Brother are so confusing!

By Jess
@JJ4Ever (4696)
United States
May 6, 2008 1:49pm CST
I'm from Michigan where the winters can get pretty harsh. This past winter was no exception. I lived at home with my family where there was a three-car garage. My parents' two cars each had a space, which left the third garage space unoccupied for my brother and I to share. I thought it was a very nice set up. There's one complication. My brother cluttered up the extra garage space with so much junk that neither of us could park there ALL WINTER. It sure would've been nice not having to spend up to an hour every morning digging my car out of the ice and snow before going to work! It was such a waste of time and made me late for work on numerous occasions. That's not the worst of it. My brother is completely responsible for all of the clutter in the extra garage space. I reminded him AT LEAST twenty times to clean it out so we could park there. He kept putting it off and making excuses. (Remember that this is for his benefit, too, not just mine!) He had the audacity to tell me I should just take care of it myself. No way! It wasn't my fault the garage was cluttered, and I wasn't about to lift all that heavy junk. He should've taken responsibility for his own mess, in my opinion. I just about blew up when spring finally came because a few days before my brother's fiance came to visit, I couldn't believe what I saw. My brother had taken his new Mustang out of storage, and guess where it was parked? He procrastinated cleaning out the garage for months, but when the weather was nice enough for him to take his new car out of storage he cleaned out the garage to keep all to himself. He's been parking his Mustang in the garage ever since too! My brother's actions seem incredibly selfish to me. What are your thoughts? Other than complain and vent about the situation, I haven't done anything about it. I don't know about you, but I feel really bad for my brother's fiance if he's going to treat her anything like he treats me after they get married! At times, my brother can be the sweetest guy in the world and treat me like a queen. I know he'd do anything for me if it were a life and death situation. Maybe it depends on his mood. His actions that I described in this discussion just don't make sense to me. Any ideas? Please share your thoughts.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
6 May 08
There are a couple things I would suggest. First would be that you discuss the situation with your parents. It is their home, after all and, I am sure if your parents laid down the law he might have been better behaved and, they might get him to share it with you like he was supposed to have been doing all along. Barring that, grab the keys to his car, pull his car out or the garage and, pull your car in. Just make sure you hide your keys and lock your car doors so he can't pull your car out and pull his car in. But, once you do that, make sure you sit down with him in a calm, rational manner and talk it out like adults. Explain that you had to do something to get the ball rolling on what is fair and that is that you two are supposed to be sharing the garage. Maybe work out a schedule on a calendar. One week you have it, the next week he has it. Or, even do it day by day. You have it, he has it, you have it, he has it. And, make sure that if you do it on a day to day schedule, you have a specific hour of the day in which the space changes hands so each of you gets exactly 24 hours. The same with the week by week so that each of you gets it for exactly the same amount of days and hours. I hope you get it worked out.
1 person likes this
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
6 May 08
Oh...and since he told you before that you should have just moved all of his stuff out of the garage if you wanted to use it for your car during the winter, if he gives your grief about moving his car out of the garage and moving yours in, tell him you decided to take him up on the suggestion for you to move his stuff out of the garage for him, which included his car, and make things easy for him so he wouldn't have to do anything. After all, he told you you could move his stuff before. What would the difference be this time around?
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@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
7 May 08
LOL! Thank you! I try! And, trust me, I know the feeling. My bro is the only boy with 2 sisters and he is the youngest. All the rules were different for him. My sister and I had to learn how to drive with an old Buick Riviera and, while my sis was out of the house in college by the time I needed it, once I did need it, my bro needed it shortly after. But, he never had to use it because my parents just bought him a new pickup truck. My sis and I had to buy our own first cars. But, not bro. My sis and I had rules for dating...not bro. So, SPOILED is an understatement! But, like your bro, I know my bro would do anything for me. But, he is also very self-centered and that is really annoying. Anyway, I hope that if you ever have to, or get to, put my advice to use, it proves worthy and useful! Good luck!
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
7 May 08
Thanks again so much. I especially like your response now that I know where you're coming from. Your brother sounds way too much like mine! Your situation is quite similar as well. I know EXACTLY what you mean about no dating limits and such. My parents love my brother's fiance, but they hate my fiance. I just don't get it. I could go on and on about that situation since there's much more to it, but I don't want to bore you, and I've included my sob stories in other discussions. Thanks again for your take on this situation. It has helped a lot, and I actually feel a whole lot better. You've justified my anger! (LOL) Thanks!
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12648)
• United States
7 May 08
Oh hun, he's a man. Men are flippin stupid at times, they are also full of sh!t. They can also be so selfish. Even the good ones, they are still men. They can be so good, then the next minute they can be so rotten. They don't think like we do, they are from a different planet. Now I don't want to scare you from getting married. They aren't always that bad, you learn how to deal with them. If you want to have some fun and get him back. Let the air out of his tires, that will fix him. I know you are probably thinking, is this really Polly responding here, yes its me. I am just feeling a little ornery.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
7 May 08
Don't you feel bad one bit for your response, Polly! I have to admit that I did wonder for one quick second, "Is this really coming from Polly?" (LOL) But in the end, your response made me smile and laugh because I know it comes from your heart as well as life's experiences. I appreciate your response because I really shouldn't have to put up with my brother's mood swings. (And they think WE are the one with mood swings!) Thanks for keeping my spirits high and for the chuckle. It's great to hear from you.
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
6 May 08
You are absolutely right, in this situation your brother was very selfish, and did or does not respect you. Have you taken it up with your parents? Sit down and explain everything you just explained to us.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
7 May 08
Thanks, Winterose. Yes, I have talked to my parents. I asked my dad to either move the stuff himself (since he was partially responsible for some of the junk) or at least talk to my brother about moving it. He said he'd talk to my brother and possibly take care of some of it. It didn't happen. I told my mom about it, and she just agrees with me that this is ridiculous, rolls her eyes, and doesn't do a thing about it. My brother can be so sweet, but this situation makes me so confused! Thanks for your help.