Why does he NOT understand ANYTHING?!

@jenni7202 (1598)
United States
April 20, 2008 6:06pm CST
Everytime I talk to my dad, I have to explain everything I tell him at least 10 times before he gets it. Than, a few days later, he brings it up again, and he doesn't understand it again! I love my dad, but he's really annoying. I wish he would just listen to me the first time, instead of making smart remarks while I speak. My dad doesn't seem to understand anything, unless you explain it to him 20 billion times! He drives me nuts, grr. Do you have this problem with anyone? Does it annoy you, or no?
7 people like this
18 responses
@julyteen (13259)
• Davao, Philippines
23 Apr 08
i am lucky enough i never experience like that. my family specially my dad are very understanding even i made some mistake he always forgive me. if ever my dad is like your dad maybe i will escaped from home and make myself blacksheep to the family.
2 people like this
@hassanah (387)
• Malaysia
22 Apr 08
Yupp!I have this problem with my friend.She always cannot understand what i want and say to her.But I always know and understand her,why she cannot do like i do to her?
2 people like this
@gemini_rose (16194)
21 Apr 08
Oh my Dad is like that too!! Must be a Dad thing I guess!! My dad makes the smart remarks, and when I tell him something he always has to ring me a million times for me to go through it again and again!! Not long ago he set up a shop on ebay, and as I knew how it worked I had to help him, and help him and help him. He would ring about 4 times a day and always when I was just about to fetch the kids from school. I joked with him that I had never talked to him so much!! He has now closed his shop and it is so peaceful once again!!!
2 people like this
@desaig8 (20)
• United States
21 Apr 08
Hi, this is very normal, and that is call genration--- gep the older one refuse to listen to younger one.
2 people like this
@chiyosan (30206)
• Philippines
21 Apr 08
ohhh just be patient with your father. my mom is also like that. she is only 55 but thinks she's a senior citizen! and always lets us repeat what we say all the time... she doesnt listen and wants us to always consider her feelings about anything. She is not being fair most of the time cause she wants all the attention to her. i get annoyed with that cause she should be acting her age and she's perfectly healthy!
2 people like this
@yona06 (585)
• Indonesia
21 Apr 08
lol, aren't all parents like that? Actually almost all elderly people I know are like that. maybe it has something to do with the decrease of brain functions when we get older. It's frustrating, yes, but it's human :)
2 people like this
@sherrir101 (3670)
• United States
20 Apr 08
Some parents refuse to believe that their children are grown up and have ideas and opinions. I know that I act this way with my daughter some of the times. I know that my mom act this way with me. Out of respect, I tone down my ways and make the discussion *lighter* for them. I have a hard time doing this most of the time.
2 people like this
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
21 Apr 08
It isn't that he doesn't understand entirely it is that he doesn't quite get you as a thinking adult yet. Really! Parents of adult children have a very hard time with the transition. We are use to being the smart ones, the ones with all the answers, the ones with the authority and the brilliance. We are use to being the ones that our children look up to. Then come the dreaded teenage years. We expect them but ouch they hurt anyway. We know the will be the years of angst.. yours and ours. They will be the years usually between 14 and 18 that will be spent in hair tearing, swearing, door slamming, and "I hate you". We know it and believe me the teens aren't the only ones doing the tearing and swearing - parents are doing it too. Finally, over the hump of the hated teen years and into pre-adult. Ahhhh, the sigh of relief from all is heard. You don't hate us quite as much and we aren't quite as afraid that you will kill yourselves. If you are off to university welll and good, we might still have some fears as you will be faced with some new and delicious temptations, but we trust that you have reached a new level of maturity and will ride the storm of your new found freedom with a minimum of bumps and bruises. Then you hit true adulthood. You want to talk to us again as if we were peers. But darlin' we aren't. We are still parents and you are still our child. The relationship has not changed. Only the vision you have of your relative knowledge within the scope of life. Our relative knowledge remains consistently greater than yours, believe me we have still lived longer than you. Sounds horrid doesn't it? The problem is that with your new found adulthood you, our children have suddenly begun to see us your parents through different eyes - you think we are stupid. We aren't stupid. We continue to be as smart as we always were. We continue to love you as we always did. We also know that this is another phase that you will need to pass through and that we must tolerate. We defend against it with with smart remarks, hearing problems, and misplaced lack of understanding forcing you to think through whatever it is that you are attempting to discuss. Frequently this works terrifically as you will often come to a different conclusion than the one you begin with. How do I know this? Been through this with my father and with my adult children. Seen it through the lens of a daughter and a mother. Sometimes my father still does it to me. Sometimes I still do it to my sons who are 27 and 30 now. The relationship of fathers to daughters or mothers to sons, unless highly disfunctional, remains consistent from generation to generation. He understands but likely disagrees. Rather than get into an argument he makes a choice to play dumb. Consider what he plays dumb about this might help.
