Are You Obsessed With Revenge?

@Rozie37 (15505)
Turkmenistan
May 12, 2008 8:24pm CST
I know for me, revenged seemed like an almost natural thing. I know that it is not now, but I still struggle with forgiveness sometimes. I remember as early as the age of 12, I was seeking revenge on my aunt who I lived with at the time. she had done something to really upset me and I wanted to get her back. I am learning that getting revenge only makes matters worse. It is very hard for friends and relatives when you carry out vengeful acts and then come back and ask forgiveness. I am learning the hard way that revenge does not pay. But at the same time, I am learning to forgive and let things go and that feels real good. Are you one that has problems with letting go without seeking to hurt that person in return for something that they have done or that you think they have done? Here a link to help you deal with those feelings and forgive. https://www.qualityhealth.com/psp/poll.jspa?poll=1174&rf=28117&mc=ODcxMDg2OA..&emailPID=content
3 people like this
11 responses
@Polly1 (12650)
• United States
13 May 08
I am a very forgiving person. I do my best to let things go. I do get mad sometimes. I get my feelings hurt too. It hurts to much to not forgive, to keep all that inside. Life is too short to hold grudges. We are all human, we do make mistakes. We all do screw up.
2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
13 May 08
You are right, we are all human and we all make mistakes. I am learning to not judge people by whether or not something was done on purpose or who is at fault. I am learning to forgive no matter what.
1 person likes this
@mbs730 (2155)
• Canada
13 May 08
I used to seek revenge and that does nothing but hurt you. I admit I have a HARD TIME letting things go. And I am NOT forgiving. If someone upsets me (delibrately and never apologizes afterwards), I am angry for a long, long time.... that hurts too but I just am not the forgiving type. They say forgiveness does not condone their wrongful acts, but it brings you peace... I still cannot bring myself to forgive anyone who has purposely hurt me. If someone hurts me and acknowledges it, and apologizes.. then okay, I can let that go. BUT more times than not that does not happen. I won't seek revenge because it bites you back even harder and the ones who had hurt you come out smelling like a rose! You don't want that to happen.. but on the other hand, I still hate anyone who purposely does me wrong!!! And unless I get an apology, they'll stay on my s*** list for good!
2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
13 May 08
The only thing about that is there is no way of knowing whether or not a person did you wrong on purpose ar not. They may have been doing the best that they could. I am learning that this is why the Bible says that God is the only just judge. He knows the true intentions of that person's heart and we don't.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
13 May 08
Nope I am not one to seek out revenge if someone has done me wrong. I may stay upset with them for a little while, and then I get over it. I can't hold grudges for long as it eats away at me, so I prefer to get it sorted as quickly as I can and let it go.
2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
13 May 08
You are right. If we hold a grudge then bitterness will take root and eat away at us like a poison. We do not forgive for the other person only, but for ourselves also.
2 people like this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
13 May 08
Hi Rozie37, I am not one to seek revenge, I learned a long time ago that it is very dangerous to your own health. Forgiving someone who has harmed you or a loved one is often very difficult as well. I've had a very hard time with that but I know I've made a lot of progress. The healing process can never be complete until we have forgiven. It is not strange That Jesus told us to forgive our enemies, it was very practical advice. Blessings.
2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
13 May 08
Forgiveness can be very challenging at times. Especially, when we assume that the other person should have none better or did it on purpose and deserves to be punished. This is why God tells us to give it to him. Only he knows what is in the other person's heart. So he is the only just judge.
1 person likes this
@cutepenguin (6458)
• Canada
13 May 08
Sometimes I just cannot get over something. i think I have forgiven someone, but I can't quite let go.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
14 May 08
Some things are harder to forgive than others. But the more we practice forgiving, the easier it becomes.
@Ravenladyj (22992)
• United States
13 May 08
I've actually never been one to go out for revenge..and thats more so since becoming an adult..Its just not worth my time or energy ya know...If someone wrongs me paybacks will be made naturally, there's no need for me to do it..Karma can be a right royal b!tch and it ALWAYS comes into play so taking revenge out on someone just isnt necessary...
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
13 May 08
Oh how I am learning that it is so not worth it. If I take revenge, then I am setting myself up to reap what I sow. Thanks for responding.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
13 May 08
i understand people who have thought of revenge to people who have seriously inflicted them pain, may it physical or emotional. people deal with such differently, others forgive easily and others keep it to themselves until they can find ways to ease that pain - and yes it sometimes formulates revengeful thoughts. i have been throuhg tough times, i see people i love hurt and humiliated by the very onese i thought would keep us safe (friends). i learned that not all friends you can count on, and they are the ones who can hurt you the most... but with all the trials we had in our life.. i have never thought of personally doing my revenge. all i have in mind was, There is karma and i am going to have my payback from other people... i do not want to hurt people... i learned how to deal with that.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
13 May 08
Very good.
• India
13 May 08
Yes, I am the sort of person who can very easily let go and forget and move on. But only because I think I lack the ingenuity of planning and actually carrying out my plans of revenge. Very early in childhood, I learnt that on an average most people around me were more intelligent than I was at that time and they took me for a ride. (not their fault for me being so stupid and trusting type) by the time I realized this, I was fuming and plotting and scheming and wishing for the heaven to break on them. But the heavens ignored me completely and my anger and frustration grew. It was killing me, maiming me from within, preventing me from going out and enjoying the world and laughing at my own stupidity. However, thankfully with maturity I have learnt to control myself a lot. As you yourself know, revenge gets you nothing, what has been done can never be undone. So forgive, forget and move ahead.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
13 May 08
That was pretty heavy. I am glad to be moving into a place of maturity in this area.
• India
13 May 08
I beleive in revenge,but if only it is fair.I am not kind of person who is not going to pay back even if a person is like bullyng you.A hit back is must in my view,not to show your strength but to show that you are not going to tolaratesuch bullish things. But being obsessed with revenge is not the right thing to do.I read somewhere and i follow this say,"REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVE COLD".So wait for the right time and hit back harder.
• United States
13 May 08
Depends on the offense! I have dreamed long and hard about getting back at a person who nearly destroyed my family. I havent done it but.... I do hold grudges too long. Forgive is better but it is hard.
@jer31558 (3684)
• United States
13 May 08
I tend not to be very much bent on revenge, though at times the thought has crossed my mind. I am generally easy going and it takes quite a bit to upset me. Once I get upset, it usually doesn't last very long.