April 22, 2008 4:09pm CST
I never knew how important being heard was to me until this past Sunday evening. Most people know that I live in a board and care for the mentally ill. Well Sunday at dinner time, one of the staff and I got into a tiff in which she started yelling at me. I finally told her that she could not yell at me and that I would report her. How did she respond to this? Well what she said is perhaps one of the worst things anyone could say to me. She said, "You have mental issues, so no one is going to listen to you." I am an advocate for the mentally ill, so I need to be heard. The problem is, this staff is new here and does not know me very well. First of all, my mental illness does not affect my intelligence at all. I have emotional issues. Second of all, that sounded very much like a challenge to me. The only problem was that there would be no way for her to win after making such a statement. I was so angry that I stormed off to my room. I was ranting and raving, and basically fit to be tied. I was venting to my roommate and she was trying to console me. That did not help. So I sat down to try to write about it on Mylot. I was too angry. Then I realized that I needed to go back up to that same staff to get my anxiety medication. I was really afraid of what she might say to me next. So I went out front to try to speak to the other staff that lives in an apartment on the side of the building, but he was not home. So I came back to my place and called 911 and asked them to come over an escort me to the office. It may seem like I was making a big deal out of nothing, but I could not get any angrier than I already was. When the police got here, they told me not to start anything with her. I said, I have no intentions of doing that. I just want to get my medicine and go. When we got up there, she was being nauseatingly nice. I got me pill and they escorted me back to my place. I sat down again and tried to write about it on Mylot, but I could'nt. So I took off up to my friends room and we ended up staying up all night talking. Every time I stayed quiet for too long, those words that she said would pop back into my head and I would be angry all over again. The next morning, I realized that there would be no way I would sleep until I let the adminstrators know my side of the story. She had already wrote down what she had to say. The social worker also asked me to write down what had happened and I did. Finally at 11:30, I got an audiance with the administrator, the assistant administrator and the accountant. I do not know why the accountant was there, but how's that for being heard? We had a meeting for an hour and I got to say everything that I needed to say. I agree to allow them to speak to her about things and give her the opportunity to mend her ways. They know good and well that I will be heard or die trying. I had a board and care closed down before because they were doing way too many things to violate state law. I know that everytime we lose a staff for any reason, everyone here suffers. But now it is really up to her whether or not she wants to keep her job. I will not be willing to sit down for a meeting next time. She will have to go. So how do you feel about being heard?
2 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 08
Wow, you are a force to be reckoned with. Being heard is one of the most important things in the world to me. That is why I write. I am shy and not always able to say what I want out loud, though I can usually get my point across when I feel it is important. But writing does help me get out a lot of what I need to say.
22 Apr 08
I am a little shy to. But my anger forces me out of my shell. I was abused as a child and didn't know how to speak up for myself. I was constantly living in fear. Even as an adult it took me a long time to start speaking up for myself. Now it is hard to get me not to speak for me or anyone else that does not have their own voice.
22 Apr 08
I don't know if I'll be able to say what i want to say in english, but I'll try. I think you handled this very well. you impressed me and touched me. I know it must have been very hard for you to be able to calmly do this. I hope she heard you. Really heard you. being heard is one of the most important things to me. I think it is a sign of respect. For instance when my man does not hear me, read me or try to understand me I feel it shows his lack of respect for me. Nothing is more important really.
22 Apr 08
I agree that it is extremely important that we be heard by the people in our lives. Whether personally or professionally. To know that we are not respected by the people in our lives can be very hurtful. But there are some people that we have to learn to deal with the best that we can.