"Adult" children

@Amberina (1542)
United States
April 27, 2008 8:28pm CST
The reason I put that in "" was because I don't think my son is being very "adult" even though he is 21 years old. He got all offended when I was asking questions about his online girlfriend, he wants to bring her and himself to come an stay with me until they find a place of their own. She is from the East coast, never been to the West coast or for that matter that far away from her mother who by the way doesn't know she is even coming out here. My concern was since they met online and have not been face to face is he really sure she is 18 years old? Also what if she is just using him for money and a ticket out here or out of her mother's house? I had a lot more questions for him but he just gets mad at me and tells me to *(&% off and stay out of his life. Well first of all if they are going to be staying with me rent free like he wishes I want to know all those things and more before someone moves into this house that me and my husband pay for each month. I have a right know if there is an underage runaway coming to live with me. Which he knows I would say NO to, I'm just hurt and angry at him at the same time. I was wondering if anyone else has any stories about their "adult" children they would like to share? I know things will smooth out over time and as soon as the relationship doesn't work out I will probably hear from my son once more, until another girl comes around...I guess that's part of growing up for both of us. Thanks ahead of time.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@AmbiePam (46228)
• United States
28 Apr 08
Wow, that was uncalled for. You'd be crazy not to have questions, and I would have hoped your son would understand that. Twenty-one is 21, so I know there is still a lot of growing up to do. Heck, I'm 27 and I still have growing up to do. : ) I would hope he realized he is pretty lucky for you to even consider the proposition. And if she isn't any good for him than I hope he finds that out before she does any damage to him or you.
@Amberina (1542)
• United States
28 Apr 08
Thank you for your kind words, I'm glad someone understands me lol being a mother is hard work it's certainly not for whimps. I thought once they grew up and got out on their own things would be easier LOL so much for that they just make me worry more....lol.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (46228)
• United States
28 Apr 08
I am so very conscious that the way I live my life still affects my parents. Of course no one can live my life but me, but I have to say the thing that hurts me the most, is when someone hurts my mother. And if that person is me, then it just kills me. It's a good incentive for me because I never want to be the one who causes the pain.
@bunnybon7 (33113)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Aug 09
oh yes i think some of us are just to easy with our kids these days. all 5 of mine did crazy things/unadult things like that until they were well into their 30's my mom would have never stood for a lot they pulled on me and often stepped in and gave them what for for me
@williamjisir (22909)
• China
25 Jun 09
Hello Amberina. I think that you are right to ask about this since your child was going to take his online girlfriend in to live with you. I think that any parent will not stand by with this. It is now a year since this discussion was posted. How did you get it fixed? I hope that you managed it properly with good luck, friend.
@ronaldinu (12454)
• Malta
27 Sep 08
I find your worries as reasonable. You are a loving mum who is genuinely worried about her son's decision. I think you have a right to enquire about his girlfriend especially since she is moving into your house. I would have your same worries. Perhaps a meeting with her family first would answer lots of your questions.