Son, School, Exams, and Bullies & Stress!!!

@gemini_rose (16194)
May 14, 2008 3:20pm CST
So, I had a bit of a rant here earlier, I was extremely furious and was alone and needed to get things off my chest and so I did so. Then I tidied myself up and went to do battle with the school.For those who have not got a clue what I am on about then please follow the link to my earlier discussion:- http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1515374.aspx I picked my 2 youngest boys up and then with them, and my 2 year old daughter we headed off towards high school, I was still very fired up. Hearing your son upset on the phone, truly brings out the protective bear in a girl!! I went in and the teacher, head of year was there with him and so I asked her what she was planning to do with regards to what was going on with these boys and my son and his exams, she said that she did not think it was as serious as my son was making out. So I said "No, you do not think so do you?, well how come I am being told by various classmates of my sons that they are going to be waiting for him before and after exams every time until they can get him"? "Oh" she says " I did not realize that they had said this" I told her that this had been going on for weeks, and OK yes my son started it by having a fight, but he did the grown up thing, accepted responsibility for his actions and apologized to the boy and to the brother. So this should not be happening. During the exam they kept making stupid noises aimed at my son and the boy behind my son kept kicking his chair. I think I got my point through to the teacher very clearly and I also told her that he would only be returning to school for his exams and I expected him to be able to take them, and take them safetly, so he will be closely monitored for each exam and the head of year is going to be talking to all the boys involved tomorrow. Lets hope that this is now sorted, but I can tell you that I was that mithered with stress today I could not eat, I have had the worst headache all day and I feel like I have been run over with a truck!! Thanks for listening, and thanks for the support, so has anyone else been really stressed out lately? If so what was the cause? And did you feel as ill as I did?
6 people like this
14 responses
• United States
15 May 08
I am sorry to hear what is happening to your son Gemini That's not right. I am glad you talked to the teacher for you probably made her think twice. Your son seems like a bright kis who deserve a good education and to be happy to go to scool and not have to be bullied by others like he is. It will sit in your mind through out the days now if your son is ok at school or you will be getting a phone call from him or the school about these boys once again. I would be very mad if I was in your situation. I hope your son does really well on those exams and dosn't let what has happend interfear with that. Let us all know how things go and we stand behind you 100% on it all. I know my son has had some issues w/ some kids and they were resoleved a couple of them anyway. I still worry though ya know? it's a mother instinct I guess. Keep strong and I wish you and your son the best of luck take care.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16194)
15 May 08
He is a bright kid, and that is the sad thing, he has had the support from me to follow his dream but the school have just failed him, and then the world wonders why our kids are the way they are, too many of them are allowed to just slip through the net. Thanks for you support and kind words, I will keep everyone up to date, and in August I will be able to tell everyone his results!!
• United States
15 May 08
I am glad your keeping strong on all of this and will be here as a friend should you need to talk. I know it can be tough and that's what us friends are here for. Yes please keep us updated hang in there.
