How Do You Get Motivated?

@sunkissed (4332)
United States
May 5, 2008 11:04am CST
I really would like to know how to get myself motivated. I do not seem to want to do much of anything any more. I know it sounds real bad.But, I live alone, I never get any company except my daughter every once in a while.I have been disabled for over 22 years.So I can not work any more,I am at the house all the time.There really is no where to go, and can not afford to go anyway because of the gas prices..The only places I really go is the doctor and the chiropractor. So I really never even so people much. I was in a relationship with a man for over 10 years we broke up last week, it has really left me devastated.I really knew it was coming, But when he told me to "Get out of his house", I was floored.I left immediatly, and never looked back, I never called him, he never caled me. I would go to be with him every evening and come home in the morning when he went to work.Now I really do not know what to do with my life.I am copeing, but that is it!
4 people like this
10 responses
• United States
6 May 08
I am sorry to hear about your situation. I live by myself as well and don't go anywhere really except for work and once in a great while I will get company here at my place. I try and not let it bother me for I have grown used to being alone and kinda like it now. I have my games I can play, I listen to music, I come here every day and get lost for hours in MyLot reading up on discussions and posting, I clean, watch tv or movies, do puzzles, word searches, play w/ my cat, all to occupy my time. I try not to look at the down side of things for they only put me in a sad mood and I don't like to be that way so I look at the bright side of things.
3 people like this
@sunkissed (4332)
• United States
6 May 08
Thank You. At least you have your job. I felt so much better when I could work and was around other people. I just feel so isolated.I do not try to look at the down side either but that is all i see. I am always in pain, I think the pain has taken over my life.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
6 May 08
I think you are still grieving over your boyfriend. it has only been a week and you were together for over 10 years. that takes time. I know gas prices are high but I think you should at least when you are out and about on your doctors visits maybe stop in somewhere and grab a coffee or do some shopping. I meet people all the time out and about. I stop at the same dunkin donuts for my coffee whenever i can afford it. they all know me there and get my coffee before i even ask. we joke and it is just a good start to the day. spend some more time on here....just don't seclude yourself. Your guy sounds like a jerk but just remember, he is only one person in a kazillion. Keep busy. I commend you for not acting desperate and calling him. you are a strong lady.
2 people like this
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
6 May 08
you know that if you just imagine inviting someone over to your place, it will get you motivated to work on your place. I think right now by the sounds of it that you need time to get yourself and your life ready for guests. you have probably been in a rut for too long with this guy of yours and it is time to crawl out of it and focus on NEW things. when I went thru this, i indulged and got a new hair cut and went tanning for the first time...you would not believe the ego boost and i so needed it. i just redid my whole life and it kept me busy and i loved it. loved it so much that i love being single now and who'd of guessed that one.
2 people like this
@sunkissed (4332)
• United States
6 May 08
Thank You so much, I do need to go someplace to meet people, I can not do it sitting around here. I am a very beautiful woman.I am 56 and people think I am 40.And you are right this man has always been a jerk I never could do anything right, We always had issues in the relationship, that is why I will never call him.I could never go back.I must move on.I think I will go get a new hair do.
1 person likes this
@paid2write (5202)
6 May 08
It's not surprising you feel this way at the end of a 10 year relationship. You need time to get over your feelings of rejection. I think it does no harm to let the dust settle a little until you feel more motivated. You have friends here at myLot. I hope you still feel motivated to join in the discussions, and you won't feel so alone.
