kids kids kids

Trinidad And Tobago
May 9, 2008 8:38am CST
I have a three year old son I am Twenty three, i may not know much about motherhood but I am doing a pretty good jod at it there's a problem his father died in 2005 and since then i'm working very hard to take care of him but yet I feel very lost still questioning myself if I can do better for hi, any advice on this take
1 person likes this
5 responses
• Bahamas
9 May 08
It's sad to hear that your son lost his father. I felt the same way when i had my eldest, i was just 18 years old and terrified.But i'm sure that like me you'll be fine, sounds to me that you're doing a good job so far.The signs of being a good mother is always wanting to do our best for our children.There's nothing wrong with feeling lost, a child does not come with instructions it's through trial and error that we learn.You will soon build the confidence that you need..you're on the right tract just keep your head up.
• United States
9 May 08
I'm also 23, and I have a 3 year old son. I am a stay-home mom, but only b/c it was cheaper for me to stay home than pay for daycare and gas for work. Don't threaten a spanking 26,000 times a day, learn to stick him in time-out. A minute for each year of age, plus one more minute (4 minutes for your son) is about the average attention span for kids. So that's a great way to go on time-out. I know you are working your @$$ off to provide for him, but on your days off, don't just sit around the house. Gas is pricey, but take him to the local park, or a nearby stream. Let him wear older clothes that you don't mind being completely filthy, and get with him and you do exactly whatever he does, or whatever he asks you to do ("Mommy, you get sticks for my mud castle, and sit RIGHT HERE!"). Some of my greatest memories as a child are of when my mother took me and my sister on long drives and stopping whenever we wanted to. My favorite is when we passed by a river and she let us go swimming in our clothes! She was a single mom, and she did the best she could. She didn't always do everything she wanted to do for herself or for us, but she did the best she could with what she had. I don't know all of your circumstances, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. Just enjoy his little-ness, his babyness, his innocence, and don't force him to grow up too fast.
@magikrose (5429)
• United States
9 May 08
It sounds like you are doing fine. What is most important is that he has food to eat, clothes on his back the fit, a roof over his head and a warm bed to sleep in. The only other thing he needs is play time, and reading time with mommy. If you are doing all those things then you are doing just fine. I was 20 when i had my first and he is now 12 and doing great. I know how you feel I was the same way. I am now a mom of 4 beautifull children. 1 boy he is my oldest and 3girls. There are even days today that I question myself but then when I watch my children do there homework, or play together that is when I realise that I am doing my job right because thy are growing up healthy and happy. That is all that matters.
@mistissa (1349)
• Netherlands
9 May 08
I am sorry to hear that your son lost his father. But I only have one advice, stop questioning yourself. All mothers do what they think is best for their children, it does not matter if you are only 23. Everyone learns as they go along. I am 25 and mother of 3 children, and I cannot do more then my best, and that is what I do.
@littleone3 (2063)
9 May 08
It sounds like to me that you are doing a good job of bringing him up. I am sure that you are doing your best for him. I think you are questioning yourself because you have noone to share your parenting skills with. I lost my husband in 2003 and was bringing up my four children on my own for two years. The oldest was twelve and the youngest was just two. It can be a very lonely time. Do you have friends or family that are able to help you as i found my family and one of my friends were a great help to me at that time.