Mothers walks away from bad children, What would you do??

@mssnow (9484)
United States
April 21, 2008 7:39am CST
I was walking down the street the other day and saw a mom who had three small boys. The oldest was about 6 youngest was still in a stroller and was about two years old. Ok so they were acting up a bit. She told them if they didn't stop she would walk away and leave them. The oldest was trying to make the the youngest quiet down but he was a little and didnt understand. He started screaming. The mom looked at them and said "THATS IT!!" she left the stroller and started walking away. I WAS SHOCKED!!. The oldest son grabbed the stroller. Can you imagine a six year old doing that and started running after mom and the middle child followed. THEY ALL GOT QUIET AND followed mom who didn't say a word. The walked on down the street and the mom took the stroller from the oldest child and said. "You guys see what happens when you don't listen to mom". They didn't say a word and just walked right beside mom. Ok tell me what you think. Do you think the mom was right for up and leaving the babies?? They did mind her after that. I wonder if she had left them before?? What would you have done??
13 people like this
42 responses
@minnie_98214 (10557)
• United States
21 Apr 08
I have done something like this too and it works if you know youre kids will freak. My youngest is a mammas boy so me leaving freaks him out and he will come running. I have never actually left my kids I would go around a corner and watch them for a sec if they didnt come running. They will behave after that for sure.
2 people like this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
21 Apr 08
I have done that too but not quite to that extreme. Im not sure how wise that was in the street
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Apr 08
As long as you can still see them I think its fine. I mean they ran after her so what could happen. Moms know what there kids would do and she probably knew hers would run after her.
2 people like this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
21 Apr 08
Thats true and you really cant judge someone when you dont know all the facts
@GuateMom (1411)
• Canada
22 Apr 08
I understand that she was upset, but leaving your children like that will only make them afraid. I think the worst thing you can do to kids is make them feel unsafe and like your love is conditional. So, I´m 100% AGAINST walking away from them on the street! Especially if it is because they are misbehaving. They´ll feel disposable and this is a feeling that can stick with them until adulthood. I know because my dad used to do this. He would get angry at my mom and make her get out of the car and drive away. Once he dumped my sisters with her and left them there. It scared us very badly and we never felt that he really loved us because if we were bad, he didn´t want us anymore. He once told my mom to call Social Services to take my sister away because she hadn´t cleaned her room when he told her to. Kids should not be made to feel that their behavior has anything to do with whether you love them or not. I always tell my boys when I´m angry with them, "I love you. You´re really making me mad right now, but that doesn´t make me love you any less."
2 people like this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
22 Apr 08
I'm sorry your dad did that to you.When my boys were little I used to tell them that No matter what I will always love them.
@traengle (144)
• United States
22 Apr 08
great response...you are 100% right.
1 person likes this
@callarse1 (4783)
• United States
21 Apr 08
Hello mssnow, I don't know her children so I can't give specific recommendations. However, I think there are other effective ways to discipline children, and come on a baby? How is a baby to know when not to cry? Perhaps that mom was very stressed. However, I don't know what her idea was on that matter. So I probably wouldn't recommend it, plus you shouldn't leave your children like that. So I agree that that was a bad idea. Pablo
2 people like this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
22 Apr 08
Hi Pablo, yeah the wrong place anyways
21 Apr 08
Interesting responses you've been getting here. I'm not a mother, but I can tell I've seen this done many times. On streets, in shops. It works, and I suspect the mothers (or fathers) always have one eye on the children. My mother used to do it to my younger sisters. She may have done it to me too, but I don't remember. It works and no physical harm comes to a child. Would people prefer she smacked them? Or completely ignored them and continued about her business while they screamed? I've seen people do that too... drives me spare. The eldest seems like a smart, considerate kid that cares about others. He didn't just up and run after his mother (or run away while his mother wasn't looking) but took his kid sibling. You ask me, I think she's done right by that one at the very least... and the others will follow suite.
2 people like this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
21 Apr 08
I have left my own children in stores to scream their heads off but I would always be close by. Im not sure if a street is a safe place to that though
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Apr 08
ok - how far did this mom actually get? my sister and i have done similar things when our children are on a kick like this - chances are, if she could not see them, she COULD hear them - and would not have "followed through" so far that she was actually abandoning them. believe me - this would change my answer completely!! it sure sounds to me like her tactic worked very well. i prefer the sound of this, as opposed to hitting the children, or locking them in a closet when they get home.
2 people like this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
21 Apr 08
I think the oldest son already knew. but yes it did work and she didnt get far at all they were almost right behind her
1 person likes this
• Canada
22 Apr 08
Ok well with the amount of children No I would not BUT with my son (I only had him at the time), If my son fell on the floor screaming when he was little after I told him he couldn't have something I would go just out of his sight and he would jump up and run after me thinking I left him. Now for some parents this way works best but I would never have left and walked down the street that to me is way worse. I could always see my son and was never very far. I also know my limits with my son and he is scared to be without me( he doesn't understand why he is going to have to live on his own when he grows up LOL) Anyways this works with my son but I would never leave my 1 and a half yr old daughter in his care thats not right.