2 people like this
@sunkissed (4332)
• United States
6 May 08
Thank you so much.Yes, I amso very thankful for all of my wonderful friends here on Mylot. You all have truly been a blessing to me.You have really been helping me out so very much.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (35026)
• United States
5 May 08
Man can I relate with you, and I know how hard it is and can be to get motivated. Sometimes it seems like you almost have to force yourself to get anything done, and going out of the house sometimes is even worse. I had that problem for many yrs. and still find myself from time to time, having those same issues still as well. As I had a couple of Health Issues that put me on Disability for some time, I always never wanted to get anything done. And then it seemed something snapped, and I realized I had no choice but to do more. What you need to do, is find some things to do that you enjoy. Maybe that is take a walk, take yourself out to eat, read a good book, find a Club or something to join where you can meet other women, etc. Being by yourself all of the time can be dangerous, as it only leads to depression, etc. Wishing you the Best.
2 people like this
@sunkissed (4332)
• United States
6 May 08
Thank You so much Dear. I really think I am depressed.Some days I will not even leave my house to walk out to my mail box to get my mail.I do not even want to go outside.I have lost interest in everything.I can not walk, that is what I used to love to do, but because of my back and legs I can not do it at all.I do get in the car and go out to eat some times.
1 person likes this
@sun2day (1063)
• Virgin Islands (U.S.)
5 May 08
Dont you want to be happy. "DONT WORRY BE HAPPY" was a slogan that we used often. You may say to me it is easier said than done. Even if you are disable dont you have friends, people who you chat with. This is the time when you need friends. Are you into any kind of organization/ or ladies group. Please dont let one relationship tear you down. "You Must Let Go Of The Past".Just remember "JOY IS YOUR STRENGTH." Life is too short not to enjoy every single day. Happines is a choice, and the time to be happy is now.
@sunkissed (4332)
• United States
6 May 08
Sunday, To answer your question.Yes I do want to be happy.And I remember that saying very well as well as that song"Dont worry be happy" But that is easier said than done.I have a few friends, but for some reason ever since my father passed away in 2000 I no longer like to talk to the phone much, so I really do not call anyone. I call my sister,mother and daughter each day that is it. If someone calls me I will talk but thats it. I am not much of a phone person.Well when you are home alone all the time what is there to talk about anyway?I go to church each week. But no I do not belong to any other orginization.I am trying to be positive and happy, but I am in pain constantly, what is there?
1 person likes this
@rockvixen (894)
• United States
5 May 08
Wow, you seem to be going thorugh a lot right now, but let me see if I can help you out. Don't let your disability stop you from enjoying the things you love to do. I have a hearing disability, I'm almost fully deaf in one ear, but I don't let that stop me from doing what I want to do. Yes, gas is pricy, but I'm sure you can go to places close to home. To get motivated, get yourself out there, try going for a walk, but not a fast walk, or if you cannot do that, go to a park, and find a place to sit and enjoy nature, enjoy that peacefulness, and let the mind wander a bit. When you wake up in the morning, do something good for yourself and perhaps somethng good for your home. You don't have to do extravagant things, just find ways to enjoy things more. Sleeping all day and hiding yourself a way won't help. That guy who told you to leave, was not worth it, 10 years or not, he should have given you a reason why. Don't let it eat you away, you are so much better than that and worth so much more. You deserve wonderful things, and don't you ever let anyone tell you different. You are a wonderful person, I feel that.
2 people like this
@sunkissed (4332)
• United States
5 May 08
Rock,Thank you so very much,You are such a very sweet person.I am so sorry about your disability too, I know that all of us have problems and that we must overcome them.I can not go for the walk, as my disability is due to my back, and nerve problems in my legs. But the park sounds wonderful.It is the home, I am finding a problem with, I do not want to do anything around here.I Hurting alot, and laying around all the time.You are right this guy is not worth it. I do deserve wonderful things, but where do I find them?And I know I am a wonderful person,thank you for seeing that in me. I can see how wonderful you are as well.
