love requires effort... (your thoughts and feelings - wanted!)

@jairgirl (2879)
United States
May 12, 2008 9:30pm CST
love never dies a natural death... it dies from neglect and abandonment... it dies of blindness and indifference and of being taken for granted... things omitted are often more deadly than errors committed... in the end, love dies of weariness, from not being nortured... we dont really fall out of love any more than we fall into it... when love dies, one or both partners have neglected it,,, have failed to replenish and renew it... like any other living, growing thing,,, love requires effort to keep it healthy... i have read this passage and made me realize how true such statement can be. most of the time we failed to see the changes that is happening as we alwas thought it is the same or we are always being understood by our partner or someone we love or care. people dont see that love is also like a plant that needs to be norture and take good care of, it is not something that will grow on its on. no matter how much we love someone if that someone dont seem to care and give something at least, the other person will get tired and get out of tune. love is such a wonderful feeling when you are sharing it with the one who feels the same for you. i know my relationship is far from perfection, but what i am proud about it is that we have ways to keep it alive, that despite the storms that comes and goes, the foundation we have keeps us together intact, although sometimes moved yet never taken away. it requires so much work, to some it may seem to be so easy as love is being presumed as a feeling that never ends and just keeps flowing... in the real world it is not... if you fail to norture it,, it will die or will look for a place where it will be taken cared of.. then the other will be left out wondering what happened, what he did wrong and blame the other for being at fault for the failure that take place. remember, if the partner are truly happy in the relationship,, there will be no desire on his part to look for someone, to find for another love, to find a place or a person who will reciprocate the same love that he gives. it is always a two way path... do you know how deep your foundation is? are you sure he/she is truly happy with you? when was the last time you truly speak with him/her with your heart? do you know his/her heart's desire? there are so many small things that we seem to failed to realize and the only time we can see this is when all is gone and we are left behind wondering why... i know i am not a doctor, or a master, or someone with wisdom to say anything,,, but i know how to love,, how to truly love and to me that is something i am proud of,, my greatest possession... my precious...
4 responses
@subha12 (18462)
• India
13 May 08
its true that love needs effort. there can't be everything so perfect that will happen to you. for that you must try so that everything is correct. also that the changes occur instantly. one needs to identify those changes and stick to them.try to make ways sio that love is prevailing.
1 person likes this
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
13 May 08
hello subha12! yes, we can only try and not focus on the mistakes that we had instead use that as our weapon to learn and be better. yes there is no such thing as perfect but you can make it happen coz perfect is only a state of mind and if you feel you are having a perfect relationship no matter what others think and say it will remain perfect in your eyes. love is a wonderful experience and it is much more wonderful if you know you are sharing it with someone whom you truly love and love you as well. takecare and thanks for being here.
• Philippines
13 May 08
Hi jairgirl... wow very nice post and very true...^_^ the moral is the same as my post please do feel free to browse..."MARRIAGE an Inspirational Story" SMILE ALWAYS...^_^
1 person likes this
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
13 May 08
hello, thanks for the response and for sharing your post with me. a friend of mine last year sent the same email to me and i was move by it. it may be a fiction story but still the story portrays what often happen in a relationship specially in a marriage - reason why we have so many divorce and separation going on right now. i wish it is not like that as i know there is so much love in our hearts just often forget all about it and thought the feeling will always be there. anyway, appreciate your response. good night!
@chrysz (1604)
• Philippines
13 May 08
I agree with everything you say, I know a lot of people who consider third parties, being beaten or abused physically are the only reasons for break ups but for me, NECLECT is basically the main reason for everything. Especially us women, we want our partner to at least appreciate us - our sacrifices for our husbands or partners and to the rest of the family. I have came to a point when I seek attention from other people but luckily, I was able to talk it out with my partner. Our very foundation as partners is aout ability to talk and listen to each other. MAybe we just gotten so busy with our own business that we seldom talk then and we were not able to detect that both are going astray. We even fought and never bothered who are hearing us until we heard our daughter wailing as if she was the one being scolded. That gave us the wake up call. We have neglected each other, nurtured only ourselves and out careers and forgotten that aside from our partners, there are children who will be and are sufferring aside from us. Right now, I know we are surviving and love is growing anew. Indifferences are being reconciled and both parties are growing healthy. I hope time is not late for other people to realize that love need not only be blessed with marriage but a daily nurturance from each other and from God above.
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
13 May 08
hi chrysz, thank you for sharing your experience to us. i know almost 99% of girls love to feel that they are appreciated and love and i honestly feel that those who think they dont like it is just hypocrites in some ways. i understand what you mean when you mention that you seek for other's attention in times like you feel like you are being neglected, it is just a common feeling and "us" girls always wanted to feel the romance there and if that is lacking then we seem to look for it somehow. if i am feeling neglected i am telling it to him so i dont have to seek it from someone else and we can fix it right there and then. it works and i am thankful that we can communicate that way. anyway, it is wonderful to know that you guys are aware that it is not only the two of you suffering but as well as your kid/s. some are not aware of it and not even seeing the effect of it to their kids and that is really sad. i am glad that all is working well now and that your love for each other is growing anew. wish you all the best. takecare and goodnight!
@DJfrOKI (251)
• United States
13 May 08
Boy that is a long post! I believe the biggest problem people face about love is the lack of understanding it. People throw the word love around so easily because they don't know what it is. How many times do you hear about celebrities loving someone in 2 weeks? They just got divorced and they love again so quickly. I can say that I know what true love is and what it can do. i can bring the most wonderful happiness and the greatest pain. For this reason, I don't say "I love you" easily to anyone. I love my wife with everything I have but only say the words a few times a month. In my opinion, saying it everyday or many times a day just cheapens it. But your first paragraph says it all but understanding is a bigger part too. Now you made me write a book!!!
1 person likes this
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
13 May 08
hello DJfroki, thanks for the response even though you see it as a LONG one that's very true that some people take love as if it is just a piece of clothe that they can change whenever they want and have a new one whenever they feel like it. im glad you're not my husband LOL coz i cannot live a day with out him saying he loves me as much as i tell him i love him. oh well i guess we all have our own special way of showing how much we love our love one. i appreciate your honesty about how many times you said the word "i love you" to your wife and i respect your reasoning as well. haha, will be interesting to read the book you write. will be waiting then LOL.... takecare and have a good night!