do you have a long distance relationship?

Philippines
May 14, 2008 4:59am CST
Did you guys have experienced a long distance affair? How was it? Did it last? I need some advices on how to keep this kind of relationship. My boyfriend and i are very much far from each other. I dont get to see him whenever i want to. I cant have him here everday when im feeling lonely or depressed. we have spent our anniversary away from each other it was sad but i had no choice. =(
15 responses
@shenfei (188)
• China
15 May 08
I am having one right now. While I am studying in a northern city of China, she is doing hers in south. We cann't see each other everyday, not even in holidays. And yes the feelings are not so good. I call her every night, chat through internet. I bought a camera so she can see me. Every now and then I sent her some presents, nice or practical ones. And what is worse, we both know that this situation will last for a while. Sometimes we had small fights about this. Long distance relationship is indeed more difficult. But not difficult enough to get us seperated. We love each other truely and deeply. I understand how you feel. I just want to say if you two too love each other and are serious about this relationship, all you need to do is thinking about your happy future. It is a long life time. Then you will realise that this current not being together cannot be a problem.
• Philippines
15 May 08
Yup! thats very true ot so hard to have a long distnace relationship but we are realy trying our best to make it last and to run our relationship smooth as possible. Thanks for your advice i really appreciate what you have shared with your re;ationship.^_^
@maquisa (316)
• Philippines
15 May 08
4 years with been in a long distance relationship with my bf,it's really hard beacuse you both needs to adjust everything and understand why?and what?,but then we encounter everything that a normal relationship had,and i really wish that if i were given the chance to go back i would want to have a long distance relationship than being together,we missess each other we have a lots of communication...but then i know that everything has an end...for 8 months of being together really hurts...we broke up last feb. and 5yrs of relationship is over just because of a B*TCH.Really sucks...but now im happy and learn that ttiers no such words as PERFECT RELATIONSHIP.And long relationship sometimes does't guarantee that your for him and his for you...GODBLESS
• Philippines
15 May 08
well thats is one of the problem in a long distance relationship there are temptations to cheat coz you dont get to see each other often.. That is so sad to hear curse that b*tch who ruined a relationship.
@meiteoh (421)
• Switzerland
15 May 08
I had one for nearly four years and I ended up marrying him. ^.^ Well, I know how you feel but keep your eye on the bigger picture, k? There will be times when you miss your partner dearly, when you miss the physical intimacy, when you miss sharing...but a relationship can and is often more than just those things. A long distance relationship will test all that and more. When I first met my hubby, he was in Singapore and I was in Malaysia - we met once a week. Then later on, he flew back to France and I was still in Malaysia - we would meet only once every six months and that's during Christmas. We never got to spend our anniversary or birthdays together as a couple. At first it was painful and horrible...but after a year, it became easier to bear because we knew what needed to be done in order to keep our relationship afloat and in good shape. Communication was one of them, going on with our own lives was another. The last thing your partner needs to hear is how life stopped for you because he wasn't there. It just makes him more guilty which isn't healthy for any relationship. Remember that this affects him too so instead of moaning about how tough it is, buck up and be strong. This is just the beginning - if you guys get married, there will be other challenges ahead. Communicate often via the phone or any tool off the Internet. Send him snail mail if you like/can - postcards, cards, letters... If you want to do more, then send him a gift. I sent my hubby strawberry shortbread cookies in the shape of hearts and books as a V-day gift when he was in France. Yes you may not have a choice to be in a long distance relationship but you can choose to make it stronger and better.
• Isle Of Man
15 May 08
i did use to have one, but we both found it too hard to handle so we decided to get married after 3 months of being apart... we went back to the Philippines to get married...unfortunately he needed to go back to saudi arabia and i needed to go back to the UK 3 weeks after the wedding... we needed to wait 6 months before he could come over to the UK to stay for good... and it was the longest 6 months of our lives... as before we were married we continued to talk over the phone and the internet for hours and hours everyday... and we figured that we only miss each other more, but what can you do? but to hold on to your memories and and pray for everything in extra, extra faith, extra hope, extra love... at least we knew then that it's not gonna be that way forever because he's gonna come over here in a few months...
• United States
14 May 08
Mine wasn't an affair; it was more of a friendship between a guy and a girl. He is from England; I am in the USA. We met in an online chat room called !anyone_out_there on Talk City, back when Talk City was good. That was almost ten years ago. We've met each other in person a few times (he's been here.) We not only became really good (best) friends, but now we're engaged! :o)
• Philippines
15 May 08
wow your story is cute..i think that kind of relationship lasts longer 'coz you two started as friends.
