Career of women after marriage and having children.....

@subha12 (18453)
India
April 23, 2008 5:41am CST
All the women here, i ask you whether you are going to just scarifice your career after you get married? if already married have you done so? Or after having having children it was your choice or your partner's choice that you lave the job? In case of guys do you want your wife to give up the career after marriage or having children? if yes why so? otherwise what is your opinion.
6 people like this
15 responses
• United States
23 Apr 08
I don't intend to give up anything after I'm married. I don't see why I should. And I won't be having any kids so that won't be a factor.
4 people like this
@subha12 (18453)
• India
24 Apr 08
i appreciate it.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
23 Apr 08
Hi there Subha I carried on working as I had to I will not go into details why but I worked all the way through but I was also always there for my Children
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18453)
• India
23 Apr 08
its nice to hear that you managed both very well. i like this approach towards life.
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
23 Apr 08
Thank you it was hard but it was worth it I could not ask for better Children and mine are Adults now Hugs
@plumwish07 (4060)
• Indonesia
23 Apr 08
i still have my career although i am married woman at this moment and so far my husband doesn't mind at all. and of course, after having baby later on, i will still continue my career path cause i used to work outside. i just can't stay at home and manage everything in household especially foe washing clothing and ironing it
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18453)
• India
23 Apr 08
i think women should have this attitude. their career is no less important tahn men's.
2 people like this
• Indonesia
24 Apr 08
i agree with you dear. woman's career also important as like man's career and its really need skill to handle both for woman. so i really admire woman who has good career but also good family
@crackhead (1826)
• India
23 Apr 08
I am not a woman but still felt like responding tho this discussion. I will not ask my wife to quit her job unless she feels thats its enough. There is nothing wrong in a lady working even after getting married. Who would want to sacrifice their career after marriage and having children. After all it is also part and parcel of ones life and it doesnt make any sense to quit their job just to take care of the house and children. If she wish to quit it, want to spend some time back home then i wont force her to work. I will respect her decision what ever she takes and she will have that maximum support from my side.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
24 Apr 08
i actually not only intended this to be answered by women only. i welcome your answer. i also like the attitude you are having towards your wife and her career.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56480)
• Delhi, India
24 Apr 08
It is very difficult for woman to continue her career after marriage, when she becomes a mother. Shouldering dual responsibility of a career woman and mother is an uphill task. If one is sharing both the responsibilty, assistance of partner and (if possible) in-laws is very necessary. If one has to manage the show alone, she cannot do justice to both the fronts, either her child will get neglected or her career. What do you plan to do in future???? Excellent Post!
@subha12 (18453)
• India
24 Apr 08
hmm, but i have seen many women who manage both very well. in my company only there are many women who have reached the ladder. i think its the outlook of the society that always expect the women to always sacrifice her career and identity. i never can even think of leaving the job.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56480)
• Delhi, India
24 Apr 08
I agree with you that there many career women who manage both the fronts fantastically and nicely. But in my view, they need to sacrifice a lot for managing both the fronts. However, now a days things are changing, hubbies are also cooperating in bring up children. It is good that you have decided not to leave your job, but once you get married, be prepared for the doubel responsibilties. best of luck to you. If possible, when you are married, having kids and still you are doing job, please do write to me about your new experiences in life, I would love to know your experiences.
@gabrielle47 (1221)
• Philippines
24 Apr 08
I would not sacrifice my career if I get married. It would always be nice to have your own identity and its always satisfying to have your own money and buy anything you want earned by your own effort. This is even if my husband can give me the luxury in life, I would still like to have my own career and prove what I can do. Of course this would be in balance with raising my family especially my children as it would be meaningless to have a successful career but you were not able to keep your family or marriage and raise good children. A balance is always a must. But if things is out of control, I would gladly give way to my career if my family need me more. It will always be good for husband and wife to talk about this issue as it may bring conflict in marriage later on and each should be understanding of each other's needs and feelings. « Gab »
@subha12 (18453)
• India
24 Apr 08
i completely agree with you. in no respect a woman's career is less valuable than that of a man. even in some cases the woman has much bright career than the man.
