is it scary to get married even at the right age?

April 28, 2008 11:43am CST
i have friends around me who came from broken families and even with their present married life, it's still chaotic..in a sense that they have a common denominator..guys cheat..even how good they were at the beginning, in the later part,they still cheat..they have children though but doesn't see the importance of an intact family..i come from an intact family (thank GOD) that's why i fear that i might be in the future a victim like my friends..i may trust my partner yet i can't trust the environment... do you really think it's scary to get married even at the right age?
2 people like this
9 responses
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
29 Apr 08
You have your own path. Never ever reflect on other's life on yourself. The more you bring the picture, your decision making will be influenced by it. The more it'll be happened in your life. Be an optimist one and you know you can do it, no matter how hard or smooth it is. It's your life. Learn from the failed one, why they fall in such condition. Take the positive side from their experience. You'll need to reflect from those who'd a successful marriage too if you reflect from the failed one. Reflecting on side only will influence on your path too. Marriage is not the worst nightmare, if you don't bring the bad thought in the way.
@tuhpaul (475)
• India
29 Apr 08
I fully agree with you.
• Philippines
30 Apr 08
I think marriage will always give you the creeps. Its because its a big choice that'll change your life and your partner's life forever. If you fear ending up divorced, i think that will all boil down to you and your partner's decisions. I mean if you decide to marry someone, you should be ready to fight for the marriage no matter what.
@mykmari_08 (2466)
• Philippines
30 Apr 08
No matter what age you decide to tie the knot, I believe it is still scary to do so because one is never sure of what life has to offer him/her and his/her partner. There are so many factors which influence or ensure a happy marriage and I believe these are really important in a relationship. Everyone knows that many married couples fight because of finances. Newly married couples may not experience this yet but when bills are left unpaid and overdue, and problems arise because of short funds; this is one of the tests their marriage has to undergo. Another is their maturity on living as one. A particular issue is having other people in their lives, miscommunication, personal grievances regarding the marriage and his or her partner. It is best to really know yourself and your lifetime-partner-to-be before plunging in a sacred union called marriage.
• United States
29 Apr 08
It definitely should give us a fright. Marriage is a life-defining decision. It is not like picking a dress or choosing what to take for dinner thing. For most people, it represents one of the high moments of life, and a moment to always look back - either with much delight, or with a little regret. Anyway, I think a good sign that we are in fact serious in going into marriage is the fact that we tremble a bit about the enormity of the choice that we are about to make. It goes as well for marriage. Mature people do not take it lightly. It concerns life chaging decision that will affect the kind of life one has to take forever. Whether it would work out or not is surely in our hands to consider. But the point is, a good mariage starts by a serious consideration of the responsibilities inherent in the relationship of the couple and the possibility of raising up children. That alone should make us scared in many respects.
@djmarion (4901)
• Philippines
29 Apr 08
marriage is no joke, it is really a gamble. when we choose to get married we choose to have someone to share our hopes and fear and of course joy and pain, i don't think we should be scared. all relationships have ups and downs and pain is a part of life.
@tammytwo (4303)
• United States
29 Apr 08
Any big change in life is scary. However marriage is even more scary because it is supposed to be forever. Although many marriages end in divorce today, at one time being married really was for life. I married young and have been with the same man since I was just 14 1/2 so I can't really say if it is easier as you get older.
• Australia
29 Apr 08
I personally have no intention of getting married, as I believe that with the world as it is today, marriages just can't survive. From childhood until now, I've only known of one couple who has stayed together, and that is my best friends' parents. Everyone else I know comes from families that have been through divorce, including my own. People cheat, people grow apart, people fall out of love. Telling someone that you want to spend 'forever' with them is a lot longer now than in previous times, when the average lifespan was 35 - 40 years. For most people, spending 50 or so years with the same person just isn't possible.
@Gesusdid (1681)
• United States
28 Apr 08
yeah but thats common to have cold feet about it , like right now i can say ill marry the girl that im seeing right now , but sometimes i always think of " Ohh wow i have raise children and be the number one father in their life" and all sorts of other things its crazy ...some women cheat just as some men do..but at the end of the day you have to have trust in the relationship period ..without that its nothing
• United States
28 Apr 08
I came from a broken home and I insisted that I was never getting married. I finally did at the age of 30. I believe people rush into marriage too fast. They don't take the time to really get to know the other person. Find out about the other person and their past relationships. If they are honest and open about their past, this could lead to a good marriage. I was very scared to get married even though I knew this was the person for me. I am glad I waited to get married. I trust my husband 100%. I know he would never cheat on me. P.S. Environment has nothing to do with cheating. If a person is a "cheater", it has nothing to do with the environment and everything to do with the person and their insecurities. Marriage can be wonderful!