Do you criticize people when you respond to discussions?

@icyorchid (2564)
United States
April 29, 2008 6:18pm CST
The reason I am asking is because I have written discussions on what has been happening in my life lately and someone responded to one and criticized me! I love the support and responses I have received, but I don't appreciate reading a response from someone who I have never received a response from and has not followed my story from last Sunday night. So my question is if you don't know the whole story, do you respond? Do you critize them? What do you do? I can tell you I try to be helpful. If I don't know the whole story I don't respond to the discussion.
15 people like this
47 responses
@wickedangel (1636)
• Dominican Republic
30 Apr 08
Oh icy, I am so sorry to hear that - you really don't need that sort of response, well no one does really but especially if you are going through hard times..... I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. If they haven't got the whole story because they haven't read your previous discussions then just ignore it if you can. They could be having a bad day too and have just taken it out on you, unfortunately. Some people do that. I try never to do that. I think that if someone is brave enough to tell me their story then the least I can do is try and give them some support. Others see it in a different light, perhaps you looking for pity or something similar. Let it go over your head and just remember who it was, and see if the next time they discuss something similar remind them what they said to you but in a nice way and try and give them support - saying this is how I would have liked you to have responded to me ... blah, blah. That's me and my thoughts. Like you, if I'm not sure then I don't respond either. Big hugs and don't worry about it, you have lots of friends here who do support you!
• Romania
30 Apr 08
i hate them alot....when they are spamming in my topic....some times i make report to the admin........report them when are making spam..only for making moneys,or reputations!!
@icyorchid (2564)
• United States
30 Apr 08
Thank you Angel, I think I will do just that I was just surprised to read that response. lol This is a person who is new, must be they only had a 20 by their name. I am over it today :) I need to do things today, not worried about payout, I know I have made it.
@manu619 (451)
• India
30 Apr 08
No i wont.. Because itz just showing lack of respect to other mylotters..Ok we can criticize if and only if we have a strong point to oppose and the other guy is responding wrongly.....
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Apr 08
but thats just the point who is to say who is responding wrongly if the response is merely an opinion opposite of yours. the way I read it in discussions we all bring opposing views and that means each of us has a right to our own views and if I give an opinion that is opposite of yours that does not mean I am responding wrongly and deserve to be critized or minused in any way. you respect my viewpoint and I will respect your viewpoint.
@Sir_bobby88 (8245)
• Singapore
30 Apr 08
Well normally i won't unless i am offended somehow by the discussion or the person trying play a prank on me yea .
2 people like this
@jhl930 (3605)
• United States
29 Apr 08
i don't think that people should criticize you for what you are doing or something like that i mean you are suppose to try and help people not try and hurt people by saying something bad about them or something like that....if you don't like the person or what they are doing i don't think that you should respond to their discussion...thats just my opinion though
@kianli (546)
• China
29 Apr 08
Well, i don't think it's good to criticize others when responding. Maybe there're disagreements but we should have it in a friendly way, that's what i have in my mind. Nobody wants begin a day with others' criticizes, right? It gonna mess you up! Last time i found a post and the writer holds extreme opinion towards my motherland.I'm angry but i just say have you ever been there and please do some researches before you say so, and then i changed my avatar. Just have a nice day! :-)
• United States
29 Apr 08
i try not to i believe that everyone has their own views on things and i respect that and hope that they respect the i have my views and sometimes they dont match but thats what makes us who we are. if it is a topic that i have nothing constructive to add to without being completley negative then i just wont respond
2 people like this
@febinsoft (213)
• India
29 Apr 08
I don't criticize. But i see some people scamming in mylot that time i will scold them. Mylot can be a leading community if scamming is out of mylot.
1 person likes this
@icyorchid (2564)
• United States
30 Apr 08
I agree we all have the right to write our opinions. I would never critize someone on here. Especially if I didn't know the whole story
@blindolf (15)
• Philippines
30 Apr 08
it really depends on the kind of discussion. I normally criticize stupid answers from people who are not using their heads and narrow minded
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
30 Apr 08
I have tried responding on some post which are a follow up of their previous post but I make it a point not to criticize, I have to limit my opinion to what was being posted! I also don't like to be criticized, I am very sensitive even if this is just a site and we don't know each other, I guess everyone deserves to be respected! I hope that person icyorchid will learn a lesson and will be considerate enough next time!
1 person likes this
@mychattime (1013)
30 Apr 08
I think that there are several ways of being critical to people, I'm not very diplomatic so wouldn't criticise unnecessary, I don't think people have the right to be out right nasty, I had a response ages ago which made me mad because is was a bit of a dig well thats how it came accross so I know how you feel. I feel they should have followed your story from the beginning, don't take it to heart with every criticism there is plenty of support and they are the ones you've got to take notice of!
