Have you ever been sucked dry, slowly?

India
April 30, 2008 1:15am CST
My work requires me to manage the front office and so quite often I am the first person somebody meets on entering the office. Many times it has happened that the person has come in a cab and for want of small change, could not pay the driver. Instead of tipping the driver the change, that person has come and asked me for loose change to pay the exact amount. S/he has then walked on, promising me to return the amount ASAP. Similarly, somebody else has asked if I had notes of small denomination in exchange of a big note and if I did not, that person has asked for some loose change to buy something urgent (again promising to return the money ASAP). This has happens time and again and if I sit to calculate, those loose changes would amount to quite a substantial sum. Needless to say, most people mentioned above have forgotten all about it. They talk to me, they smile at me, enquire about my day, my health …but never mention the small amount they owe me. I am at a loss! One part of me says it would be too cheap to remind someone about something so small, another part tells me to deny henceforth that I have any loose change (which I am practicing right now) and another part tells me not to be so mean over such minor issues. I even think of what will people say! Would they react like ‘OMG she is so mean, she asked back for (whatever the amount is)!’ But I feel that I am being taken undue advantage of. Have you faced such situation before and what are your suggestions for tackling this situation best?
5 people like this
9 responses
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
30 Apr 08
Sudipta! I feel you are more than lenient and kind to such people, who unhesitantly ask you for a favour, which they do not feel like returning or repaying (though it may be termed as one of your positive traits, but ultimately, you become the loser). I find there are some incorrigible persons, who think that they do not need to manage their affairs, when the need arises, they would locate someone on the spot or on the scene and will plead him/her for help, because they know it very well that many of us or say most of us are very very kind and sympathetic to others and we feel pride in showing mercy to others. I agree with you that it is not in a good taste to ask them to return your petty amount. But if you keep doing it, you would lose substantial amount. My point is if you are keeping change on notes of small denominations, it shows that you manage your affairs well and you know that you should have change or notes of small denomination, in case need arises. Small change and notes are for you, not for others, who do not check their wallets and pockets to see, whether they are carrying change with them or not. They know it very well, that every payment cannot be made through Rs.100/- or Rs.500/- bills. While asking for help, they simply become innocent and lost. I am selfish in this regard, if such situations arise, normally I refuse to part with my change or notes of small denomination, until the fellow is very close to me or if he has not made it a practice. Because, whenever I go to market, I make sure I have enough change or notes of small denominations in my pocket, so as not to land myself in any uncomfortable or inconvenient situation. Though, it is also a fact that there is a shortage of small denomination notes, yet we have to manage. I would advice you, not to part with your change or notes of small denomination, barring some exceptions. I believe, that your refusal to part with change will not effect your 'reputation' in your office, in any manner. I feel, it would be better to say - "I do not have change", instead of feeling bad after parting with your change, speically when people do not bother to return it. Quite an interesting Post!
• India
2 May 08
Hi Deepak, Its very irritating on my part, I know. Somebody will just walk in and say ‘do you have Rs. 2/-, I cant pay the cabbie’ or you know some of my colleagues they are sitting on the first or second floor and come down to the ground floor for tea/coffee and they’ll say very sweetly, ‘Sudipta can you just give me Rs. 3/- to buy tiffin cake, I’ll just go upstairs and send the money thru a peon’. Now the money never comes and you cant just ask anybody to repay you Rs. 2 or 3! And if you do (I have done, forgetting courtesy) and then they glare at me and with a very irritating look (as if they are very busy for such paltry issues) they will return the money. Right now, I am practicing saying NO, and I think very soon they will take the hint.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
2 May 08
Hi Sudita! It is good to know that finally you have found the answer to your problem, yourself. You need to simply 'No' to them to get rid of this probelem. Rest assured, it will not spoil your relationship with them or will not lower your reputation in any manner, in front of them. You can tell them - "OH! dear! I am also looking for some change, would you please help me, if you are able to arrange it from somewhere else" Please stop obliging such incorrigble people. They would be on the right path soon. Have a great day and weekend ahead! Deepak
• United States
1 May 08
yeah, but in a different way...