@jenni7202 (1598)
• United States
21 Apr 08
It actually isn't just with me, or my siblings, or anyone that is just younger than him. He naturally just doesn't understand things that are told to him, no matter what it is, or who it is from. I don't think it's because he is just not agreeing, it's just he simply just doesn't understand.
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
21 Apr 08
Is it just recently that he isn't understanding things that are said to him? This really might be something other than poor comprehension skills.
1 person likes this
@jenni7202 (1598)
• United States
24 Apr 08
No, he's always been that way. My mother has always gotten very frusterated with it, as well as us. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad, but it gets annoying sometimes to have to repeat myself over and over.
@wasim989 (2302)
• India
21 Apr 08
I think this is a common problem with everyone. Our parents don't listen to us maybe because they think they are right and we are wrong.
1 person likes this
@wasim989 (2302)
• India
22 Apr 08
You are welcome
1 person likes this
@healer (1783)
• India
21 Apr 08
He is also like my dad, we do the same like you do and there are times that he does not understand at all or does not consider at all so we have to break the rules. My dad wants us to be like smart and try to give what other have but he is just an old fashioned dad so we have to make a long list of advantage about the stuffs that we want to acquire or adopt. Sometimes its hard as we cannot convice him easily but deep inside his heart he wants the best for us. So lets break the rules and do things that our dad does not want us to do but only the rules we should love him and try to make him happy by not allowing him to know what is happening.
1 person likes this
@tm1259 (15)
• Philippines
21 Apr 08
you know if i have a father like that.. i understand him because you know if we sons and daughters had done something wrong and tried to explain it to our parents our parents listens but they just dont show if you think that they do not understand you they did they are just showing you that they are just worried about you and that you must make sure that you never do that again...
@Esoteric1 (866)
• Canada
21 Apr 08
I can't say I have that problem, but my mother does all the time with her hubby. Sometimes she has to explain over and over and then over again on other days, it is really annoying for me as I normally have to sit here and listen to it, even tho I remember what she said and it was not even meant for me. I feel ya ... I wish people would listen.
1 person likes this
@chrissieatu (1033)
• China
21 Apr 08
Actually, my father is just the same. The difference may be that I do not have to explain it that much times. Somehow I have got used to it. It's Ok. I know it's really annoying. But he's my dad. And we have an age gap of more than 20 years. So~relax
1 person likes this
• Australia
21 Apr 08
yes, my mother can be like this, as well as my sisters but I think family members sometimes hear only what they want to hear about other family members. Welcome to the world we live in LOL...I just try to ignore it and not let it get to me. Who cares what they think, just tune him out LOL...
@Bethany1202 (3432)
• United States
21 Apr 08
I know a couple people like that as well. Sometimes people have a lot on their mind and find it hard to concentrate and listen, while others are just selfish/self-absorbed or however you'd like to characterize it... It's very annoying to have to repeat the same thing to a person 50 times! Sorry you have this problem with your dad.
1 person likes this
• India
21 Apr 08
hi friend....you are not the only one who is facing such problem.I am also facing the same problem with my dad.He is 80 plus and i have to also remind him nearly all the things agai and again.You know what he even forgets what he said just a few seconds back or what he had eaten a few minutes back or what he had said a few minutes back.I also feel bugged up sometimes but dear friend we should not forget on thing that one day we are also going to recah that stage and this my happen to us also and so please deal the whole situation with uderstanding and sympathy as the old people need that in ABUNDANCE...
1 person likes this
@gantwick (849)
• United States
20 Apr 08
I had a boss like that. What was really bad was that a few weeks later he would have a brilliant new idea that he thought up, which would be what I had said before. I can understand your frustration.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Apr 08
how old is your dad because it might be a medical condition not orneryness that is making him not understand.Was he checked for alzenheimers disease? I know you love him but it could be he is not really at fault if he does not remember because he could be having problems in his brain. Get your dad checked out by his doctor and if he is coming down with alzenheimers he can be given medications that can help his memory.