1 person likes this
@mskzalameda (4036)
• Philippines
30 Apr 08
I am a type of person who views different angles, knowing what the "real" issue is, analyze the situation and then get to know more about the person. I really hate judging people by the surface they are showing. The mere fact that that person criticized you is telling my sense that he/she really don't know what the real story is. But in case your discussion is a volume 1, 2 and so on.. maybe a little opinion of that person won't hurt because he/she don't know the whole story. He just gave his/her own view about the article presented and maybe it's not his/her problem also if he/she did not read your previous discussion that clarifies the story because he might think that each topic is not connected from each other because it may seem to be a blog rather than a discussion. The best way here is to weigh the options and place yourself in other's shoes also. In that way, you will also feel what the author is telling. Have a good day! :)
@lexus54 (3576)
• Singapore
30 Apr 08
I've never resorted to criticism here, and neither would I enjoy it if someone were to criticize my view on something. Granted that different people have differing viewpoints, each is entitled to express his or her own thinking about something, and others should respect the different viewpoints expressed. To criticize someone is really not according due respect, and in a way the people criticizing is insinuating that others should subscribe to their viewpoint as the right one. Sometimes, we don't know the whole story or circumstances for the differing view, so criticizing can make us look vulnerable and open to counter-criticism. It's better to avoid it altogether, I feel and be at peace with everyone here. We can disagree on something, but we can also do it in an adult, civilized and dignified way that does not make the other person feel insulted. While I don't criticize, I've ever chided or rebuked someone, but in a somewhat lighthearted manner. There was once this guy who admitted that he did a bad and mean thing to someone during his college days, and so I rebuked him for his action but also praised him for admitting to it when he could have kept mum over it. I was harsh but he took it positively.
1 person likes this
@gerald_lian (2193)
• Australia
30 Apr 08
I will definitely not criticize anyone when I respond to discussions. I recognize that we are unique individuals and we have our own opinions and ways of thoughts, and it would be good to listen to others' points of views once in a while and try to figure out how they came to that position or stand from their perspective. I think the person who criticized you should really take a look at him or herself, and ask him or herself who is he or she to judge someone else and say bad things to others? Who knows, you might be much wiser or much more experienced than him in life while he or she might not know anything at all. If you ever encounter these people on mylot again, I encourage you to just ignore the message and go as far away as possible from that person. You can even go so far as to put a strike on that person and never deal with any replies or discussions made by that person (I find this useful, because I myself have done this to people who have criticized me on mylot before). Anyway, the bottom line is, don't get discouraged by these type of people and continue to post on mylot just like you are doing now. I am sure more people find your posts useful and interesting than people who find it otherwise. Stay positive and optimistic ya!
1 person likes this
@anex08 (868)
• Philippines
30 Apr 08
there are two kinds of criticism: one is healthy criricism - wherein from the opinion of others you will learn out of it, its not fully disgusting words but encouraging words that expresses thoughts about what you've done is wrong then followed by sort of advices that sets you to start again. Unhealthy criticism - is what we call " hell words " in this way, people tend to criticize to hurt feelings,to discourage dreams and with intention to ruin life of others. As we all know, we cannot please everybody and since everyone has a freedom to express their thoughts, then let it be. Learn from any mistake you make and move on. sometimes unhealthy criticism can help you enhance your life's vision if you're open enough to accept the truth.
@gkthegr8 (164)
• India
30 Apr 08
Ever since I was criticized myself, I do not do it to others as I know that it hurts..
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Apr 08
I'm sorry this happened to you. No, I don't do that to people I don't know. It's easy to say mean things to people you don't know. I bet in real life she/he would have been nice to you. People can be really dumb and not think about people's feelings on the internet.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
30 Apr 08
No, I do not criticise anyone in any discussion. I always try to remain positive in my responses. I know how it feels, when one is criticised. In one of my recent and a simple discussion, I was aghast and shocked to receive some indifferent and derogatry responses. I never expected that some of the members can be so rude while responding to a non-controversial, non-complicated and a very easy discussion. If I have a different view than the writer, I try to explain my position in a polite manner, but I can never be rude. If at all, I feel that I do not agree with the writer on any of his points, I skip that discussion, so as to avoid any hard feeling with the writer.
@gxnfly (1147)
• China
30 Apr 08
No,it never happened to me before.I never criticized people in my responses.Most of friends here are very friendly,there is no need to be harsh about it.But if I read a discussion which is meanful,offensive or something ,I might criticise the person who writes it in my response.Once I got a not very friendly response for my discussion.I was really upset about it,I wanted to return it back,then I thought to myself,I should just ignore it,don't get mad for those absurd behaviors.
1 person likes this
@MAMABLAZE (242)
• United States
30 Apr 08
Hey icy, Honestly if I don't know what's going on I leave it alone. I mean if it's an ongoing story there is no point in my responding to only part of the details. As far as critizing anyone I can't be that harsh. It's not as though I have the right to tell someone else they are fools when I have been foolish in life myself? I do know how to be tactful when needed..I think...Mamablaze!!
1 person likes this
@busta1 (1029)
• United States
29 Apr 08
no i dont if i dont understand something or i disagree ill ask or say something in a nice way...no need to be rude..my mother brought me up better then that
1 person likes this