2 people like this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
22 Apr 08
I could maybe see it more if it were just the 6 yeear old. but to just leave a child in a stroller and walk away. no
• Canada
23 Apr 08
oh yea thats what I was saying I don't agree with her leaving the 2 older ones with the younger one. Sometime parents need to learn to do planned ignoring rather than up and leaving and in this situation I think thats what she should have done.
@weemam (13372)
21 Apr 08
A bit unusual but it seemed to work for her . when my boys were little the got a spanking , Not a battering , a spanking and they all grew up lovely young men with lovely manners xx
2 people like this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
21 Apr 08
I never spanked my boys but they were disciplined they are grown men now and wonderful. Wha work for one doesn't always work for another
1 person likes this
@mansha (6298)
• India
21 Apr 08
Iam shocked by this too, how can you leave kids on side walk and walk away. a million thiong scan happen. what if they had slipped on to the road in following her and met with an accident. Just a few days back I answered a discussion about how a child got crushed under a speeding car as he left his father behind and rushed out of the mall. what if something would have happened and then she would never have forgiven herself and her six year old is minding the baby, how can she expect him to do so. Its plain case of abusing kids. You ought to have grabbed her kids and called emergency. I know I would have had.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
21 Apr 08
yes well what I should of done and what i did are two different things when your in a situation you just dont think of all of the things to do till later. Thanks
1 person likes this
@mansha (6298)
• India
15 May 08
yes I know , we do realise later and I just hope her kids grow up to be okay.
@jewel76 (2305)
• Canada
22 Apr 08
I find her method was a little drastic..i'd have told them that's it, we're going home and each of you straight in your bedroom until mommy says its ok to come out..something like that.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
22 Apr 08
Yes plus dangerous
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
22 Apr 08
all the time, this is a way of disciplining children that is often used. I used it myself. When kids act out they want attention, not giving them attention is the only way that works effectively. The mother walked a way yes but she knew her kids would follow and they would not act out anymore. The mother even appearing like she wasn't looking is vigilant. She knows what the kids would do, if she thought they wouldn't follow she would not be walking far. Trust me it is an old tried and true trick.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
22 Apr 08
that could be but i still say not on a street
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
22 Apr 08
When I first read, I thought she turned around and walked away maybe less than 10 seconds. Then I read all, and noticed that she kept walking. Gees, I have done this to my kids, but never in a unsafe environment, where they could get hurt, or for that long. Plus how is a small child crying acting up. She should of stopped thinking of herself and checked to see why the little one was crying. I have a 6 yr old and I honestly can't see her pushing a smaller child in a stroller. She has trouble pushing her stuffed dog in a umbrella stroller when we went for a walk. Poor kids. I wonder if the mom knew she was being watched. I think I would have yelled out, "Hey, you might want to keep a better eye on them, being so close to a road and all. One mis slip with a stroller and the 6 yr old and the baby could have easily rolled into traffic.
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
22 Apr 08
When I first read, I thought she turned around and walked away maybe less than 10 seconds. Then I read all, and noticed that she kept walking. How is a small child crying acting up. She should of stopped thinking of herself and checked to see why the little one was crying. I have a 6 yr old and I honestly can't see her pushing a smaller child in a stroller. She has trouble pushing her stuffed dog in a umbrella stroller when we went for a walk. Poor kids. I wonder if the mom knew she was being watched. I think I would have yelled out, "Hey, you might want to keep a better eye on them, being so close to a road and all. One mis slip with a stroller and the 6 yr old and the baby could have easily rolled into traffic.
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
22 Apr 08
Ugh, it posted everything over again. I wanted to state before I get yelled at for leaving my kids, I don't up and walk away from them. I tell them ok, time to go, or turn left, right. Then I begin walking, and then they follow and I slow down for them to catch up. If they are acting up, I simply look at them and say do you want to go home at this moment, usually it's a no, and they stop playing around.
