I'm getting discouraged

United States
April 21, 2008 7:30am CST
For those of you that dont know, i started babysitting full time for my sister-in-law. But, i havent been paid for watchin them ain a long time. it started out watching them for her to find a job. she got one at the hours me and her both didnt like, and it was only two or three days a week. So i got paid once i think while she was working there. Then i babysitted off and on agian while she looked for a job, this goes on for a few months. She got a job at a learning center and has like a 9 to 6 job, but you got to add two hours of that on to when i have the kids, because her works an hour away. I know she will pay me her first paycheck. I'm just getting tired of working 7 days a week (b/c, for those of you that dont know, we have a business on the side) The thing that discourages me the most it the father of the children wont give me a penny, and he wont watch them on his days off. Pisses me off so bad. I keep babysitting for my sister-in-law. I just wanted to vent about what makes me so mad about having to babysit right now. and i am just ready to call it quits. I guess ill hold it in for another week, and when i start getting paid it should be easier to take my time babysitting
4 people like this
21 responses
@Elixiress (3893)
27 May 08
The father is awful in my opinion, he won't even look after his own children that is just wrong. At least the mother has an excuse, she is working. Maybe talk to her and tell her you want a day off and can their dad not look after them on his days off and you will continue to look after them on the other days.
2 people like this
• United States
16 Jun 08
well i did finally quit babysitting when she said she couldnt pay me, only because i knew that it was going to be a long repeat of i cant pay you. She told me after i quit that she had a free babysitter lined up already anyways and wasnt going to tell me about it. lost a lot of respect for her because she never once told me thank you, or every remotely act like she appriaciated the time i sacarficed to watch her kids
1 person likes this
@Elixiress (3893)
17 Jun 08
Who would babysit for free? Unless it is family or something?
2 people like this
• United States
18 Jun 08
I have no idea i am trying to figure that one out myself, she must have kids of her own or something, it is someone they dont even know personally, I'm just wondering how long it will take them to quit babysitting
• United States
18 Jun 08
its always ok to vent. but i think you are better than me because i would have quit a long time ago, because you are using your time when you could be doing something else to help her out and she may be taking advantage of you. but in the end it will just make things worse for her because sooner or later she's not gonna have you to watch the kids and she'll have to actually pay someone and the she regret not paying you.so just keep yor head up and try to hang in there a long as you can.
2 people like this
• United States
18 Jun 08
well i already quit and somehow she found a complete stranger to watch her kids for FREE which is crazy. oh well life goes on im now free again
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
16 Jun 08
"never" do buisness w/your family. they are the worst people you'll have to deal with no matter how much you love them. they will take advantage of you every time. maybe they don't mean to but they will. i worked w/my mother 17 years in a beauty shop & i tell u it was rough.
2 people like this
• United States
16 Jun 08
its now over so no more to worry about, and never again cept for the business my fiance and i started
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (11008)
• United States
16 Jun 08
I would hold out until she gets her first paycheck and then if she does not pay you I would tell her she will need to find a new sitter. If she has not so much as even offered an explanation for not paying you and promised you a date in which you will be paid she is being very inconsiderate and it would not be rude at all to ask when you may expect payment. You could even write all the hours you have worked for her down and give it to her. If she has issues with providing you information as to when she will be paying you then I would tell her since she is family you will watch the children for a ocuple more days, but after that she will have to find a new sitter. I babysat for my sister in law for a couple of years as well, and she did some things as well that took advantage of me. One day I just lost it and let it all out on her. The problems stopped.
2 people like this
• United States
16 Jun 08
Well it only took two paychecks before she wasnt going to pay me (she never told me she didnt have the money, i had to finally ask her if she was going to pay me to find out) so i told her that i wasnt going to babysit anymore and she said its ok she already had a free babysitter set up anyway. So now im back to my life and now i do what i want with my free time no more kids (for now untill i have my own.)
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
22 Apr 08
sounds to me that your sis-in-law is taking your kindness for granted... looking after children is not an easy task and it is very demanding... do you have an agreement from the beginning on how much she has to pay you every week or forthnight??? if yes, then she has to stick with the agreement and pay you... otherwise, just refuse to look after her children anymore and ask her to put them in a daycare... see how much she has to pay for daycare and she will start to realise that you had been helping her a lot and save her heaps of money... i know that daycare is not cheap at all... it is so expensive here in australia...
