who will compromise first after quarrelling?
May 9, 2008 11:21am CST
I used to have angry quarrels with my boyfriends. At first 2 years, he would compromise first after quarrel. Gradually, he protested that why always his compromise came first? And he said I didn't care him at all. From that, he seldom comprises on his own initiative. Friends, could you have a talk about your situation? Have you ever compromised first after quarrel with your partner?
10 May 08
You had helped him built his femininity up; "And he said I didn't care (about) him at all." A man lately who's not a man shall be a disaster in the relationship. You had the right to be mad, but so did he. Next time, try to adapt for your patience. Don't always bring every problem into a quarrel. He had his patience as well. A relationship was built for years, but it can end up in a brief. Preserve always your relationship.
9 May 08
Well, as for me, I let him do that after we argued on some thing.. I never , I never say sorry even I know it was my fault or I started it.. And that was cruel part of me, I always have my pride on my way.. Now, that we are married, it depends on the situation, when I started the argument and it's my fault, i do the apologizing, and when he knew it was his fault, he do the compromising! Well, I guess, that's how a relationship should be to last long.. :)
• United States
9 May 08
I think it really depends on what the argument is about and how strongly the other person holds their point of view. If it's something my husband feels strongly about, but I don't, I am willing to compromise. And if it's something I feel strongly about, I don't cave just to make him happy. Sounds like that is what your boyfriend was doing! Sometimes we just have to be willing to agree to disagree, also. And there's nothing wrong with being the first to apologize, even if the other person started the argument. You don't have to admit you were wrong, or at fault, but just be willing to say "I'm sorry we had this argument." You have to be willing to pick your battles. Some things just aren't worth arguing about but some people just have to have things their own way. All relationships are about compromise, and people who always insist on having things their own way will not have successful relationships.