Is texting cheating?!
May 14, 2008 5:24am CST
Ok so I split up with my boyfriend last night and afterwards he promptly went and read the text messages on my phone - turns out he'd been suspicious I'd cheated on him with this certain guy - and he found texts confirming I liked this guy. I'm not sure what texts he read - but anyway he knows I like this other guy. But my argument was that I haven't done anything! And I have split up with him so now I'm single... But he says that the texting etc. is just as bad as actually cheating on him What do you think? my argument is that I didn't make that conscious decision to cheat on him - in fact I restrained myself! I would really appreciate your thoughts... Ps. please don't think I'm cruel, I know it must be hard for him.
14 May 08
Hi bojangles88, You harlot! How DARE you text some other toy-boy without the consent of your ex!!! The question in my mind is - why do you even care? Does worrying about this do anything to help you or your ex-boyfriend? Does it serve any useful purpose? What are you, his mother? I think you should decouple yourself from this leash, and get on with your life! Cut your ties and forget about it. Move on and do something else with your life. If you say you're single and independent, then assert yourself and walk away from this stuff. There's a concept which I believe yo would do well to consider - it's called "susceptibility to the influence of other people". Again, I ask, not why DO you care, but why care at all? People are people - and you are you, NOT him. So stop dancing to someone else's tune, and let him go and bother someone or something else instead. You are you - so BE you, and get on with whatever it is that YOU want to do with YOUR life (not his).
14 May 08
Yeah but I live with him... its quite hard. I suppose it'll all feel more real and I'll feel more free once he's moved out. Then I can go off and get with my 'toy-boy' who is infact 5 years older than me so not much of a toy-boy at all thankfully, as 5 years younger and he wouldn't be legal! Thank you anyway, I'm loving that you're so on my side lol not that there should be sides like... I care because I do still care about him as I did before, I think I was just bored with our relationship and I know I made the right decision to finish it. But he's a odd one, he doens't have anyone he can talk to really - just a best friend who is happily engaged at the mo and slightly preoccupied. I feel guilty because I'm stronger than him, i suppose.
14 May 08
Hi again, It sounds to me like you'll be needing to exercise some "tough love" to give this fellow a more practical perspective on life, eg, "emotional parasite" is not a career option. Incidentally, if he ends up living by himself, alone in a little shack until he finally croaks on a pauper's pension, it's not your obligation to rescue him and care for him. There's countless other more deserving cases out there if you want to be a charity worker. And there's probably way more productive ways to spend your time (like having lots of kiddies with your new toy-boy!). So like Bart says - don't have a cow. You have the obligation to behave in a civilized manner, nothing more. And so does he.