@williamjisir (22903)
• China
23 Apr 08
Hello dear subha. Well, my wife used to work with me in the same school after marriage, but now my wife is taking good care of my home, especially my son, who is in the teens for his busy study. I appreciate my wife taking good care of my family by sacrificing her time and work. My wife thinks more of the family and gave up her job at school. She is a nice wife of mine and I always appreciate her for all that she does for the family...
@subha12 (18453)
• India
24 Apr 08
its good that you appreciate. its still her choice..
1 person likes this
• India
23 Apr 08
Hmmm... well if i had a career b4 marriage, i definetely wont sacrifice it, but unfortunately, i just completed inter and i got married, so just while marriage n having a child, i completed my degree, now im in for ms and then i ll do a job.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
24 Apr 08
i think you got married too early. hope you can be established in career as well.
1 person likes this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
23 Apr 08
I was working when I got married. After 10 years of working, I decided to quit. Both choices of working and becoming a full time housewife was mine. My husband did not ask me to stay at home or to have a career. He sort of let me make all the decisions, which I consider a blessing.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
23 Apr 08
if it was your own choice then nothing can be said beyond that. differnt people have different attitude and priority.
3 people like this
@madlees (1381)
• India
25 Apr 08
Dear Subha, I was not a career girl when I got married but I was getting ready to become one. At that time I got pregnant and my preferences changed. I dropped my plans of a career and sat at home as a house wife. Now that I am free I have started on a career with my husband helping me anmd me helping him with his office work etc. I have come a full circle, my daughter is happily married and my son is planning to innthe near future. So I think I was successful all round.
• India
25 Apr 08
if i get married i would not want to sacrifice my career if it is on all time high but also i would not want to compromise on my relationship for work too.i feel it is all about how supportive your husband is and what kind of situation are you in.conversations about your career and independence must be done before to avoid any miscommunication and rifts in the relationship.but if i have just got married i would definitely leave work for sometime to look after my house and enjoy time with my husband and family.and even before when i'm planning for kids i would do the same.
@pkc3000 (1268)
• India
24 Apr 08
dear subha12 I appreciate your discussion as now a days it is very important discussion . In our society female is dominated by male counterpart as a result of which in the earlier days female were not given any importance, they were only for maintain the domestic front and children. Earlier they were being educated .But in the present era the scenario has been changed . Presently female are taking leading role in all sector right from education , army, electronics's , journalism and they are sharing all activities with male counter part. I thing female counterpart is better than male counterpart . I have seen several brilliant female who was having bright future and career left the job after marriage due to several reason dye to pressure from domestic or pressure from work what ever it may. In 90% cases it has been seen female counterpart is leaving their career on the plea that after marriage husband do not want that her wife is service holder. But I think it is foolishness as in the present situation both male & female are being treated equally. If both husband wife are service holder the economic condition will be better if economic condition improve then standard of living will improve, also children's education will improve. In every sphere your life style will be improved. Mutual understanding & trust is essential when both husband and wife are working .Presently female counterpart is better than male counterpart as they have the power of tolerance .In my opinion I never asked my wife if she is having better career to leave the job . I think it is narrow minded mentality. pkc3000
@mykmari_08 (2466)
• Philippines
24 Apr 08
I'm a married woman of almost five years now; and I've been working for more than ten years since I graduated from college. It's not my best choice though; because even when I was still in college, I already had a plan to put up my own business. Unfortunately, I lack the needed capital until now. Eventhough my husband and I prefer to have our own family business, we have no choice but to work for others or with a private company. But our plan is still there and hopefully, we'll be able to stay at home taking care of our daughter and future children while tending our family business in the very near future. I believe that God will make a way for it and will provide us with health and wealth so that our dream will become a reality.
@tammytwo (4303)
• United States
24 Apr 08
I had my first child at a very young age and spent a lot of time as a stay at home mom. I worked home daycare for a while my children were smaller. Now that they are old enough to understand that they can help a little with things around the house I do work outside the home full time.
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
24 Apr 08
I was a single parent and I gave up a lot of jobs because of baby sitting issues. Sometimes you have no choice and you just have to do it.