@mummymo (23709)
15 May 08
Hmm not really very supportive then? I think I would have insisted speaking to someone over them if this was as good a response as the head of year could give - I mean you need to keep your son safe and he needs to be able to concentrate on his exams without this idiotic behaviour! I wonder that the invigilators did not notice - they were better than that in my day - perhaps they should be warned that there is a problem with these boys and what they are doing to your son and they could make sure that they do not get away with anything! if there are any more problems I would probably either to and/ or go to the police and to the Education Department as something has to be done about this! I do hope you feel better in the morning! I was this stressed yesterday - well you know what happened to Niamh - and yep I did feel the way you are now and did not sleep at all last night! Hugs xxx
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16194)
15 May 08
I have tried and I just get the same thing that the head of year is the main body. No the invigilators did not notice, and like my son said if it had have been him that was doing it then he would have been caught and thrown out. I have already decided my other children are not going to this school. I have read what happened to your baby, but it was not until late last night so I have not responded yet, but I will, and yes I think that I would be that stressed, I would have been furious. It is not on is it what happens in schools today.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23709)
16 May 08
I really hope that he can avoid them as much as possible now - I cannot believe the school is being so apathetic about this situation , I would be furious and I am glad that you have decided not to send your other children there! Tell him from me that I am proud of him and just to concentrate on his dream so he can have a fantastic life! At least with Niamh I have the backing and support of the school - they even asked what I wanted done - if there was something they hadn't done that would help either me or Niamh to cope better - it turns out there are other 'agencies' involved with both families and they have been informed also! Hugs xxx
@katsmeow1213 (29023)
• United States
14 May 08
Well, this doesn't make me feel any better. Doesn't sound like the teacher cares all that much about the situation. It's ridiculous. We should be able to send our kids to school and not worry about them being bullied or ganged up on. A fight between 2 students is one thing, they each have a fair shot so long as it's one on one, and what kid doesn't get into a fight in school? But to be ganged up on and the school just turn their back on it? I'm glad he only has a bit left to do, and then he's done for good. Hopefully he can finish his exams safely.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16194)
15 May 08
Do you know what, I hate that school, they have never supported my son over the years, I have watched him go from an A student to a maybe if he is lucky a C, I have asked for their support over and over, they just do not seem interested at all. I am only making him go in for his exams and if the school dares to try and say anything about it then just let them try!!!
• United States
15 May 08
I have a similar problem (not bullying, but studies) with my 5th grader. His pediatrician wants his school to test him for a learning disability, but the school says he's not doing badly enough for that. He's not doing badly enough because I refuse to allow him to fall that far and I am struggling like crazy to keep him at his C average. I shouldn't have to fight this hard, it is obviously not easy for him. But the school will do nothing unless he's failing. Of course I don't want him to fail, so I guess I will have to continue to struggle and they will continue to do nothing.
• Bahamas
15 May 08
I've had stress to the point of my hair falling out, couldn't sleep and couldn't eat.I constantly worry about my kids when they are not around me, and it bothers me when they are troubled by others. Anytime my children come to me with some concern i always take it seriously, because things that adults think are not serious can escalate out of controle.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16194)
15 May 08
Yes that is true, it seems like people think that I am over reacting when I say that I am worried what will happen if these boys get him. But I see the news and read the papers, I see what can happen in these situations.
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
14 May 08
I'm sorry to hear that your son is being treated this way. even though he started the fight as you said, he did apologise and the other boys need to leave him alone now. the school needs to do something about this before things get alot worse. There is so much going on in schools these days and they do not need to take this lightly. I hope you get the help you all need.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16194)
14 May 08
I think that it will be OK now, the boys know that I am on the warpath hopefully they will think twice before doing anything.
1 person likes this
@Breath (1298)
• United States
14 May 08
I read your post earlier today and I know how upset you was at the time...This would make any parent upset.When you send your children to school you should not have to worrie about safety issues...The biggest problem on a parents mind or the student should be the learning and grades...I ma glad that you told that teacher how you felt...I just hope this works out for you and your son...I know these test are very important...Good luck...Calm down and just wait and see what happens..
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16194)
14 May 08
I was upset, and so cross. I am determined that he is taking these exams, if I have to go and sit in the hall with him, he will take them. I have been so stressed today, I have not been that stressed for 2 years, it is awful I always end up unable to eat and feel so ill. I am calm though now..... Thank you for your kind words xx
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164036)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Jul 08
gemini rose you did the right thing as unpleasant and upsetting as it was so hope it goes right from now on for your son. I am stressed out tonight as for eight weeks I have fought with these shingles and itis wearing me out. I went out for the first time in 8 weeks tonight with mybest girl friend and she felt as bad as I did so we were not in the best of spirits for a happy evening out and it was as hot as billy blue blazes, we are having a heat wave and its not pretty like the musical.I am stressed out grrrrrgrrrrgrrr grrrr grrr ouch.
