Do you accept friend requests of complete strangers?

@liquorice (3887)
May 3, 2008 5:07pm CST
If you get a Facebook friend request from someone that you don't know do you just click 'ignore'? Or do you try to find out more about them by going to their profile and try to discover how they came across you, and why they want to be your friend? Or do you maybe just automatically click 'accept' so you can have more friends? I'm asking this as I've just got a friend request from someone that I don't know. I've found out that we have a group in common and he's perhaps invited everybody in that group to be his friend. Looking at his profile he's got over 700 friends, so I think he's a bit of a friend-collector! I don't think I want to be friends with this person who is only interested in being my friend so that he can boost his numbers.
8 people like this
31 responses
4 May 08
No I would not allow a stranger that I didnt recognise to be my facebook friend. I only have people that I know and can pinpoint how I know them i.e. went to school with or worked with them!! Especially if they have over 700 friends!!! I may have a peek at their profile but would not accept their friend request.
1 person likes this
5 May 08
I struggle keeping track of the friends that I have never mind the rest of them!!
@liquorice (3887)
4 May 08
Thanks for your reply. I agree with what you're saying. I don't know how anyone could hope to keep track of so many friends!
• Canada
7 May 08
I do, but I love having alot of people to chat with. I have mostly people that I know, but if the odd person comes on, I add them.
1 person likes this
@liquorice (3887)
7 May 08
Thanks for your answer. You sound like a very friendly person.
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@pumpkinjam (8451)
• United Kingdom
4 May 08
On Facebook, I only accept requests from people I know because of the information I have on there. Sites like mylot, I am happy to accept more randome people but on Facebook, no. I have had people I didn't know contact me and I asked who they were in case I had forgotten them! But it turned out they had got the wrong person. I won't accept people who I find I don't know and have found me via a group.
1 person likes this
@liquorice (3887)
4 May 08
Hi pumpkijam, that sounds very wise. The difference between Facebook and the other sites is the amount of personal information so I agree that it's best to be more wary there than on here, or else limit the information you have on your Facebook profile. This was only the 2nd or 3rd stranger who's requested to be my Facebook friend, so I was surprised when it happened. Another complete stranger once superpoked me, which was also a bit confusing!!
1 person likes this
@Bd200789 (2994)
• United States
10 May 08
No, I'm not on Facebook, but when I was on myspace I didn't. I do on mylot, however.
1 person likes this
@jengoss (145)
• United States
3 May 08
I don't usually accept friends on facebook unless I check out their profile first. I have accepted some friends on there that I wish I hadn't. I feel that they are truly addicted to facebook and have nothing else to do. It has taught me to check out people's profiles first.
1 person likes this
@liquorice (3887)
3 May 08
I agree, I would always check out their profile first. It's a shame that you've accepted some friends that you regret. Did you delete them as friends? I'm sure you can do that. Yes, when I see that someone has hundreds of friends I feel as if they don't truely want me as a friend. I think I'd rather just be Facebook friends with people that I actually know.
1 person likes this
• Canada
4 May 08
I never accept "friend" requests from people I don't know. I think you are right, there are people out there just trying to get big numbers. I don't have time to communicate with my true friends so I am not going to use any of my valuable time for something like this.
1 person likes this
@liquorice (3887)
4 May 08
That's a good point. Finding time to catch up with your friends is sometimes tricky, so if you end up spending lots of time on people that you don't know then it's not worth it. You don't want to upset the friends you already have!
@humaaaa (1386)
• Pakistan
3 Aug 08
I approve most of them unless they don't have a bad profile picture or something rubbish. I accept more people because this is how I will have more friends to reply in my topics and i will earn more.
• Pakistan
22 Aug 08
well what do you look in thier profile because i sent an invitation to you but you didn't responded. and i don't think i have any bad photo or rubbish profile. (very confused)
• Canada
16 May 08
The way I see it, if I don't accept friend requests from "completel strangers," I'd never meet any new people. Everyone is a omplete stranger until you meet them. Idon't hae a lot of information in my public profiles, so I don't have to worry about being stalked.
@liquorice (3887)
17 May 08
Thanks a lot for your response. I agree with that on sites like myLot where people don't tend to have lots of information about themselves. I think that on Facebook it's different as there is more scope for personal information. Although if you deliberately don't put much information there about yourself then that's not so much of a worry. It's true that everyone is a complete stranger until you meet them, and it's nice to make new friends, I suppose it's just about getting the balance right.
18 May 08
I would never accept anyone I didn't know. I always check them out carefully, see who their friends are and their interests too.
@liquorice (3887)
19 May 08
Thanks for your comment recycledgoth, very sensible. (Btw, I like your username!)
@sameroad (3179)
• United States
4 May 08
i don't use facebook but i use myspace and mylot and it depends. I will check out the person profile first to see if there might be a certain reason why they are adding me. if they are just after friends i don't bother because they have way too many as it is and i doubt they would ever actual try to talk to me. but if its someone adding me because they'd like to get to know me then i always accept. sometimes i email the person first to find out why they are adding me.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 May 08
I have lots of friends on MySpace and MyYearbook. I already got to know most of them. Especially those I know from my local area. Overall, most of the friends are strangers unless I get to know them. I always accept their requests. I do not think that they know where I live at all. I am careful not to give out my personal information at all. Since it is never safe at all. I never give out my accounts at all. Everyone, be really careful at all costs.
1 person likes this
@rhane7315 (5649)
• Philippines
4 May 08
i usually ignore it if i don't who that person is
1 person likes this
@jalucia (1431)
• United States
4 May 08
Well, I don't belong to facebook. But, I do belong to My Space and a couple of other sites. I don't really get too personal on my page. And, I am very careful when dealing with people on the internet. So, when someone sends me a friend request, sometimes I check out the profile first. But, I almost always accept friend requests, even if I don't know the person. I feel like I'm on the site to interact with different people (not to hook up with them). (I don't need a profile to interact with people who are already my friends, outside of the internet) So, what harm could come from accepting an invitation to be someone's "friend"?
