Are you willing to give way to her??

@ozzeth (942)
Philippines
April 25, 2008 2:19am CST
I think this is the most creepy thought that i am thinking right now... You have a boyfriend your boyfriend loves you. Your friend admitted and confessing to you that she love your boyfriend. But one thing is your friend didn't knew that guy is your boyfriend. A secret boyfriend...It's a secret because you are not ready to reveal it into your family. And your friend is just like a part of your family. She is not only your friend but she is your bestfriend. One day your bestfriend asked a favor from you. She want you to set up a date to the guy. What will you do? And it seems your bestfriend madly, obsessively and dying in love with him..Are you willing to give way????? To sacrifice for her??? Or you will tell her about the truth and willing to take risk whatever your bestfriend will decide to do after..
3 people like this
16 responses
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
28 Apr 08
Hello. I am here to answer this discussion, but I have to turn the story and the her is a he, right? LOL. Okay here I go. If my best friend has the "heart" for my secret girlfriend, then I would have to ask myself whether my relationship is more important than my friendship with my best friend. Whoever matters the most is the one which my heart would go for. Not that I would make away with the one that does not matters most to me, but I would have to make the choice be it whether I like it or not. If I love my relationship and would want to savor it, I just have to face the music and tell my best friend whether he likes it or not. And if my friendship is more important and I'm willing to sacrifice my "love" for my best friend, then I would request for a break up. Anyway, in this case, I would rather break my friend's heart and tell him the truth. That's because even if I give way to him, it doesn't have to be that my current girlfriend is "into" him and in that way, I would have broken the heart of 2 people because my girlfriend would not have been able to accept him since she is already in love with me. And my best friend would suffer too, in this story. So, I shall hold on to my reins and tell him the gentleman's way that that lady is mine. If he values our friendship, then he would remain as my best friend. If not, then I'll know what type of person he is then.
2 people like this
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
28 Apr 08
Oh, great! Very well said Mr. shrink! Very smart answer!
2 people like this
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
28 Apr 08
As always,
2 people like this
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
4 May 08
Thanks so much sweetie for the BR....
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
1 May 08
I wouldn't take either of those choices. First, I would have a word with my boyfriend; then I would tell my best friend that I wasn't prepared to ask on her behalf. If she likes him that much, she should approach him herself. I would tell my boyfriend that my best friend really liked him, and has asked you to do this favour, but that I didn't want to lose him, so I was going to answer "no" to my best friend. If you go trying to set him up with her, and he decides to try her out... how will you feel? I know I'd be very hurt. Brightest Blessings.
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
2 May 08
yeah, you probably right darkwing..No way for her and must tell the truth.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
2 May 08
The thing is, with nobody knowing you two are an "item", you don't have too much security. If your boyfriend is faithful to you, then he will appear as a "free" man, and you could have the problem of other women/girls trying to get his attentions. The day might come when he is no longer able to resist and you've lost your boyfriend. Sounds harsh, I know, but it's fact. If you come out into the open about your relationship, be honest with your family and your friends, then everybody will be more likely to respect your feelings for each other, and if they're friends, or family, you won't have the same problems I mentioned before. You also won't have the heartache of friends asking you to introduce them to your boyfriend. Get my drift? I hope this all gets sorted for you, my friend. It's much easier to talk about your relationship than to keep it inside and hide it. Take care, and have a great day. xx
1 person likes this
• India
28 Apr 08
hey how about the idea of setting up the date with your best freind and boyfreind to know the that whether your boyfreind is loyal with u or not? its just an idea. my opinion is that you should not sacrifice your loveand tell the truth to your best freind.
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
30 Apr 08
Well, on that way you can also test how your boyfriend loyal and loves you sincerely. Yeah, its a good idea too. But, for me better to face and tell the truth to your bestfriend whatever it takes. And your boyfriend should with you while you telling her.
1 person likes this
• India
30 Apr 08
well said! I agree with u. ya that is one of the right way to solve the problem.
2 people like this
• China
28 Apr 08
I will not give up.Love is not a thing which can send to others.And Love itself is meant selfish.We love each other,and I also like my friend.But Owing to save friendship and give up love.It is not a fair thing to my boyfriend.For love is not my own affair and should feel my boyfriend's feeling. If I am in this situation I should tell her the truth.If she did not accept this and be hatred of me that means she did not regard me as her friend. And I do not think that is my fault.
2 people like this
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
1 May 08
You have a point there jeanie! So, i guess better to tell the truth while the friend do not found about it yet. To avoid in making it worst.
1 person likes this
• China
4 May 08
yep,earlier you tell her the truth easier for her to realise the truth. So you should give her the time to accept the truth.LOL may you lucky.
28 Apr 08
Tell her the truth, it's the best thing. The longer the situation is left, then the worse it will be.
2 people like this
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
29 Apr 08
yeah, i agree with you recycledgoth!
