Amusing dictionary of men's language: Great for a good laugh

India
May 8, 2008 12:02pm CST
I got this dictionary of men's language in today's e-mail. Thought I would share it with my good friends here. Read and enjoy, and feel free to debate on some of the meanings. They are hilarious. The new Men's Thesaurus - on sale now at your local book stores!: "I'M GOING FISHING" Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety." IT'S A GUY THING" Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical". "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?" "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..." Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Means: "I have no idea how it works." "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is single." "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD". Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Means: "Are you still talking?" "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever dated, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES". Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe." "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt." "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING". Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon." "I CAN'T FIND IT." Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Means: "What did you catch me at?" "I HEARD YOU." "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me." "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse." "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving." "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Means: "No one will ever see us alive again." "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK." Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up." Cheers!
4 people like this
4 responses
@katsmeow1213 (29023)
• United States
8 May 08
Oh, that's funny and so true! But I was thinking of something when I read the one about "It's just a little cut" It's odd the way men react to this. My husband walked around with appendicitis for 3 days before seeing a doctor, he kept trying to say it was just a pulled muscle. He also walked around for a week with pneumonia claiming it was just a cold. He fought against going to the doctor when he had shattered his elbow, and another time when he broke his leg (took a few days for this one). But one Christmas he had a stomach bug, he hadn't gone shopping yet and I had to force him to do that on Christmas Eve. Christmas day he opened presents with us and went back to bed. Dinner that night he ate nothing and complained the whole time how sick he was. You would have thought the man was dying. It was just one of those 24 hour flu bugs, he didn't even vomit once, but he wanted all the pity and attention he could get. I just don't get it.
2 people like this
• India
9 May 08
Wow, I don't get it, either! And guys say they don't understand women! We are easier to understand, aren't we? Thanks for responding. Cheers and happy mylotting!
2 people like this
@Pitgull (1523)
• United States
12 May 08
"It would take too long to explain" I've witnessed the same translation "I have no idea how it works" from, "Baby, just watch me, you know I got this" "I've got this" = I've never done it before, I'm going on a whim
2 people like this
• United States
8 Jul 08
In all of MyLot your discussions are the most fun to respond to! Although what can I say to this one but I have a few friends I can hardly wait to send these to, although I will have to wait because it is friggin' 4AM and I am about to fall asleep in my seat.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jul 08
I am glad you liked it. :) I hope your friends enjoy it too. And you are right, friggin' 4 AM is just the time to fall asleep if you are still awake or wake up if you are sleeping. Good night..uh..good morning and sweet dreams. ;) Cheers!
1 person likes this
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
13 May 08
thanks for the good laugh! We all go through similar experiences!
1 person likes this