Is a middle child really a problem child?

@adoremay (2069)
Philippines
April 30, 2008 9:17am CST
I am the third child among five they say that a middle child is a problem child. That most likely the child will not get the attention needed from the parents that they tend to become a black sheep in the family. I beg to disagree, because I am not. Anyone else?
2 people like this
8 responses
@bbsr13 (4198)
• India
30 Apr 08
Hello,adoremay!I don't think so.I was the third son of the five of my parents and they took all care for me and gave me good education.rather i was loved by all.rather the fourth and the fifth were problem for them.however no parents would think ill of their children.thanx.
@adoremay (2069)
• Philippines
1 May 08
thanks also.
• United States
30 Apr 08
I really don't believe in that saying. It doesn't matter what birth order one is. What matter is who they are, how they are raised, what their life choices are. I am at the tail end of the kids in my family...I am the black sheep...but there are others that have also chosen to go their own way. I don't really see that as being a black sheep. With my own children, my daughter had a rough time when she was younger 13-20. She is now 24 and one of the most responsible and one of the greatest moms I have ever seen. (My grandson is 2) However, my son, who never got into trouble as a kid, has since made some really bad choices, between the age of 17 and today he turns 20 and is still trying to figure "it" out. I just think it depends on personality...not birth order.
@adoremay (2069)
• Philippines
30 Apr 08
Yes, exactly.
• China
30 Apr 08
I've never heard of such a theory or something similar to that. There might be the possibility that the middle child will be comparatively neglected by his or her parents, because it is a bit common for the parents to pay more attention to the youngest one. However, it does not necessarily mean that the middle child gets the lest attention. And I believe the middle child is more likely to be a black horse rather than the black sheep. As a matter of fact, according to my observation, the youngest child is more inclined to be a black sheep of the family, because too much parental attention may possibly spoil them.
@adoremay (2069)
• Philippines
1 May 08
I am sure that I am not a black horse. Thanks for responding.
@stacyv81 (5904)
• United States
30 Apr 08
It all depends. My mom was a middle child and she did well for herself. My moms younger brother did great for himself, but the eldest child has been the problem.
@adoremay (2069)
• Philippines
1 May 08
Yes it depends.
@kykidd (6819)
• United States
30 Apr 08
I had never heard that theory, and I agree with you. I don't think it is true. I have 2 friends/relatives that their middle child is the most unique or adventurous and always receiving awards.
@adoremay (2069)
• Philippines
30 Apr 08
thanks a lot!
• Philippines
1 May 08
hello adoremay, im a middle child among 3. it doesnt necessarily follow that the middle child is really a problem child. for me the middle child would probably be more different than the rest of the sibblings. i feel in your case since you are 5, the 2nd or you or the 4th would be the middle children. and i have friends who are also middle children from 3 kids. the way i see it that middle children are dubbed like that because when the 1st born is in the world there is constant attention. and when the 2nd child is born the attention of the family and parents are divided. the attention for the 2nd child is not really being focused because theres the 1st born already. why because the 1st borns are the most anticipated and the most exciting for the parents and the rest of the family. getting full time and attention from everyone. this is probably where sibling rivalry also comes along. the 1st and 2nd born are big enough the attention goes to the 3rd. and parents by that time are more relaxed in handling the 3rd. for the middle child as i see it, its a constant struggle to make himself/herself heard by parents. and has to compete with the oldest for a lot of things. attention for parents is 1, and doing well in school as well and etc. so its not exactly being a 'black sheep'. for me, it depends on how the child takes in all the experiences he/she has experienced. if he turns it negative then he would be a black sheep as you call it. if it is taken in positively then thats much better. so i dont exactly agree that the middle child is a 'problem child' BUT i do agree that birth order aside from relationships with the family contributes to a persons personality trait, ambition and their self esteem. cheers :)
• Philippines
30 Apr 08
In our case, not really. We are three in our family and all three of us are boys. So you might expect that we're all of the rugged and problematic type, but in our case we are not. True that the middle child is the most extreme between the three of us but he's not really problematic. He's just sort of different that me and our youngest brother. He has different perceptions, likes and dislikes. Unlike me and our youngest, he does not readily agree on what we like. He is usually the odd one out between the three of us. but that does not make him at all problematic.
@bbsr13 (4198)
• India
30 Apr 08
Hello,adoremay! I don't think so.I am the third son of the five of my parents and i don't think i was ever a problem for them rather they took adequate care for my well being.instead,the fourth and the fifth were headache for them as well as for all of us.thanx.