i need advice first time mom here

United States
May 4, 2008 12:00pm CST
im a new mom and i have a 1yr old girl i want her to under stand when i say no that means no but she just laughs at me and hits me how do i get her to know im not playing she listens to her daddy with no problems but me is a different story,please help,my family says when she hits me to spank her bottom but then the first time i did that her face turned red and i cried and felt really bad what do i do,moms out there i need advice
2 people like this
8 responses
@rsa101 (13337)
• Philippines
16 Jul 08
Well I guess you have started to let her realized that you mean business. But its really true that a 1 yr old daughter will not easily grasp what you want her unless you really show her that you mean it. Just don't overdo it and I think you are on track. Sometimes we have to look sternly at them to really understand us but then always be sweet and loving to her when she behaves good. In time she will get the idea just be patient and be firm on your daughter.
@ladym33 (11009)
• United States
16 Jul 08
Spanking her is only going to reinforce that hitting is the thing to do when something is not to her liking. If you hit her, she will think it is acceptable to hit. She is also too young to be spanked as she should not be expected to understand a lot oat this age. The best thing to do, is lay you hand on her arm, or shoulder or gently hold both of her hands down, look her right in the eye and say no. Just by physically touching her she will pay more attention to what you are saying, if she tries to hit or laugh continue to hold her, look in to her eyes again, and repeat "No!" In a very stearn voice continuing to maintain eye contact. If she continues to try to hit continue gently holding her arms down until she gives up and then release, praise her for stopping the bad behavior.
@phoenix25 (1543)
• United States
7 May 08
I'm not sure where you are from, so I am not sure what the cultural practice is for disciplining children. In the United States, people in the South usually spank their kids, while people in the North usually either do nothing or do time-outs. Frankly, it sounds like your daughter is playing you like a violin. First of all, what does her father do that makes her listen to him? Does he spank her when she disobeys or does he raise his voice to let her know that he means business? You might benefit from taking a que from your husband and try whatever he is doing. If she simply thinks that she can get away with bad behavior with her, you have to let her know that you are serious. You need to let her know that it is unacceptable to hit you, no matter what. You need to decide what you are prepared to do to get that message across to her. I rarely spank my son because I was abused as a child. I do give him chances to stop what he is doing before I spank him, though. When he was little like your daughter I would count to three and if he was still doing whatever it was that he was not supposed to be doing, I would spank him on his thigh so he would feel it. I wouldn't spank him hard, just enough to let him know that I meant business. If you are not comfortable with spanking your daughter, you could try the 1-2-3 warning system and then put her in a crib or playpen without any toys. My son had toys in his room when I would punish him, but he hated going to his room so much that it didn't matter if toys were in there or not. Now, he does listen more and I rarely have to spank him because he knows I will do it. You just have to figure out some way to establish with your daughter that you are in charge and you will not tolerate her hitting you or not taking you seriously. Sorry for the long post.
@MsTickle (24782)
• Australia
7 May 08
First off....who taught her to hit you??? That's appalling. Secondly, if you say "NO" you have to mean it and you have to have a valid reason for saying it. You cannot go back on your word that is distasterous. If you say no and she cries or screams ...ignore her, put her somewhere where she can't hit you. She must nott be allowed to hit you. Hitting kids teaches them violence. Some kids learn to behave if they receive a smasck but a smack makes some kids cheeky anbd defiant. You need to be careful. Never threaten anything unless you are prepared to follow through. Parents must be consistent with everything. Kids need limits so don't worry too much about being too strict.
@grzdingz (187)
• Philippines
5 May 08
i am a first time mom also and full time mom.....i have a six month old daughter.she is learning to grab things and trying to put it in her mouth.when i see her doing that i will say no but will continue to do it and sometimes just laugh at me....she also tried to pull my hairs and it is indeed so painful.what i do is that pull her hand and smack it....i think it is fair enough....it is really hurt to do hurting your own kid but there is a need for him/her to feel pain too.as for me it is a form of discipline.as long as you expalin it to him/her why you do it ,they will understand...talk to them and let them understand....my daughter doesnt know it yet..olf course as being a six month old...lol....but i do try my best..
@qtfrog99 (279)
• United States
4 May 08
I feel for you, I have a 20 month old son who went through a biting stage, I really was at wits end, finally I consulted his pediatrician and he gave me great advice, and you could probably do the same thing when she hits you, either sit her on your lap or on the floor and cross her arms across her chest and hold them there until she gets frustrated that will show her everytime I hit mommy why do I get frustrated? I have to tell you I really was at a spot where I thought my son was the next hanibal lector, but the advise his doctor gave me really worked and knock on wood I haven't been bitten in about 3 months now!!!!
• United States
4 May 08
You have to make her listen. When you tell her no and she laughs and hits you, you say no in a more serious tone and pop her once on her bottom. You don't even have to spank her hard and normally one spank will do the trick. It's also in the tone of voice you use. It takes time but if you are persistant she will understand and listen when you say no.
@mark17779 (667)
4 May 08
Trying to teach a 1 year old right n wrong is like trying to teach a camel not to spit. Be firm when you tell her off, put on a deep husky voice and let her know it's not play time. If she hit's you then hit her back, do not cry as it show's how weak you are.