2 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 08
Yes i thought of this, and im wondering how much she will pay me when she gets a paycheck. Our agreement was that i would watch them untill she gets a job and is able to pay me. But i didnt know at that time it would take her so long to get a job, then that that job wouldnt pay her for two weeks. So its just getting a little tireing waiting on the paycheck
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18453)
• India
22 Apr 08
i think you are quite justified in what you are actually thinking. the father must take atleast some responsibility. also when he is not taking, he should pay you. they should also take into consideration what you are going through.
• United States
22 Apr 08
Yes i think she relizes what i'm doing but he doesnt, he doesnt even care. Oh well it will all work out
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Apr 08
Well give them a lesson on it.. Try telling them that yo will be stopping babysitting since you don't get paid and the father don't want to watch the kids during the weekend tell them you will look for something else where you get paid and get the weekends off. If they know your reasons maybe you'll get their sympathy and they will soften. If not they will have to take care of the kids themselves.
2 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 08
YEs this is waht i will have to do, i want to give it a couple more weeks and if she starts paying me then i will be fine, but if not, its time for her to find someone else to babysit
1 person likes this
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
22 Apr 08
I undersatnd the feeling. I babysit for my sister for a few weeks and she never paid me. I have multiple sclrosis so it is really hard on me trying to watch my nephew and my neice. Don't get me wrong I love both of them. I finally told her this is to much for me. I think it upset me because she never paid me anything at all.
2 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 08
Yes i would get real upset if she doesnt pay me on her first paycheck, i will wait a little longer and see.
1 person likes this
@kezabelle (2985)
21 Apr 08
You are a good person to watch her children for no money it would cost her a fortune in a proper day care facility so she is using you that isnt fair, and their dad sounds like he needs to step up a bit and watch his own children once in a while. Personally I would have refused to babysit any longer until i had some money so your sister in law is very lucky to have you, i hope she starts paying you soon
2 people like this
• United States
21 Apr 08
she gets paid either this week or next and she will pay me, she started a job that only pays every two weeks, so its taking a while to get her paycheck. I just hope she pays me enough to make it worth it b/c if she doesnt this IS going to stop soon. I try to help her out b/c i know she has a douchbag for a husband, but I can only go so far.
@patzel88 (3311)
• Philippines
16 Jun 08
i think you have to tell her or you brother that you want to take another chances, have a new job. or you might be consider that they are still your family, by helping them because they neede you badly for their children.
2 people like this
@wasim989 (2302)
• India
22 Apr 08
Hiiii Just make yourself clear to your sister-in-law instead of making your self uncomfortable.
2 people like this
@minnie_98214 (10573)
• United States
21 Apr 08
Its stressful watching kids and not getting paid yet. I ran a daycare for 3 years and had those moms that payday would come and they didnt have the money what can you do lol. That is when I started requesting the money on Monday to pay for the week ahead or I dont watch your kid. Im sure shes gonna pay you but I still know how you feel.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Apr 08
YEa i know shes going to pay me too, but its just annoying waiting so long for any paycheck. I havent had my own spending money in so long i cant wait to have my own, that means new clothes, movies, and all the stuff my fiance is to cheap to buy LOL.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Apr 08
Well you will enjoy your shopping even more once you get the money.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Apr 08
yes i know i will, since i have a business at a flea market im sure all my money will go there LOL
@gemini_rose (16194)
21 Apr 08
I really sypathise with you here, I had a friend and her and her hubby used to work shifts and every other week their shift pattern would clash and they would both work from 2 - 10pm, the person who used to do it got fed up of it and so I offered to help out until they found someone else. They said they would pay me which was great as I was a single parent at the time, she had 4 kids and I had one, so I had to pick them all up from school, cook tea for them, get them ready for bed and put them to bed!! At first it was ok, but then they would make excuses not to pay and they never seemed to find anyone else and it ended up that I dreaded the week coming that I would have to do it, so I know how you feel. If it keeps on then you will have to make your feelings clear, I had to in the end.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Apr 08
Thats what it will come down too if she doesnt start paying soon. She does get a paycheck later, and i can trust her to give me SOME money. Not the dad though, he doesnt care at all it seems. They arnt that bad really, there intertained easily, and when she starts paying me (if she pays good enough) i was going to start buying little stuff for learning materials and stuff. that all depends on how much she pays me though. I dont know for a week i would say at least 50 and thats pushing it. two kids, and 11 hours a day.
