kids today and alot more advanced than i was when i was growing up with the cell phone and ipods and god knows what else you got to talk to yours kids trust them but also know our children are good kids but they do bad things don,t be one parents who think there children do no wrong because they do talk to them and let them know weather they do good or bad you are there for them no matter what
• United States
21 Apr 08
I didn't even think about how much more advanced kids are today. This is scary and makes me think technology is making a mom's job harder. Ughhh! Thanks for the response.
@aseretdd (13709)
• Philippines
21 Apr 08
The worst is when my baby cries none stop and i don't know what is wrong... or what hurts... and i tell God to just give me what is ailing my daughter... i would rather hurt than hear her cry or suffer things that she cannot even describe... Aside for that... i love motherhood a lot... even the sacrifices that i have to make for my baby...
• United States
27 Apr 08
Thanks for the response and I agree with you- I hate when my kids are sick. I wish I could take it for them too.
@mbs730 (2152)
• Canada
21 Apr 08
I love my kids too and so glad I had them. But one of my kids is under the autism spectrum and one thing I hate is worrying how he will be, if he will grow into an independent person (which everyone is reassuring me that he will, he is extremely intelligent). But I hate the worrying and stress with that. I also admit I at times when really stressed that I had my freedom back which in a different way will come once they are older and less demanding. But to be honest, more than anything I hate it when they are SICK!!! Fortunately its not often but when it does, UGH.
• United States
27 Apr 08
Thanks so much for the response!
• United States
21 Apr 08
Hello every thing great about been a mom beside when the child is out of control then that become a real problem for moms.
• United States
21 Apr 08
Thanks for the response. I do have to agree with you there.
• Pakistan
20 Apr 08
kids make a womand or girl complete, and it is natural that they feel joyfull after the birht of a kid. and u ahgve to look after them all the time and it gives u lot of satisfaction also.
• United States
20 Apr 08
It surely does give you more satisfaction than you can imagine. But you aren't thinking about that in the swing of a tantrum or attitude from my oldest daughter and I'm exhausted! :) Thanks for stopping by!