• Malaysia
23 May 08
I've been in a long distance relationship before. No doubt it was very hard, especially with the time difference. i have no idea how i survived that, but i did. drove me nuts at times and made me cry too. but there are many means to keep in touch; telephone, email, IMs, digi cam..etc. i missed him a lot, every single second and wish i could see him or for him to be physically there with me, whenever i was sad or happy. you need to have a solid trust, as you're not able to see what your other half is doing. And you need to have lots of faith, enough to not make you give up on your relationship. but i believe, in the end, love is what that holds you together. if two people really love each other, no matter how far they apart they are, they'll be able to go thru the relationship. love knows no boundaries;).
@se7enthbird (8326)
• Philippines
15 May 08
yes, i am married to her already and we have a two year old son. she used to work abroad but now she is a 24/7 mom and a house wife. it was not easy and calling was really expensive but we made it. i am planning to work abroad too and i know we will still be loving each other this way even we are million miles apart.
@rhane7315 (5672)
• Philippines
15 May 08
my first bf and i have a long distance relationship. it only lasted for 2 years. he's always cheating and lying on me many times and yet i still forgive him for the things that he does. i'm a martyr at that time. we only see less than 15 times for the 2 years of our relationship and i'm glad that it ended even though in a very hurtful way. he's the one who ended our relationship because he loves another girl. but i'm happy with my love life right now, my bf really expresses himself on how much he loves me and i also do it to him. i'm glad that i made the right decision on accepting my 2nd bf. just be always honest and trust each other and go away to temptations and i know that it will work on the 2 of you.
@bestie (1458)
• Philippines
15 May 08
It works for me....I also have a long distance affair.Just make sure that you always have communication.It doesn't matter how far he is as long as you stay in love with each other everyday,it will really work.have trust in your relationship and everything will gonna work out fine.
@myliezl0903 (2731)
• Philippines
15 May 08
we actually had the same experiences.,im into long distance relationship for 2 years and i would say that up until now i still feel sad everytime i saw couples dating and hugging with each other.,but i guess we can't do anything about it.,especially if you both doing that for your future.,let say he/she is working there because he/she wanted to earn a lot to save for your future right? it will also serve a test for you and your partner.,just need to trust him/her entirely because thats the main thing if you really want to have him/her forever.,it is very difficult, as you are emotionally attached to a person you cannot touch or comfort (hug, kiss, hold hands) and this can hurt your heart and wreak havoc with your emotions., Tha only way to make these relationship work is if you and your partner honestly believe you will be able to survive without the need or desire to be with someone else.,
@kezabelle (2985)
14 May 08
I have done this and eventually moved to where he lived to be with him we have been together 7 years now have two beautiful little girls so it can work!
@dante666 (18)
• United States
14 May 08
i had one for several month's and in my opinion long distance relationships have there good and badf because if you get to see the person once every month or so instead of everyday you will feel alot happier next to the person and appreciate them more thing's are more special to you when you earn and wait for them on the other hand it must be bad not seeing him when your lonely but all you need to know is that the emotion you and him share isn't fake and that even when you get lonely or sad he will alway's be there for you not pyshically but mentally and spiritually
• Philippines
14 May 08
My fiancee and I are far away from each other too. We have to be apart because of work. It is very hard on us because we've been living together for 3 years now and we kind of got used to being near each other before. But we have talked and accepted our situation. I go home every 3 or 4 months to see him since he can't go to my workplace right now. It's so hard and heartbreaking but we manage to pull each other out of the depression every time.
• United States
14 May 08
I had one. I am still with him. I moved from Mass to Virginia to be with him. We are two years going strong.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
14 May 08
Yea I have and am in a long distance relationship and its been goin on for several yrs now (with a break for 2 yrs cause he ticked me off)..its hard to do but definately doable...Key thing is being open and honest with each other, when you CAN visit each other make the most of it...talk on the phone, write letters etc etc..Be sure to have all your concerns out in the open and talk them through etc when they come up and so on...This past yr I've not even been able to talk to my bf on the phone because he's been in prison so we have had to rely on letters but it still works...Patience, honesty, understanding and being open with each other IMO are the most important things..
• India
14 May 08
no i dont have one now but my boy frnd is goin to america in this cumin september n i m already thnking hw m i gonna stay witout him. although im mentally prepared i still feel bad when this topic comes out between us.