1 person likes this
@anawar (2406)
• United States
6 May 08
It's no wonder you can't get motivated. You're in shock right now. Take some time to recover without feeling guilty. Living with a disability challenges you every day. Once people can't work they lose social contacts. It's hard trying to force yourself to do something. I know about the gas problem as well. It is limiting. Because I have similar problems, I can relate, but maybe not help you. A few simple things I try to do. Any kind of movement stimulates the body. I try to do some simple stretching or deep breathing. Fresh oxygen stimulates the mind. I'm not sure what your disability is, but it's beneficial to go outside for a bit. When you go to the doctors, let this be an outing. You've already burned up some gas, might as well make the trip worthwhile and change it to something pleasant. If you can, stay away from the house for a few hours. Once your body starts moving, it's easier to keep going. Your heart is broken and your life changed overnight. Sometimes coping is all we can do. I try to set up small goals. If I only accomplish one thing_ as simple as making my bed, I feel better. The hole left by the absence of your partner will take some time to heal. I feel so deeply sad for you and I'll send positive thoughts your way. Hold on.
@sunkissed (4332)
• United States
6 May 08
anawar, you are so very sweet.You are right, I have lost the social contact. And for the last 10 years I have had someplace to go at least. Now again there is no where.Thank you so much for all your great advise,My disability is my back. I have had 4 surguys on it. And I have alot of nerve root damage in my legs so I can not walk very far either.But I love to be outdoors, so as soom as wummer gets her I think I will be O.K. You have truly been a blessing to me.
@anawar (2406)
• United States
7 May 08
Thank you so much for your heartfelt response. Keep in touch and let me know how things are working out for you.
1 person likes this
@sunkissed (4332)
• United States
8 May 08
Thanks I wiil. I am trying to take thisa one day at a time. Thank you so much for being there for me.
@mikeysmom (2092)
• United States
6 May 08
i am sorry you are having a difficult time. things will get better i am sure. just keep posting here if you need friends and i know that being inside and alone can make things worse but try to get outside in the sun if you can. they say that sunshine helps our moods and it is good for depression. other than that just try to keep your chin up and keep on going. on know life can be hard in many ways. i hope you have a better day.
1 person likes this
@sunkissed (4332)
• United States
6 May 08
Thanks, and you are so right. As you can see by my aviater and my user name I love the sun. As soon as I can make myself get outdoors. I will be a-o.k.
@LouRhi (1502)
• Australia
6 May 08
Well done you for coping. I think that is a wonderful effort in itself! Ten years is a long time to know someone, only to have them throw you out of their house. From what I have seen of you so far it does seem that prior to last week you were a fairly happy and motivated person. I mean with a big bright sunny avatar how could you not be! Plus to me sunkissed radiates happiness in my book It also appears as if life has treated you a couple of pretty rough blows in the past. I think these past set backs are a great way to motivate yourself. Look at what you have achieved in your life and times when you were happy and motivated. Draw on the strengths that you had during these times, they will be able to help you know. You are allowed to grieve for the loss of the relationship, even if he is a jerk. Remember though that life must go on. Live it as full as you can.
@sunkissed (4332)
• United States
6 May 08
Thanks so very much. Yes, I do love the sun, I am waiting til I can get out in the pool and then I will be alright.
@jer31558 (3683)
• United States
6 May 08
Well, some things, I cant get motivated no matter what I try. Some things I have no trouble getting motivated. Still other things I have to work at. These, I can sometimes get the motivation going by sitting down and listing all the reasons that I want to do what ever it may be. I am truly sorry about your circumstances. I have tried to make it a habit in my own life, that when bad circumstances arise, I will sit down and try to find at least some good in the circumstance. One situation I am going through right now is with my mother, she is in the hospital and not doing very well, we don't know if she will ever come home or not. Some days it becomes almost unbearable. However, there is some good to come of it as our family has drawn much closer together in the last month and a half. Theres an old saying, every cloud has a silver lining....its up to us to find it though.
1 person likes this
@sunkissed (4332)
• United States
6 May 08
Thank you for your response. I have always been told when one door closes another will open!! I am very sorry to hear about your mother being ill and being in the hospital. I pray that she will recover. I am glad that the family has all come together.God Bless.
1 person likes this