@gemini_rose (16194)
21 Apr 08
That is a long time to look after other peoples children, especially when you are busy with your own stuff, you should make sure you get a good pay and try not to do to much, you do not want to end up burning yourself out and that is easy to do.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Apr 08
yes i know, and with my business when we advance im getting a mall cart (wich means more profit) and then i cant watch her kids anymore when that comes around, i dont know how long, we want a good foundation before moving from flea market to mall cart. So she isnt going to have that advantage for ever either way. So we shall see what happens
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
22 Apr 08
Well i guess your patient enough to wait for your deal. They are also quite lucky to have you helping them on that matter. To babysit is not that easy..and its risky too. So i understand what you feel. They are your family so being patient and helping them is make you so nice and kind. I am sure they noticed that then later they will thank you for what you did for them.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Apr 08
I really hope they notice what im doing for them, I dont like giving favors that become unnoticed, but i think it will get better, i feel much better today
1 person likes this
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
22 Apr 08
They will and good to know that you are feel better now.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (15483)
• Quezon City, Philippines
18 Jun 08
I know its hard to be working without being compensated properly. i guess you have to let that concern your sister in law about that. I am pretty sure that they will understand you being a relative. I think the father also must start taking responsibility for their child. You should air that concern too.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jun 08
I tried to let them know, these are the type of people that think EVERYTHING should be handed to them on a silver platter, i hope one day they learn that they need to make there own life and pay for there own things, other than spending 100's of dollars on game systems that arnt a priority
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Jun 08
i do not blame you, the father should be helping out, if his wife has the guts to work he should be ashamed of himself for not helping pay the baby sitting expenses for his wife. Yes it will be easier when you start getting paid for what you are doing. I would ask the father again for money as those are his kids never mind if it makes him upset as you have a right to be paid.
• United States
18 Jun 08
Yes I probally should of confronted the dad many times over it, but i never did, its ok i dont babysit anymore.
@ladysakurax (1163)
• Canada
22 Apr 08
I think you should quit already. It's nice from you to keep their children but when the father is free and he's out having fun. I am having kind of the same problem here. My uncle lives with us and during winter, I was the one who shovels the snow while he's playing games or watching tv afterwork and all weekend. Maybe you should tell them nicely that you are busy and won't have time to babysit anymore.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Apr 08
I'm very closly to doing exactley what you said, but since she just started her job i will give her a couple more weeks. When i start getting paid i will probally fill better
• Malaysia
21 Apr 08
Sorry to hear about your situation libertarian..They're lucky to have someone like you who is willing to help them. I agree with you holding it for another week. Give them another week and from there, you can decide whether to continue babysitting or just call it a quit and you have to tell them honestly the reason why you are quitting. Let them know what their mistakes were and hope they learn from it. About your brother, he acts that way because he thought since you're there, why would he bother watching them. Another thing is, they might be quite tight financially or maybe they are trying their best to work things out. And yeah, giving them a little more time is the best. You can always approach them if you feel like you cannot stand it anymore. Let them know how you feel towards the situation. If you keep it to yourself for so long, the one going to suffer will be yourself. So talk and communicate your feelings as well as theirs. Good luck.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Apr 08
Hes not my brother, my fiances sisters husband, anyways, he has had a job this whole time, and i know they really cant afford a babysitter, but when he goes out and spends 60$ on a game, while I'm babysitting, and he's home on tuesdays but i still have to babysit, thats what discourages me. I am going to wait till this week or next, which is when i start getting paid and that should make me fill better. I just hope she pays me enough to make it worth it
• United States
21 Apr 08
It is family so it is a harder situation. Im sure you love the kids but it has got to be hard to give up your time and the food you are feeding them. I would give it a while and if she hasnt made an effort to pay ask her to work out some sort of payment arrangements until she can make the entire ammount.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Apr 08
I'm sure when she starts getting paychecks she will start paying me. Its just the whole time ive been watching them to this point, i think its so close to her paycheck that im getting discouraged waiting on it. I know that everything will work out though
• Nigeria
21 Apr 08
Tough time never last but tough people do...dont quit baby sitting it could be boring but its worth it. You are only ivesting in your future by baby sitting,it might be your children or grand children who will benefit the seed you've sowed, so please do quit. you'll be rewarded greatly soon
• United States
22 Apr 08
I'm not going to quit unless they keep taking advantage of me, or my business starts off and i have to work. but other than that i will be babysitting for them for some time now.