Is it moral to go through your partner's things?

I think if you feel something is going on you have a right to find out and to go through there stuff because there going to lie and thats the only way to find out. When people cheat it can kill you or give you an std for life. You have to protect yourself. When you find out you have aids your gonna wish you went through there things. Lots of people get diseases even when they are in a relationship because the other person was not true to you.

I used to be that gf. I used to sneak into his web accounts and look into his mobile phone then I will certainly be mad in case I found some "not-so-good" things and messages. He will always be mad because he is always telling me to respect his privacy. After good explanations and all, I realize that it is really not proper to look into those things because if that would happen to me, if my bf looks into my stuff - I will certainly get furious. Then I also realize that doing that will just create a problem an a non-sense issue. The things and messages I saw in his mobile phone are not that incriminating to the point that I would lose my trust and love for him, thank God. So a good explanation was then enough for me. If however, I see things that are certainly doubtful - for example I see a picture of him and a girl kissing and all - then no explanation is needed. The thing will certainly speak for itself.

Sorry to be different. I think there should be no secrets between man and wife therefore each is quite at liberty to look at the others mail, diary, email, phone, etc. etc. This business of 'my own space' I think is nonsense. That phrase means 'secrets' by definition and is just asking for trouble. 'Do your own thing' by all means but it must be completely transparent to your other half. (steps back and waits for a huge pile of words to descend on him! haha)

Yes, it is wrong in some way but I think if it happens to me and the only way to find out is to go through with his stuff then I will do it. Forgive him? It really depends if he is sincere but you know as everyone said, once the trust is broken, it is hard to get it back, it needs to be earned so it really depends on how I look him in the eyes.

i don't think its right to check on your partner's stuff, for the plain reason of privacy. but i would still do if i think or feel there is something wrong, or he's hiding something from me. remember infidelity is not privacy. about forgiving, maybe i will, but i will never forget. it will never go away even if you try.

I think it depends on what level the relationship is at, I wouldnt go through things of someone I was just dating but once youve made some serious commitment then there shouldnt be anything hidden between the two of you so I wouldnt exactly go snooping through my husbands things because I dont have a reason too but also I wouldnt think twice about reading something that I came across also I wouldnt be upset if he read something of mine because chances are no matter what he found out wouldnt be anything that I didnt already tell him

i think it is okay for my mom. i always check on her phone and she lets me do it... she does not use the other functions of her phone like camera, games etc.. just calls and sms. hehe if they wont allow, we out to give the privacy they need , though.

Well obviously she had reason to be suspicious. Normally I would say she shouldn't but I would have done the same thing in her situation. Apparently she can't trust him so he would have lied if she just asked. There is too many diseases out there now. She needs to know if he's being faithful or not. I don't know if I would get back with him or not. It would take a lot of time and proving he could be trusted.

I do not think that it is moral for one to go through one's partner's private things based on a hunch from who knows where this hunch may be from. In a relationship, trust is the most important here and I am sure that before the 2 of you actually committed yourself into this relationship I believe that you certainly have accepted the other parties qualities and short comings. Hence, it is important to learn and grow in mutual understanding and trust in each other as we increase our degree of faith and commitment with one another. If you do have a hunch and suspicions then it would be good that the both of you should sit down and speak out what is on your mind. Learn to accept that distractions and temptations are part and parcel of life and we should look out for each other to handle and face these obstacles as they present themselves in our various stages of a delicate relationship.

I think you have to remember one thing. Would you want your partner going through your things? I don't mind a lot of things but I would not want my partner to read my diary or some of my poems. Not anything recent. I do not keep a diary because it WILL get read and do not write poetry anymore because it WILL get read. It is not like I write secrets but if I am down in the dumps about things I am dwelling on that is my business. If I wanted everything that went through my head told I will tell it. Now as far as my purse I could care less and my phone who cares. I have so many customers that call and that is about all I talk to on the phone except my family. I do not feel right if I invade his privacy, unless I feel I have reason to do so. I do not mind if my partner gets pictures as long as I know about them. Now when I am not told about this I will be upset but it definately will be forgiven and swept away. We all make mistakes. We are only human. Maybe this girl gets an itemized bill and that is why she did this. Men usually do not know this if you do not tell them!

I think that if someone is doing it just because, and they are constantly insecure then yes. But if they really honestly believe something is wrong or that person is up to that person , then I dont think anything is wrong with it.

I think that you have to have trust in y our relationship and if you are spending your time looking through their stuff to find something that they are doing wrong there is no trust. But at the same time if a person feel that their partner is doing something behind their back they may not find out by asking their partner. So while searching through my husbands stuff would be my last resort I can understand why she did it.

I also agree with upstairs several friends said. Can forgive but not forget that the heart will always be a shadow.

that's really bad. both of them have false i think.. both of them should correct it once forever..

I think in a way it is wrong, but she must have had some idea that something was going on. I would do it. I would never forgive my husband if I found something like that. once the trust is broken in a relationship, it doesn't come back completely. I probably could forgive but i could never forget. and that knowledge that he did something sneaky like that would always be there, I would always be looking for signs that he was doing it again. It wouldn't be worth it to me. I want to be happy in my relationship and feel safe and secure.

if you suspect it, ask questions first and then, if there is denial, avoidance or deception, do a little snooping. just give them a chance first.

I dont agree. One reason you my find something in there that is may make you angry or upset that really is nothing and you think should I ask or just keep it to myself and not trust him/her. I think if you feel like something is going on then confront it head on. No since in going behind there back and snooping around. If you are worried about things then talk it over and Most of the time if there is nothing to hid he will give you the phone or email and say look for your self.

Hi trusko. I think that is wrong. If I think something is going on for sure I will waste the confidence in him and this way our relationship is break. I think that if you looking for you find for sure. So if I have a sure I never forgive him and our relationship is finished. In this matter I'm radical. cheers

hi trusko, it is better to ask permission, and if she/he hides nothing, an 'easy' yes should be expected but if not, something fishy is around... after, he or she is your partner, assuring no 'cheats' in between is part of the process... hate cheaters, digerati