Signing On The Dotted Line...To Get The Golden Ring...

Prenuptial... - Prenuptial...
@twoey68 (13651)
United States
May 12, 2008 10:05am CST
Most ppl when they get married aren’t thinking about a divorce. However there are those ppl that insist prenuptials. A prenuptial is an agreement between a couple prior to getting married that spells out in detail who gets what, how much is paid and certain conditions on the marriage. Usually it is ppl that come from wealth that want to protect their wealth that they had prior to the marriage. I’ve never been in a situation of needing a prenuptial and I’m not sure that if someone insisted on one that I’d still want to marry them. It just seems like your planning ahead for a divorce…like you really don’t think it’s going to last. I guess some really have to do it…wealthy, celebrities, royalty…just to protect themselves against those out to feather their nests. Would you ever sign a prenuptial before getting married? Would you ever ask a prospective spouse to sign one to protect your assets? Have you ever known anyone that had to sign one? **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
6 people like this
24 responses
• United States
12 May 08
Personally, I cannot figure out why anyone would ever even bother to get married. I can't even conceive of being with the same person for my whole life. I know of a woman who signed a prenuptial agreement not to have pets in their marriage. It had a very happy ending though. Hehehe.
1 person likes this
@musicman6 (2371)
• United States
12 May 08
I myself would sign one, because I would want my loved one to know that I am interested in her as a person, and not her assets! I would ask my loved one to sign one, if I had assets that were passed on to me from a relative, that relied on me to take care of it! After a marriage, I think they should split everything!
1 person likes this
@meiteoh (421)
• Switzerland
12 May 08
In Malaysia, prenups are not very common and my hubby isn't even sure if it is in France. We were approached with this question when we went to register our intention to marry with the French embassy (it was to obtain a single status letter for my hubby) and we said no. We didn't really see the need to sign a prenup... For me, well, I come from a culture may seem moneyminded (the whole stereotypical view that Chinese people only care about money), but in actuality, marriage to us is more about bring two families together and not two bank accounts. For us, only super rich people sign prenups - working class citizens like myself don't have that much property for someone to "steal" it through marriage. I didn't want one and neither did my hubby because 1) we don't have much money to begin with, and 2) we see marriage and money in a marriage differently - as my hubby puts it "his money will eventually become my money; I stand to prosper from his 'riches' and vice versa". For those who do sign prenups, why do you do it? (Just out of curiousity...)
1 person likes this
@gigarange (1165)
• United States
19 Jul 08
I would sign a prenuptial agreement. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's your partners money before you even meet and he/she works hard for it. If it's his/her will to feel secured then i'll sign it. If I am the one that have all the millions, I would let my partner sign too. If it means peace of mind to both of us, that's okay.
@jeanena (1616)
• Bucklin, Kansas
18 Jul 08
I am like you I don't know if i would still want to marry someone who insisted on a prenup . Like you I think that would be like saying i don't think this is going to last. I guess if I was totally in love ,a gonna die without you kind of thing iI might change my mind who knows, but i seriously dont think so I have never known anyone who had the kind of money to be worried about having someone sign one. I think if I had tons of money and was the slightest bit thinking they might just be after the money I would ask them to sign one. Could be they might love me enough to sign because they weren't really thinking about the money..lol Darn i just confused myself
@littleowl (7157)
18 Jul 08
Hi Twoey-I have been married twice my first husband and I never thought about a prenuptial we didn't have any reason to but when we divorced I met a man whom I married but just felt that it was emotional blackmail he wan't to marry me for as I did have a little money guess I cared for him but didn't love him as it should be so I did tell him I wanted to make a prenuptial he wouldn't have any of it so the marriage went ahead anyway-when we divorced he took virtually everything I had bought instead of sharing it so it took me at least 6 to 9mnths to get home looking like home now it is but wish I had made a prenuptial as life was so hard then and still is the house still is in the middle of being decrated and this 8yrs on!! littleowl
• Australia
8 Jun 08
I would never marry someone who insisted on a prenuptial agreement. It shows that they don't trust me as a person and I couldn't live like that. My partner and I are still trying to get the money together to get married, but we don't need an agreement on who gets what etc. We know that it would be something we could work out between us and would take the things that belong to ourselves first (like clothes, computers, craft stuff, books etc) and then work out an arrangement for the rest. I wouldn't care if the guy I was to marry was a billionaire, not trusting me is a sign that the marriage wouldn't work at all. A good foundation and trust are the best plans for marriage. If you don't have this, then don't sign on the dotted line.