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
22 Apr 08
Yes that is true. I think it was a very unsafe place to do this
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
21 Apr 08
I'm sure the mother meant no harm to the children and was just trying to get them to stop acting up and behave. However I doubt she gave any thought to what this could do the the children mentally. When I was about 4 my mother was going out and told me to get in the car. I wanted my friend to come and she said no. So, I said I wasn't going. Well after much to do about it she said fine, I am leaving. She got in the car with my baby brother and sister and left. Well I just went off and played. She just rode down the street and came back and I still wouldn't get in I told her go, I'll wait here...lol Well I finally got in and then was in trouble the rest of the day. I still remember that I really didn't care, I knew she would be back. Well after that for years when we didn't behave she would always say " I'm going to an island where there are no children and no pets, and I am not coming back" Well after hearing that so much I came to believe that she might just do it. I spent from the time I was about 8 till my teenage years worrying that she really would go away...I was totally paranoid about this for years... You never know what will stick with a child .... No she still hasn't gone to the island...lol
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
21 Apr 08
I was always so worried about my mother leaving me (she never ever did) I would run to the car when it was time to go. I did not argue or put up a fuss. My mom was the type of person who wouldnt let me out of her site for a second. She worried all the time. I have no reason to know why I worried about her leaving me lol.. Good thing your mom didnt move to an island lol
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
21 Apr 08
Shopping - with kids who need to learn safety in staying nearby parents
Sometimes it takes a rude awakening to get kids to understand that you mean what you said. If my God kids were acting up, I'd leave them behind but within sight to give them a good scare in order to straighten them up. I see mothers chasing after their young ones in stores and other places. I say let them run and you hide but keep a watchful eye on them and the child will come back looking for their parent and if the child doesn't see them then they'll get all upset and scream. I say don't come out of hiding for a few seconds longer and I can almost guarantee you that the child will never run off again because the lesson would be well learned. I know it's cruel but it's much better than chancing some pedifile grabbing my child.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
21 Apr 08
I am not sure if you have read any of the other comments but its split down the middle of whether people agree to this or not. I kinda agree to an eextent but not sure if I agree with the way she left a baby in a stroller for her older child to take care of.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
22 Apr 08
Being a mother that she is, she only meant to scare her kids straight and it worked. I don't think she would've left her kids behind but walked away only to scare them. If the older child didn't grab the stroller, she would've returned. I just don't think she'd have left them there.
@queenofarms (1659)
• United States
21 Apr 08
Thats awful for this mother to do this. These are just babies. I would have done my best to calm these children down but it wouldn't have been leaving them.
2 people like this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
21 Apr 08
I agree with that they are way too young for that kind of treatment especially the youngest still in his stroller
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
22 Apr 08
There are better ways to handle things than making a child think you are leaving them. That is not right. That is only making the children scared and insecure. I do not know what I would have done if I seen her do that. I probably would have made sure that she really did not leave.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
22 Apr 08
I did stay and watchjed them walk off down the street.
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
22 Apr 08
Looks to me as though she was just following through on her warning. How are kids supposed to take their parents seriously if the parents never follow through with what they tell their kids? However being out in the street like that wasn't too smart. I have done this with my own kids, though never out in the street. I also don't go more than a few feet from them and am constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure they are okay. I would never actually walk away and leave my kids, no matter how much the drive me batty, even if it appears that I would to others. And it sounds like this mom was just doing the same thing.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
22 Apr 08
Yes i too beleive in following through , And i do understand. If you threaten you have to follow through. I just think it wasnt a great threat out in the street.
• United States
22 Apr 08
I have to admit I have used this tactic on my own children. I never go very far. My oldest is 8 has special needs and has been known to have a complete breakdowns in public on the sidewalk. In order to get through to her Sometimes it takes a drastic measure like that to get her moving especially when she refuses to listen to anything you say. I have never left my children. I also keep both them in my sight. You can't really judge. You don't live in that family. You don't know the kind of problems they may have.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
22 Apr 08
I agree with you, i dont know about their family but it just seemed like the wrong place to do that. They were very little and it was by a street
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Apr 08
I am not sure of course it did work but was she staying pretty close or not? I would be so afraid that something bad likea stranger picking up the littlest child might happen if she was not close enough. I don't think I would just awalk away and leave my children not on a public street like that where anything could happen in just seconds. I might pretend to walk away but step around a corner really close but it would have to be very close. I really don't like that idea at all.
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
22 Apr 08
as far as i could see she kept walking and didnt even turn around
@bradhart (659)
• United States
22 Apr 08
I noticed you didn't mention how far she got from them either before they were towing the line and all was right. Without that bit of information from the start the story feels fabricated which it may not be, but not including those wonderful details makes all the difference in interpreting the story and simply adding them after the fact doesn't make the story feel any more real...
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
22 Apr 08
Yes, wel we all arent perfect are we?? lol
@traengle (144)
• United States
22 Apr 08
I think that is wrong , poor kids think they are going to abandoned on the street, I wonder did she ever do this before for the 6 year old to react the way he did, it is her responsibility to get her children to behave not her 6 year old. Kids are kids they all display this type of behavior out in public some time or another but I don't think she took the right approach even if it did work for her, my God anything could happen to them kids, in todays world you have to keep a close eye on your children. I don't know what I would have done but it is terrible.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
22 Apr 08
Yes it is terrible to put that much responsibilty on one child. I dont understand it