Im in a dilemma whether to have one more child or not

@sharay (2776)
India
May 8, 2008 4:17am CST
We have a girl baby now, she is nearly 3 years old and i am 29 years old, i feel like stopping with this one child, i jus want to give her all my love and bring her up as well as i could...but people around me say so many things pertaining to future and that i must deftnly have one more child..dont know what to decide...what do u people think?
4 responses
• United States
8 May 08
When it comes to children, less can mean more. Being under pressure is perhaps the worst reason to consider bringing in a second child into the world. * Having a single child can be ideal for many reasons. 1) A single child doesn't need to compete for parent's love or resources when finances get tight. 2) Looking after a single child's wellbeing is easier than looking after the wellbeing of many children should something befall your partner. * While siblings can mean instant friends, they can be instant enemies, you don't know just how the personalities in your nest are going to turn out. It can cost over a hundred grand to send an American child off to College today. In today's mechanized workforce, at least in America as I can't speak for nations outside, the competition is mostly mental. * If I am in error, forgive me, but it sounds like you are under pressure to have a boy. Boys and girls compete equally well with equal vigor in the sand box jungle then the college quad. Many fields see the glass ceiling disappearing.
@sharay (2776)
• India
8 May 08
yes..very true..u jus spoke my mind
1 person likes this
• United States
10 May 08
I am glad I was able to help you out. Peer pressure can be unrelenting. Thank you for best answer.
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
8 May 08
I think you should try not to let these outside people get to you too much - what's important are your own, and your family's, wants and needs. =) If you don't feel emotionally, physically, mentally, financially etc ready to have another child, or you just don't want to ("I feel like stopping with this one child), then don't feel pressured. Not that there would be anything wrong with having another child, but just like anything else in this world, it shouldn't just be to make other people happy, you know? If your concern is the "biological clock", then I don't think you should worry about it - if you decide that you want to have a child some down the track, and you're not able yourself, there are many options available to make it possible. Ignore what the other people say, and listen to yourself, and your partner and give yourself all the time you need to come up with a decision for your future =) Have a great day!
@sharay (2776)
• India
8 May 08
thanks..i also get worried when thinking about my only daughter, is she going to feel alone inspite of me being so loving to her (even she loves me a lot and she refers me as her best friend)?
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
9 May 08
I couldn't agree with CraftyCorner more - a well earned best response. =D
@smacksman (6074)
8 May 08
What does your husband think about it. An important decision like that should be a shared choice and a shared responsibility. I read some feedback on the Chinese decision to only allow one baby so to reduce population growth and it was interesting how it changed society a generation later. No extended family - no aunts, uncles, cousins! A good thing? I don't really know. If you've never had it do you miss it?
@sharay (2776)
• India
8 May 08
u know, in fact, we are a big family with many aunts and uncles and grandma's and grandpa's and niece's and cousin's, dats why my grandmother says that i have to have one more so that the family can grow and still be united..my husband says he wud like to hav one, but does not insist
@smacksman (6074)
8 May 08
The other side of the coin is that you may try for another baby and not be blessed with one for some reason. We were lucky in that respect. I only had to hang my trousers up in our bedroom and my wife became pregnant! haha Good luck with whatever decision you come to.
@se7enthbird (8328)
• Philippines
8 May 08
i have a son his pictures appear as my avatar. we only have one. my wife has been to a lot of miscarriages before we hit the jackpot and she is to scared to get pregnant again. so i respect her decission. i really want to have one more but i respect that. if you feel not having a child anymore then you have to decide for that. having kids is not easy..... specially when they start going to school. we have to make sure that we save enough for their future. now, you dont need to pressure your self. not because people around you have 2 or more children then that means you need to be like that too. lucky us for we have one.
@sharay (2776)
• India
8 May 08
the one in my avatar is my daughter...thanks four ur response