1 person likes this
@rhane7315 (5673)
• Philippines
25 Apr 08
i know that she's my best friend but i won't give a damn by setting up a date with her and my bf. i would tell her about that secret even if it hurts her. call me selfish but i'm also thinking of my own happiness in life and i know where i could put my boundaries for her as a best friend. i'm the kind of person who will fight for the one i love and i'm so sick and tired of sacrificing all the things for her. amen. haha just my thoughts peace
1 person likes this
@emjay9 (249)
• Philippines
25 Apr 08
amen to that! it's not selfishness. i agree with you. you should understand that there are still boundaries even though your the best buds and that sometimes you got to pursue your own happiness ;)
1 person likes this
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
25 Apr 08
Wow! what a tough answer you have rhane! . A very strong woman who will fight her love and willing to take risk the friendship! hahaha.
@rhane7315 (5673)
• Philippines
26 Apr 08
haha lol it's because i'm sailor moon kidding. i'm kinda war freak when it comes on that situation
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
26 Apr 08
oh my this is a tough situation. I will talk with my boyfriend about this too. i think my friend does need to know about it too and i will ask her for forgiveness that i did not tell her about it before she will or might be angry at me, but i will take that risk.
1 person likes this
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
28 Apr 08
truth! truth! truth! can really make us free! Good decision.
• United States
25 Apr 08
Well for one things, I think if you can't tell your friends and family that you are dating someone, then there is something wrong with that situation. However, if it is a good healthy relationship, then there is no reason you set your friend up with the guy. But a truly healthy relationship should not go hidden.
1 person likes this
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
26 Apr 08
to reveal the truth! is the best way to do.
@emjay9 (249)
• Philippines
25 Apr 08
goodness!that's some difficult thing to think about. i understand why someone would keep a relationship a secret. i have a friend that did that for the same reason, that they are not ready yet to let people know. so to answer the question, first you must be sure that the boyfriend doesn't have feelings for the best friend. i think the girlfriend have to talk this over to the boyfriend first. tell him about the best friend and ask him what he feels about it. if he really loves his girlfriend, he'll stick to her. if not, be ready to get your heart broken, set him free, and let them be happy (being in a one sided relationship isn't the best option) have a talk with the boyfriend. ask him what's the best thing to do: are they ready to tell to everyone about the relationship or are you just going to tell the best friend. if you choose to just tell the best friend, i think the boy and the girl should both talk to her and explain the situation. i don't think that this is the moment to be little miss sacrificial lamb. even though you're the bestest best friends ever in the whole world, it's not right to give up true love for her. they will not be happy if you try to bridge them together because you know for a fact who the guy loves. Finally, if she's a friend she'll understand that you're the one the guy loves. she might be mad at first and feel betrayed but as the saying goes, time heals all wounds. she'll forget about it eventually and she'll find the right person she deserves ;)
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
25 Apr 08
ahmm??? .hehehhe VERY WELL SAID Emjay!
@xtedaxcvg (3190)
• Philippines
25 Apr 08
I guess you should tell your friend the truth. It'll be difficult and painful at first but it's for the best. Also, if she really is your friend she would understand the situation. Just my opinion.. Peace.
1 person likes this
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
25 Apr 08
you have the point xtedaxcvg! It's the right thing to do.
@sharay (2776)
• India
25 Apr 08
if mine is a one-sided love, i wud deftnly help her with her love..but since my boyfriend also loves me a lot, i wud not like to sacrifie both our love for her sake instead i wud explain her all about our relation and being my best friend, i am very sure she deftnly will understand
1 person likes this
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
25 Apr 08
You didn't told her about your boyfriend..and she's your bestfriend. So, on bestfriend part its a little bit unfair. Better to tell the truth before it will get worst.
• Indonesia
25 Apr 08
I don't have situation like this before but i will try to answer you. I think i will tell her the truth,i will take the risk. you know the truth is truth even in the end it's taste bitter. I will explain her. She may be angry or even leave me now. But there is also chance that in the future she will understand because she is my best friend. Because the bond of friendship i strong. Love can be fade away but friendship can't, that is i believe. If i don't tell her the truth, this will be more difficult. It will hurt to me, also hurt my friend and in the end it will hurt the friendship. If it's happen than the friendship is no longer exist. Only fake that exist and it will ruin everything.
1 person likes this
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
25 Apr 08
yeah, truth can set us free. Free from troubles, Free from the from dark thougths, free from heavy things that we carry from our heath, free from confusions and doubtiness. So, better to tell the truth.
@agfarm (930)
• United States
17 May 08
Fortunately....I have never been in a Situation such as this , But my thoughts would be Definately tell the truth! To All involved! Let the CArds Fall where they May. If they are truly friends they will fight to work through it! Where are my Boxing Gloves Da*&%! It's go time!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164448)
• Garden Grove, California
1 May 08
no its best to tell your friend that the twoof you love each other so she will not be heart. she mayh be your best friend but if she really is she will realize after you are honest with her that she cannot butt in and take your boyfriend over as the two of you love each other but have not yet told your family. if she gets mad then shes not your best friend for best friends care for and respect each other. honesty is always the best policy.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
25 Apr 08
its really a hard siuation. i think it is tough. before that i have to admit to her taht i am already with that guy. i do not know whether nowadys people make such big sacrifices.
1 person likes this
@teena22 (422)
• Italy
20 May 08
it's a hard decision. but i still go for honesty. i'll be honest to her that he is my bf..then i will see how she reacts.