• India
2 May 08
how???
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
30 Apr 08
Well I am sorry Sweetie but all these small amounts turn into a big amount at the end So I think you should start asking back for it as I am sure they would It is not right to be taking the Advantage like that also they know you will not ask so they will keep doing it as they can
• India
2 May 08
you are so correct Gabs. Personally I would never have forgotten to return a single paisa to anybody if I have borrowed. I have this principle on lending and borrowing that I don’t not leave any amount unpaid (however small) and I expect the same from every else too! Apart from that I am open to any treats and charities and gifts and such. But lending and borrowing is completely different. Anyways, I have started saying NO now. not that they are believing, some are even standing back and saying ‘are you sure, why don’t you chk your purse’. Just imagine the cheek of some people!
@tutul0045 (2630)
• India
7 Jun 08
Hello there, Well its a tricky situation really. For me i have some very close friends whom i dont ask for returns. They dont ask me either. And for those whom i dont know well i would simply say No ( actually never been in a situation like that ). I think u should tell them No straight away as u r the one who is getting bothered. Cheers, Tutul
• United States
30 Apr 08
I have a group of friends that used to do that to me. I'm a very nice person, almost too nice it seems. When I'm just trying to be kind hearted and helpful, someone is out there taken advantage of it.(Then people complain that there aren't any nice people left. Hey, people chased us away.) I'm the person that will spare money if I see someone is comming up short. I always carry extra just in case. It started when one friend didn't bring enough for movie tickets. I gave her some extra change and told her not to worry, she doesn't have to pay me back. Then it just got worse. Everyone assumed they could ask me for money and wouldn't have to pay me back. They always were short on money and of course I was quick to jump in to help. Then it went from needing extra change to needing extra dollars and I continued. Then it finally hit me. I had enough and just started saying no. Every once in awhile I'll help a little but if it seems too fishy like a person repeatedly needing some extra change, the first time is it. After that they'll have to ask another.
• India
2 May 08
yes, I can understand your anger and frustration. And the worst part is that we feel bad about asking for our own money, while people who borrow don’t remember that they have to return it.
• China
30 Apr 08
Sometimes,I am confused with the same thing.It is boring and unhappy.Sticking to myself , I may be langhed at ;let it be,I will be not myself and hurt someone inocent. so,I think you must be youself,even you cold be misunderstood.Because that's the lowsest cost.
• India
2 May 08
thnx for the response, but the costs are mounting!
@cheongyc (5072)
• Malaysia
4 Jun 08
These kind of people exist everywhere! I have encountered friends who owe me money for centuries. Usually I do not mind how they look at me, but will keep asking them to pay back. Unless trusted friend, I do not lend out my money easily. Because all my money are hard-earned. Although those amounts involved are petite, but in long term you suffering certain amount of loss. So, I think it's totally unfair for you. Treat all those you have given away for the learning fee, if you really reluctant to claim it back. Start from now, do not simply give it out easily. One trick is do not bring small change with you or keep it somewhere far away. Or some way you could think of, or reasons, so to avoid from borrowing money to them.
@urbandekay (18278)
4 Jun 08
Being sucked dry slowly? mmmmm, sounds interesting! hehehehehehehehehehehehe all the best urban
@kwenge (2487)
• Kenya
4 Jun 08
Hey friend, I have been in your situation in many instances and almost daily. We have office upstairs and I work downstairs.......people from upstairs used to pretend and ask for loose change and small small money so that they do their urgent business and promise to return back, but they mostly never do that. I gave out money till one day I said enough is enough....others could borrow even 3 time a week. I started reminding them and then I started saying I dont have loose money stone face. Some even borrow your pen and go with it never to be seen again. I really get disgusted in such behaviour and me I dont like asking for refund of little money. The best thing for you is to just deny outright that you dont have coins or you have exactly the same as s/he has. Others even keep their stuff in my desk for months without picking them up. Can you imagine having 10 umbrellas next to where you sit for months till the next raining season?