What I am going to do

United States
April 24, 2008 12:04am CST
I am tried of feeling depressed and low and everything is my fault when it 's not. He came home last night after being with his friend all day. And started yelling and screaming at me and telling me I was no good and couldn't keep the trailer clean and I do keep the trailer clean. I mean there is only the two of us living here and it really dosen't get dirty. Well you know what I am sick and tried of it. He has been yelling at me all night to do this and get him that and throwing things at me. When he gets up in the morning I'm getting the key's to my trailer from him and telling to go live with his friend. Until he gets off of what ever he is on and changes his attuide. Because I am not putting up with it no more. I havn't done anything wrong and he not putting all his problems on me. I have had enough.
7 people like this
23 responses
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
24 Apr 08
This is a sad situation to be in, I see many married couple around me in the same situation, I guess short of sitting him down and both of you talk about it and try to bring this behaviour to an end and it doesn't work then i guess you can only think about leaving him, you must try and be happy within your life, life is way too short to be feeling the way you do...I wish you well for the future..
• United States
24 Apr 08
His friend treats his wife this way, so he thinks he can treat me the same way. His friend is controling with his wife. So he thinks he can be controling with and that just ain't happening. I can't take it and I'm not going to take it. I have been with him for over 13 years and I left him for 2 years for this reason and he said he wouldn't do it again. The first two years we were back together he wasn't talking to this friend, because they had a fight and when they started talking again my problems started back up.
2 people like this
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
24 Apr 08
Yes think of yourself, you must be happy with your life, do what you must if he won't listen to you....
2 people like this
• United States
24 Apr 08
That's exactly what I'm going to do.
25 Apr 08
Hi You really do not have to put up with this..He is married to you not his friend..If he continues to behave in this unacceptable way ,you should think about whether you would be better off living on your own..Do you have anywhere to go if you do leave,do you have enough money to manage on your own until you sort out work etc. No-one can tell you what to do in this situation,but you really do not have to put up with his Neandethal behaviour. Think about what is best for you.then stick with your decision..wishing you all the best.. lorren192
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Apr 08
He the one that got to move out, because everything is in my name here.
@getnbuy (1314)
• United States
25 Apr 08
Nobody deserves to live this way. You are living in a nightmare. Please leave this man now. Let him have the trailer and go to a women's shelter. If you wait around for him to give you the key, etc. it will just get worse. If he hurts you call the cops and have him arrested! Then get a restraining order. But, I beg you, don't lose your reslolve. Get out of this man's life!!!
1 person likes this
@getnbuy (1314)
• United States
25 Apr 08
Response to response: Mostly I speak from book smarts, but I had a friend whose husband put his fist through their door. She called the cops, had him arrested, and got a restraining order. So, I have had experience vicariously. As for the book smarts, I would recommend that everyone go through the 12 step program either with a therapist or in a group. We all need skills to cope with today's difficult life.
1 person likes this
@joespez (180)
• United States
24 Apr 08
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It certainly doesn't help your depression and self-esteem to put up with a partner who doesn't understand or support you. My advice is get free from this relationship as quyickly as you can. It is the only way you will be able to heal yourself, unless there is a RADICAL change in your partner. What do you think are the odds of that happening?
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Apr 08
I'm not going to be looking for anybody else. I am going to stay by myself.
• United States
24 Apr 08
I'm sorry that you have to go through this. But I'm glad that you want to change the situation before it gets worse. You dont ever deserve to be treated like that, even if those things were true. You will be in my thoughts and prayers!
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Apr 08
yes. All this stuff really happens.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
24 Apr 08
I'm gonna ask you again (I did in another of your threads) WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM...Seriously..I know that is a harsh question BUT dont you think you deserve to be treated MUCH better than that?! C'mon! He's treatin you like CRAP...NOBODY deserves it and HE does NOT deserve your loyalty like that...You werent put on this earth to be his verbal punching bag!! sorry if that sounds harsh or hurtful, I'm not trying to be at all..I feel for you (been there myself which is WHY I'm so intense about it...hindsight is 20/20 ya know)
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Apr 08
He is staying with a that friend right now. He has called me begging to come back. But I told him I can't take his mouth. He says he needs me. And he wants to work things out.