• United States
15 May 08
I wouldn't sign one or ask someone to. I feel the way you do, that it's just planning for a future divorce. And if you are going to do that, why bother getting married. I understand that the rich and famous kind of have to in order to protect themselves, but I am neither rich nor famous.
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
14 May 08
no I didn't when I got married, neither one of us had anything and then we got divorced and we still had nothing. Here in Quebec the law is that upon divorce the spouse is entitled to half of the estate, that was incurred through marriage and nothing before marriage any how.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
13 May 08
I would never marry anyone who would expect me to sign a prenuptial..It would make me feel that they did not trust me....It would also make me feel that they were maybe thinking the narriage might not work...
• United States
13 May 08
Since I would only marry a wealthy man of course I would sign a prenuptial agreement.It would be for the amount that was a sum that I thought was a whole lot of money but a sum he thought was fair.I think these agreements are good. A prenup doesn't have to deal with only money.He would get me to sign that I get X amount of money and I could get him to sign that I am not to have any children or have to host big parties. Anything could be put down in a prenup.It is beautiful.
• India
13 May 08
no, I do not know anyone who has signed a prenuptial. We are all very middle-class here and as you say correctly, such agreements are mostly confined to celebs and royalty. I don’t think I would want to go ahead with marry a guy who would want to retain his assets more than his wife
@shannon76 (1234)
• United States
13 May 08
I would never sign one and I would never ask anyone to sign one. You are right, that is basically saying "this might end". Marriage is FOREVER. Or suppose to be anyway. (And yes I do have one failed marriage behind me so I can't say divorce doesn't happen).
@golfproo (1841)
• Canada
12 May 08
Hi THere! Well...I certainly wish I had a prenuptial agreement with my first marriage. She came at me after it ended for virtually everything. It was vicious. I can see at the same time why people do not want them however because it shows lack of faith in the relationship. However, after being through what I went through I would have to say I favour them! cheers, :)
@Gollywog (1092)
12 May 08
I think its odd to expect your coming partner to do this. My friend did this as he knew his girlfriend was only with him for his money. He has a thriving buissnes Holiday home in Spain, house in UK he lives in this one. She was younger than him by 25yrs well it lasted 13months and she walked away with a large amount of his money. all I could say was what a big fool!!??!!
• Regina, Saskatchewan
12 May 08
Pre-nups aren't just for the rich, but as their assets BEFORE marriage often become greater AFTER marriage, then pre-nups in this age of rising divorce for the sake of the 'settlement' that could be had, is important. I don't see a problem with a pre-nup frankly. The divorce laws are becoming such now though that equalization is more in line between the two parties. I'm not rich. But my soon to be ex and I have substantial 'non-liquid' assets to be divided. My concern is his driving up our debt load knowing that a divorce is imminent. I really wish now that we DID have a pre-nup, so that I wouldn't be on the hook for half of those debts that have nothing to do with me, but I must assume as his legal wife.
@Lindalinda (4112)
• Canada
12 May 08
When I got married neither one of us had much of anything we were young and just starting out. Some of my young relatives have protected their assets when there was an unequal relationship between the partners. One of my second cousins is getting married. He has a house all paid off, and some money in the bank. The young woman has no assets at all, so he wants to protect what he has in particular if something should happen to him to safeguard it all for his little son from a previous relationship. The girl he is marrying is a wonderful person and says she understands. She loves him and does not care about his assets.
@jillmalitz (5132)
• United States
12 May 08
Since I am not rich I didn't think about it when I got married. But I can remember when my ex and I were divorcing he tried to get have of things that were given to me before we were married or were gifts from my father to me. I can see why the wealthy would do this espcecially if they are both rich individually. Then again there are a lot of people who dont have money but seek out moneyed people. If you have worked hard to make that money I can see not wanting some person take it away and then leave or destroy what you have worked hard for all your life.
• Bahamas
12 May 08
I know of a couple that came into our office to sign a prenup, they already had it drawn up.After readind it, we saw that it was one sided in favor of the man, but despite that we had to let them know that our courts do not recognize prenups.Instead they could make an agreement that would have to be worded differently as not to be taken as a prenup.As for me i think just how you discuss your finances before marriage you should decide whats going to happen should you get a divorce.If i felt that the agreement was fair i think i would sign it, that way if the marriage fails we could settle our divorce as quickly as possible.Although it may seem like you're planning for divorce,the fact still remains that divorce is a possibility.Thats a sad thing but it is a fact.
• United States
12 May 08
yes i would ask,but i'd be fair.what's mine is mine,what's his is his (before marriage)but anything bought during the marriage could be divided fairly. i have a family home i'm due to inheirit and i'd be damned them forcing me out after a divorce when they had no original part in it.