what will you do if your sister in law is having an affair?

South Korea
May 12, 2008 6:14am CST
her son told me everything..and thats i ask my brother about it, i was so angry with his response...he knows that her wife is wrong but what i dont like is that he doesnt care...what will you do if your sister in is having an affair?
8 responses
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
12 May 08
If I saw it with my own eyes I would confront the sister-in-law and tell her to come clean. If it was hear-say, I would be worried, but I would stay out of it. If I have learned nothing else in life, it's that the truth will always come out. It's a no-win situation all the way around for everyone involved.
• South Korea
12 May 08
yes, your right too..i pity the kids,,,they dont even bother to send them to school...
1 person likes this
• Canada
12 May 08
Your last comment terrified me! Where are the children in all of this? Is there something more going on here...as the children seem to be in a "no win" situation! I would spend my energies with them and let the two adults "duke" it out!It's the children that need you now, you can do nothing for the adults, except to stay out of it, and be a soft place for the children to land. I am sorry for your troubles, but please be careful, they may turn on you for interfering.
@madlees (1381)
• India
12 May 08
We can do nothing about it dear. Just leave it. It is their family matter, if he doesn't care that his wife is going out of control behind him, what can you and I do about it. Since the son is worried you came to know about it. You would not have known it otherwise. That is between the husband and wife, if your brother doesn't care, then she also will not care. They are staying tigether just for the kids sake. That's what I think. We cannot interfere in their family matters don't you think so?
• South Korea
12 May 08
yes your right..but im hoping to caught her in the act..,so i could slap her..lol
@madlees (1381)
• India
12 May 08
You can do it if you are elder to her... But then do you think it will help? It might cool / calm you down.. That's all. Isn't it? It will not help the family in anyway. If you can try and correct the misunderstanding which has happened in the family.. If I were in your place I would try to find out why this is happening??
@ellie333 (21029)
12 May 08
I would have gone directly to the sister-in-law and confronted her with what I had been told and then if true would have told her in no uncertain terms to stop or I would tell my brother. The fact that you have told your brother and he doesn't seem to care is perhaps he was aware and really didn't want to know as he loves her so much he doesn't want to lose her. Your the messenger so he is also not happy for you telling him because now he is being forced to acknowledge the affair. It sounds like he would be better off without though. I could never stay with a cheat. I hope it all sorts. Ellie :D
• South Korea
12 May 08
thanks ellie..i wanted to ask my sister in law but she went to the province to attend the burial of his father..i was waiting for her..but it seems that he is avoiding me..
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21029)
12 May 08
Thanks for BR Marketing, appreciated. Just try to be there for your brother no matter what and take a step back, he will talk when he is ready. I feel for you I really do. Ellie :D
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
12 May 08
What other people do in their marriage is no one else's business. You don't have to agree with it but some people are fine with "open marriages' or poly relationships. Her cheating isn't affecting you directly unless you let it. Her husband/your brother is the only one that has any interest in her choices and if he's fine with it then apparently that's what works for them.
• South Korea
13 May 08
thanks
@meiteoh (421)
• Switzerland
12 May 08
Personally, I wouldn't get involved in business that doesn't concern me. Yes, it is my sister-in-law, yes it is my brother BUT this affair thing is between the two of them. She may have her reasons, no matter how wrong I think they are, and my brother may or may not know but it is not my place to walk up to her, tell her off and then judge her for her actions. I was not the one married to my brother, therefore I know preciously little about what happens between the two of them. What goes on in a marriage is often only known by the two people in it. Outsiders, family included, often have a vague or simple idea of why or what things happen in a marriage. And when people are told that their marriage is crumbling, and therefore that would mean that they are awful partners/husbands/wives, they get on the defensive. One way of doing so is by saying that they don't care. People may see your actions as meddlesome and it can have an impact on your relationship with your sibling. When a person needs help, they will ask for it - directly or indirectly.
• South Korea
12 May 08
thank you..
• Malaysia
22 Oct 08
I think we should not interfere in other people's marriage life. It is inappropriate for us to intrude because this issue is very personal and we are just outsiders. I never get involved in anybody's marriage because if we do anything which they do not like, we would be the person to be blamed for if divorce takes place. It has happened before. Many people get divorced because of a third person who intrudes into their marriage. Not because of the affair, but because of the interference of the not so welcomed person who wants to fix the problem. If your brother is angry at you, this means he doesn't like you to bother his problems. So you should respect his decision and his opinion. Let him be like this. If he really wants your help he will come to you without you asking him to. For now you just sit there and don't do anything yet. If they have a future together, everything will be settled. If not, then God has meant it to be. It's their life.
@despompa (472)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
i think the problem is between your brother and your sister in law. stay out of it. you are not in any position to interfere with their personal problems. let your brother fix it, or in case he doesn't know about it, let him unveil the truth to himself. you're not suppose to talk to her about it. keep in mind that unsolicited advise can sometimes be harmful. just let them solve the issue and if your participation on the matter is needed then maybe that's the time that you give your opinion.
• United States
14 May 08
I know you want to get in there and help but you have to let it be. If you catch her in the act then you should confront her about it. Or suggest things when you're around the two of them and then it might come up on its own. But you can't just assume that the hearsay is correct because it could have a detrimental effect on your relationship with them. I mean, what if you were wrong?