Would you or have you adopted?

April 24, 2008 3:58pm CST
Ok this is the situation, I've got a 4 year old who I adore but I feel he should have another little friend and would like to have another baby . .well sort of, anyway my hubby says no, he is older and says he wouldn't be able to cope, fair enough he is being honest and suffers with his health but we have spoken about adoption and he said yes but not an baby, fair enough as I'd want to adopt a 3 year old or around that age as it takes a while to go through it all. What I want to know is would you adopt or have you adopted, if you have what age child and how was it. Oh I said sort of to having another baby as I still remember my labour and ideally want a child when they start to do stuff, does that sound selfish or strange?
2 people like this
11 responses
@jesbellaine (4157)
• Philippines
25 Apr 08
Yes, I would like to adopt a baby if we can't have our own. There are lots of babies that needs care and love so I am willing to adopt one as long as my partner agrees in doing it. I want to give a baby a happy and decent home on where the baby can have both parents love her/him.
25 Apr 08
I think thats lovely, the main thing kids need is love in my opinion! Good luck
• Philippines
26 Apr 08
Yes, you are right. All they need is love. :)
• United States
25 Apr 08
hello, my name is terry, and my wife and i, we are a gay couple, want to adopt or foster, we are actually in the process of being invetigated shall we say, lol, understandably so, but i dont think it would work if one of us wasnt in it 100%. not you per say but women in general seem to think, not all women i might add, that once the child arrives the spouse will "change", i think its a big risk to take when it involves a child. my wife and i are overjoyed to be doing this, artificial insemination is very exspensive so we cant have our own child right now, so fostering is well worth the everything we have to go through to make this happen, i wish you the best in this process!
25 Apr 08
Yes I know it can be expensive I know people who are going through it and so heart breaking when it doesn't work. I wish you all the luck in the world. We have spoken about it and have even talked to my parents about it. It is a big risk but I think if you really work hard together then it can and will work. Thank you so much for your comments once again good luck, let me know how you get on further down the line!
• United States
25 Apr 08
If it's not 100% supported by your husband it's a bad choice to do it anyways. If you need to get the child with others simply sign up for some art classes or a part time preschool, church groups, etc. and socialize him more.
25 Apr 08
Oh it is 100% sipported by my hubby and my child goes to school and clubs so its not just the socializing, I've got a sister and don't want my child to be an only child and I feel we could give a child who has had a bad start a good caring loving home.
@djmarion (4901)
• Philippines
25 Apr 08
its nice to adopt a baby, the nursing and feeding for that little bindle of joy is a magical feeling, its a great joy to experience holding his little body in your arms, if i will adopt i will definitely adopt a baby or at least before he/she reach the age of 1. that way i can see him/her grow the way i wanted him to and teach him/her the path that could direct his/her life.
25 Apr 08
Yes I can understand where you are coming from it was amazing watching my son take his first steps, say his first words etc.
@KissThis (3006)
• United States
25 Apr 08
I am the adoptive mother of two wonderful boys. The are birth brothers. The older of the came to live with me when he was about thirteen months old. I was his foster mother till I finally adopted him when he was five and a half years old. The younger one came to live with me when he was about thirty four months old. The younger one had lived with his other foster parents since he was about four months old but a month before their adoption became finally they decided that he caused too much "stress" in their lives. I wish someone had told his other foster parents that children are toys to play with only when it is convenient. I believe that adopting a child is a wonderful experience but when you are considering to adopt a child please remember that some children have emotional scars. My sons have some issues either from their birth parents or from what previous foster parents have caused. There are some days that are real a challenge but the good days out weigh the bad by far.
25 Apr 08
Thank you so much for responding, people like you make me more determined as I know I could bring happiness to them and to have a larger family would be lovely, I like to help people and feel this would be right. I understand they will obviously have problems but that is why I would like to adopt young children ideally. Children are for life and I adore my son but would love to have a bigger family.
1 person likes this
@Bijou1 (160)
• Australia
25 Apr 08
I would like to adopt. I want my son to have a play mate also and i want more children but never want to give birth again. It would depend on the child and the country that they came from but i would like a pre school aged child. If they came from a non english speaking country, i would like them younger, so that they could learn english before they started school.
25 Apr 08
I would like a child from this country rather than another not that I've got anything againstother countries but yes I agree about the age.
@jennawash (163)
• United States
24 Apr 08
I am a foster parent and in the process of adopting a child. She is younger and we already have a bio 7, 5, and 2 year old. It's a long process, but definitely worth it. I have had friends adopt older children and it's been a good experience overall, Just remember that if adopting an older child you will have to deal with bonding and trust issues. That can be a long difficult road and I would definitely seek out support of some type during that time. Although infants are difficult you will be dealing with some major coping issues with an older child that may bring strain into your family if you are not prepared for the transition period which can take up to a year. I am an adopted child myself and deal with abandonment issues still to this day. It's easy to say that I had a good life with my adoptive family, but it's difficult to understand why your own parent's "didn't want you" Even though I know there were other issues and it was an unselfish act on my birth mother, it's still hard. Know that you will also need to be ready to face the time they may want to meet bio family, which is another emotional roller coaster. I think adoption is a wonderful thing, but I also know both sides of it so I am able to go into it with eyes WIDE open. If you have any other questions feel free to PM me anytime!!
24 Apr 08
Thank you so much for responding, you've made it seem more real somehow, maybe that sounds strange but its true its been a thought for a while now but reading your response has made it more real and I feel I want to find out more! I~'ll def contact you if I want more info, thanks again x
@vijigopi (991)
• United States
24 Apr 08
I've always wanted to adopt. In fact, before our marriage, my husband and I had plans to adopt atleast one child. But it didn't happen because our relatives said it would be problematic. Besides, we were capable of having our own kids. So, now we decided we would atleast sponsor a child if we can't adopt one . Anyway, if we had gone for adoption, I guess I would have adopted a child about 6 months of age or younger because I would have wanted to feel like they were my own flesh and blood. Secondly, I love babies that have not yet started teething... their toothless smile is something I cherish for a lifetime. .
24 Apr 08
You are so rght about their smile I remember my dad saying my son looked like my great aunt when he was a baby as neither of them had teeth lol!
@jhl930 (3605)
• United States
24 Apr 08
i think that i would defiently try and adopt if i couldn't have a child or something like that because just because it isn't blood doesn't mean you should treat it a certain way or not...i mean its still going to love you like your their own parents and chances are if you are adopting them they haven't had the best life so far and that isn't good and they will thank you later if you give them a better life...
24 Apr 08
Yeah I agree, a friend of mine at school was adopted and she was loved loads! Thank you
• United States
26 Apr 08
I have talked to my husband about weather or not we would want to adopt in the future. I want to adopt because there are so many children who need homes and no one wants to adopt them because they want babies or children from other countries. My husband on the other hand thinks adoption is great and its a good thing to do but we shouldn't do it, he doesn't think he would love the child as much as he loves the ones born by us and doesn't think it would be fair to the adopted child. He doesn't want to put a child through that, so he just would rather not adopt at all.
• United States
25 Apr 08
I have never adopted a child, but have considered it several times. If my husband and I was financially able to we would. I think it's great that you are wanting to adopt a child. There are so many kids out there that have no family and would love to have a mommy and daddy. Good luck to you both!