Kids and Disapline

I read this last night and honestly couldn't respond I was so upset. I thought about your post all night and actually looked through 110 pages to find it today so I could reply. I understand what you are saying when you say you're only 21 and having no children of your own do not know about them, but if you are going to be responsible for them, perhaps it would be a good idea to learn. First of all, children ARE NOT LITTLE ADULTS - their brains are not as developed as yours is, and they do not understand things the way you do. First of all, the 7 mo. old - you are not going to be able to teach a 7 mo. old patience. Their brains are not developed enough until they are about 7 years old to even understand that. All he knows is one of his basic needs is not being met (food) and the only way he can communicate that is by crying. He doesn't understand the bottle is clogged - he just knows he's hungry and can't get food. Please do not withhold the bottle to "teach him a lesson" all that you are doing is teaching him he can not trust you to provide the most basic necessities. Now - the 2 year old. At ages 2 and 3, children are developing the skills that will take them from being a helpless infant to a child with the ability to do things on their own. They are trying to develop a little bit of independence (think of this as good practice for when they are teenagers). Because of this, their favorite words are "No", "I don't want to", "I can do it myself", etc. What you are seeing as "being mouthy" is a normal part of the development process and if you prevent that growth, you will damage the child permanently. DO NOT battle with the child, it is not about you, it is about their own need to gain control over their life. It is very simple to handle, give them a choice, instead of an order. For example instead of saying "Put on your shoes", say "Do you want to go potty first or do you want to put on your shoes first". This allows them to feel in control and completely ends any battles. Explaining things to him in complicated terms is not going to work - he has not yet developed formal logic and will not for at least 5 more years. Please, please, please, I am begging you - for the sake of these children and any future children you may have, go to the bookstore or library or something and pick up a book that explains developmental stages that children go through. Withholding a bottle to teach a 7 month old a lesson really borders on mental and emotional abuse. And do not confuse discipline with punishment.

I have 5 children of my own, ages 10, 5, 5, almost 2 and 3 months. First of all, children at ages 2 and 7 months do not understand discipline. A 7 month old has no concept of discipline what so ever! A 2 yr old is only just learning to understand concequences. Ignoring you is just what they do. Their brains can't always comprehend what you are saying. They only understand certain words, not whole sentances. Children at those ages do not misbehave, and do not need discipline. They are only acting like children of that age. They need to be taught, not disciplined. And, as a babysitter, it is really not your job to discipline children that are not your own without discussing it with the parents first. Perhaps they have certain rules they want you to follow. I don't know you, and there for cannot judge you, but from the sounds of your post, I believe your sister in law should find a different babysitter until you are more familiar with children.

Well I have alwasy used time outs and a rewards system. We use our bottom step and then they get timed by age. There are times when they sit there for 15 20 minutes until the understand that they do have to take their punishment. After time out is over, they have to talk about why they were in time out, and apologize. As for the seven month old, that's definitly your issue, if he cried when the bottle gets clogged, unclog it, if it's happening all the time, get another bottle with a faster flow nipple, that could also be the issue.

I have that problem with my seven month old. she gets so mad when the bottle gets clogged. its very frustrating I just try to put up with it. I try to not let her get to hungry and then I dont really have that problem. If she starts to get over hungry thats when its extra hard to calm her down..