Do friendships change after marriage?

@ebsharer (5517)
United States
April 23, 2008 9:11am CST
Did you find that any of your friendships changed after you got married? I noticed that a lot of times when some one is in a new relationship there friendships get put aside. Then after then newness wears off or they break up, people go running back to there friendships. When my husband and I first met I tried not to put any friendships aside. Things inevitably changed because we hung out with more couples then signals. When my husband and I were doing things we together we invited couples, but very often I did things with just my girlfriends and guy friends. What are your thoughts on this? What have you seen happen to friendships or what happened to yours?
5 responses
• Argentina
23 Apr 08
Definitely and it´s unchangeable the fact that friendship changes after marriages, you don´t are supported by your parents you have to take care of yourdelf and if it´s necesary cancel programs witjh your friends because of another responsibilities painting the house, take care of children, buy things at the supermarket if it´s necesary, and a lot of things. Have a nice day ! Martín !
1 person likes this
@ebsharer (5517)
• United States
23 Apr 08
First off I see that you are new here so let me explain some thing. You only need to respond once to a discussion, you can add comments. But you don't need to give 2 different answers to the same discussion. Second if you make plans with some one you shouldn't cancel them in less its an emergency. You should never cancel plans because you decided to paint your house do it another time ... or better yet invite the friend to help.
@magrylouyu (1632)
• United States
23 Apr 08
This didnt happen to me however my friend ditched me after having my oldest daughter 2 months before my 18th birthday! Getting married the 3 people that stuck by me still havent gone no where. Unfortanally this happens too often. I have now come to say 'You know who your real friends are after someth huge happns in your life' and I will always believe that now. Out of 20 people only 3 stuck by me.
1 person likes this
@ebsharer (5517)
• United States
23 Apr 08
I was 23 and married when I had my first child. I had a friend who I had been friends with for about 5 years she was there when I got married there for all the baby shopping then I had my daughter. My daughter is 16 months now and I have seen that friend 3 times. I understand its not just a marrage that breaks up friendships its kids too.
@elisa812 (3033)
• United States
23 Apr 08
I think that my friendships did change sort of after getting married. I didn't see it as a bad change, though. I still keep in touch with my good friends and we have still gotten together to hang out occasionally, but I try to really dedicate more of my time to my husband so that we can continue to be closer and stay committed to each other. I think it is good and important to still maintain old friendships from outside the marriage as long as they are not hurting the marriage, but I think it's also important to make sure that you're not spending so much time with your other friends that you don't have enough to give to your spouse. One of the main differences for me was just that when my husband and I got really serious with each other right before we got engaged/married, he really became my new best friend, so I shared more with him than with my other friends.
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
23 Apr 08
my friendships changed some. when my husband and i were just dating we hung out with a group of friends all the time. my best friend christal being one of them. she had a boyfriend too. but when we got married it changed. i don't know what made it change. And now we have kids too. she is single. even when she is dating someone i don't see more of her. I really wish we could hang out more. I just cant get her to understand that just because i'm married and have kids doesn't mean i can't have a life. I've tried inviting her out to go to a movie just me and her, but she made excuses. I have a few married friends, but they live too far away to do anything with. I just hope that eventually my friend will want to do stuff with me again.
• Argentina
23 Apr 08
Obviusly baecause you´ve major responsibilities like the paymente of the rent or what in Argentine we call " impuestos ", and the expenses and if you´ve children you´ve to take care of them. Have a nice day ! Martín !
@ebsharer (5517)
• United States
23 Apr 08
I don't think friendships HAVE to change they just do because people change once in a relationship.