@mkchaves (530)
• Canada
4 May 08
i dont get any friend request at facebook, in friendster though there are a lot of friend requests of complete strangers and the answer is no. i do not accpet friend request whom i dont know.. :)
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
4 May 08
I tried to join Facebook (my daughter-in-law is on it) but could not. Maybe they block anyone over a certain age, since it is geared to young people. The groups that I belong to, one I only asked for a few friends because I am too busy here. Here I accept everybody and then I found a lot of the everybodies did not agree with my point of view and so I had to eliminate a lot and then invite some in my interests that I want to be of the same mind without being robots of course, I did not have enough Christians, seeing I am one myself so I requested them. Now that I have put out the requests, I can now accept anyone who asks as friends because now I have a balance. So I am more interested in having a balance and do not care how many friends I have. So it does not matter if the guy has 700 or 1000 or just ten. I do not think that Facebook pays for how many friends you have or he has so it does not matter. I do not assume anything of anyone.
@liquorice (3887)
5 May 08
Thanks for replying. Do you mean that you only want to have friends who agree with your points of view? I think it's interesting to hear other points of view as well, but I agree that it's nice to have friends that you have things in common with. It's interesting that you choose your friends to get a good balance. I'm also of the opinion that it's quality and not quantity of friends that counts!
@skydancer (2101)
• United States
4 May 08
I always look at their profile and make sure they don't look psycho or just like one of those "friend collectors" who is just trying to impress people by the number of "friends" he or she has managed to wrack up. I am rather different in that I use these sites for networking as a dancer and an artist rather than to for cyber-socializing (although I do have family members and real-life friends on my list as well). I think most people seem to use it almost as their own little mutual admiration society (to show themselves off in other words). They have personal photographs, blog entries, status updates, etc. that illustrate their personal lives yet they have 200+ friends. It seems awfully pointless to have that many contacts when your content is directed primarily toward that very select few. Also, I came from the "teen domain scene" era, in which I got my start on the internet maintain my own websites which included an internet domain. I found these social networking sites to be sort of a step down from having your own web identity and consistently embellishing on your design skills specific to that web identity which is what I was always used to. So I naturally didn't see much in it for me on a personal scale, however, I find it very helpful to use in small doses to generate traffic to your website and promote your work. That said, I see if I can place a friend or interest in common before I accept and see how it goes from there. Usually the requests from total strangers seem to be from groups I have joined, in which case, a common interest is inevitable. If they turn out to be immature and not terribly resourceful, then I may remove them. If they are vulgar, I will remove them regardless. If it is a request from an artist or band, my policy is that I have to see if I like their work first, which I think is fair to both of us.
@liquorice (3887)
4 May 08
I love how you say that you check their profile to make sure they don't look psycho! How can you tell?! It's good that you're able to use it as a way of networking for work purposes. I agree with what you say about how some people just collect 'friends' and may be trying to impress them with what's on their profile pages. I think it's fine to have photos, updates etc. so that you can keep you genuine friends up to date with what's going on in your life, but like you I don't think the 200+ 'not really friends' would be at all interested in these things, let alone be impressed! Yes, I think it's wise to look for a common interest before you accept friend requests, I don't see any basis for the friendship otherwise. However, personally I think that I'm going to limit my Facebook friendships to people that I know in real life, and continue to use it as a place where I can keep in touch with them. I suppose if I was using it to network for work or as a promotion tool then it would be different. Thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
3 May 08
no, i hardly ever get a friend request on facebook from someone i dont know, but i generally dont accept it anyways. i am careful of who can see my personal information on facebook!
@liquorice (3887)
3 May 08
Yes, I agree. I think it's a very good point about not wanting strangers to see your personal information. It's wise to be careful.
@gemini_rose (16264)
4 May 08
I registered on there ages ago, but I did not know what I was supposed to do on it so never bothered with it. Then recently I had a couple of requests off people asking to be my friends, so I checked them out, the thing is I cannot understand why they would want to be friends with me, we have nothing in common and they were males and a lot younger than me. So I just denied them, I do not go on it anyway so there is no point!!
@liquorice (3887)
4 May 08
I've had this experience on here too. I've tried to figure out what we had in common but all I could come up with was that maybe we'd participated in the same discussion? Maybe that's a possibility.
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
4 May 08
Hi Liquorice I don't have facebook but it doesn't make any difference since whether its there or here or any other place i always check them out first. I want to make sure i'm not making friends with anyone who has other intentions.
@liquorice (3887)
4 May 08
I think that's very wise. Thanks for your reply.
• United States
4 May 08
Well there isn't anything too personal that I have on my Facebook or my Myspace so I wouldn't feel uncomfortable adding someone that I didn't know, but generally don't do it anyway. Theres not really much of a point since its just one more person you don't know on your friends list, some people just go around adding so it looks like they have more friends. Along with my Facebook and personal myspace I do have a band myspace which is the only case I would add anyone, but this is just for publicity so its more reasonable.
@liquorice (3887)
4 May 08
I suppose people manage their Facebook accounts in different ways. Some don't accept people that they don't know as they don't know who they are and they don't want them to see all their personal information, while others perhaps don't put personal information on their profile in the first place, and so feel more comfortable about adding strangers. I never thought about that before. I agree that there are people who just seem to use Facebook (and probably other sites) to get as many 'friends' as possible, and personally I don't really see the point of doing this, unless you have something to promote like a band, company or exhibition of some sort. Some people are just into self-promotion I guess!