@wasim989 (2302)
• India
24 Apr 08
This is sad but you should take some action if the things are not improving or the situation can get worse.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Apr 08
If he dosen't get away from the friend he is hanging with things can only get worse. The only way thing can get better if he stops hanging with this friend that he is hanging with.
@tintinn (277)
7 May 08
Sorry to hear about that. Hope you don't get hurt.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 May 08
Leave and go to a woman's shelter. Theywill help you get on your feet and away from this abuse.-Yu won't have to be there too long, but while there they can help you get a job of your own, get on your feet and a new place to live! And if you want..maybe even more education so you;'ll never have to put up wiht his screaming again. Honey..you need OUT! (And if needed, they can help you get a restraigning order from the plice and help keep you safe.) When you are ready..move to a new area away form this guy and have a new adbenture! No one deserves what you are going through!
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
6 May 08
I would let him know that you will not put up with it. You do not approve of the way that his friend treats his wife, and you will not be treated that way. There is no excuse for it.
1 person likes this
@onesiobhan (1330)
• Canada
30 Apr 08
Good for you. You deserve better - nobody should be treated so disrespectfully.
1 person likes this
@rexiemay (402)
• Philippines
26 Apr 08
hi. i think that if you dont like what he is doing to you then you should stand up for yourself and tell him how much he has been hurting you. be strong and tell him that you are tired with what he is doing. it is really up to us how other people treat us. i know that you have been thorugh a lot but these things will not end if you dont end it yourself. face your fears. tell him whats on your mind.
• United States
25 Apr 08
that is a very good plan, stick your ground
1 person likes this
@Corgar (29)
25 Apr 08
you go girl!
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
25 Apr 08
Hi strawberrypurple, You appear to be in a very stressful situation, and I agree it's time for you to leave. You certainly don't have to blame it all on yourself and get depressed. Take some time to think about your life, and where you want to go from here. Blessings.
1 person likes this
• Canada
25 Apr 08
I would submit that he is not behaving this way just because of his friend - obviously his friend's behaviour just helps him to justify his own terrible behaviour. I know that the time you've spent with him probably seems like a lot of time to just walk away from, but the only thing worse than spending 13 years in a bad relationship is spending 13 years and a day. Walk away, count your blessings that you are physically unharmed and start a new life with people who value each other. It will probably take some reaching out and persistance on your part, but I know that you can do it, and find some peace and happiness. All the best!
1 person likes this
@deeeky (3668)
• Edinburgh, Scotland
25 Apr 08
We only have the one life and we have to make the best of it whilst we can. If a relationship is not working then we have to move on to someone or something else. Life has to much to give us to let it be spoilt by someone else. Have a great life from Deeeky.
1 person likes this
@cher8558 (425)
• Canada
25 Apr 08
Dear Strawpurple, You know just reading your comments, you sound like a strong willed person. You should have no problem resolving this. Tell Him, when the nights are cold go and cuddle up to your friend which he thinks is such a good guy. Good luck to you. I am going to keep checking to see what you will do. Cheryl
1 person likes this
@Cocoa33 (921)
• United States
25 Apr 08
hi. its time for you to walk away. u can do bad by yourself. u dont need anyone bringing you down. u know u have done anything wrong so dont sweat what he is saying. its time for him to go his way, and you your way. i think he is seeing someone else behind your back. when stuff like that happen, its a sign that he maybe cheating on you. if that is the case, you go find your self someone who will appreciate you and the things you do. he is verbally abusing you which is why u feel the way u do. he is treating you with disrespect. drop that zero and get yourself a hero. men like need to be left alone. hope things work out. have a good day
1 person likes this
• China
25 Apr 08
I am touched by surprise,the experience you my sympathy! Hhow long have you marry a between husband and wife should be frank ,you can try to sit down and talk about him,understood why hi is so you . If not yet ,you can try to leave a will,let both sides cool all at once. I hope you can solve the problem.
1 person likes this