@gemini_rose (16194)
10 Jul 08
8 weeks? that is such a long time to have those shingles, did you go the docs?
@gabs8513 (48803)
• United Kingdom
16 May 08
Well you know I have and you know that I know exactly how you feel over protecting your Son I really hope that the School does do something as it seems to me the Schools are getting worse They are frightened of these Kids including their Parents I am so glad that I do not have Kids any more at School as I think I would be on tender Hooks all the time I really hope that they will sort something out so your Son is able to do his Exams and then get away from there Hugs to you Sweetie
@gemini_rose (16194)
16 May 08
Yes my lovely friend I know you have, more than your fair share too. School will not do anything now, it was the official leaving day yesterday, thats why they have not been in touch with me over him having so much time off school. I have been really disappointed in the way that they have treated some of the pupils in that school. I asked my sister in law how her girls were getting on there and they are fine and the teachers are all over them. Why? because they are straight A students and they give the school its higher reports which is what has stopped it being shut down. Hugz xxx
@kiran1978 (4138)
• Australia
16 May 08
You did the right thing, I would have gone up there too and complained and demanded somthing be done about this. I really hope they do take action against these boys. If they don't I would report it to the police ( they usually have school police at the school), especially if they are making threats to your son. I can't believe they are annoying him in his exams, it is meant to be strict conditions in exams, no talking under any circumstances. Does not sound like the school is very strict. I have been upset lately too as my eldest daughter is getting teased at school. She is in year seven. She is an attractive girl, but unfortunately she is getting teased called, "asian, fat, ugly." She is not fat at all she is quite skinny and she is by no means ugly. It really unfuriates me how nasty children can get as I am worried she might start to worry about her weight when she has no need to. I think most of these kids were joking but my daughter takes it seriously. If it continues I am going to see her teacher. But I worry that it might be worse then if these kids know that her mum went to the school and complained.
@gemini_rose (16194)
16 May 08
Some kids are so cruel and spiteful, I can understand you being upset, I would be too, I get so upset and angry when kids are picked on like that. You are right to worry, it is what usually starts weigh worries off, I was teased at school and it was what started my obsession with my weight off. Surely you can see the teachers discreetly, I did when my son was being bullied by another boy in his year. My son actually asked me to wait until parents evening before I said something, so that no one would know that I had said something. He is only 7, the teacher was really impressed with his maturity of dealing with it. They already knew that the boy was bullying and so it was sorted out. I hope that it stops with what is happening to your daughter, it is really mean of those kids.
• Singapore
15 Jul 08
Recently,i get bullied by some of my school mates.I was being insulted by them.That day when they were doing this,i just walk past them as if i did not heard or see anything.Is the correct way to deal with bullies?Always got this kind of students in my school..im stressed.
@Debs_place (10551)
• United States
10 Jul 08
Wow, I just read your first post and understand how you feel. Make sure your son is escorted by a teacher at all times. And if the harassment by the kids continue during the exam, call in higher authorities. I have gone to kids homes when my son had bully problems and told the parents if there was one more incident I would be calling the police and have the kids arrested. One of the children already had a sibling that was taken away from the parent because of his bullying the neighborhood kids. I have been stressed but not near as bad as you.
27 May 08
Hi I have just spent the last 30 mins reading your story and all the commnets. What has been going on since you posted? Has the situation been sorted? How are the exams going? Violetdreamslingerie
@ladyljs (1303)
• United States
23 May 08
I am glad that your Momma bear instincts kicked in and that you were brave enough to do something about it...some folks just sit back and let things happen. I don't know how to put a link to one of my conversations in here...but I posted one about a bullie girl whose mother is in the board of education. Everyone believes her lies and not the truth of her so called friends. Maybe you can find it if you type in bullies. ANyway, God Bless You for taking a stand! Your children are very lucky to have a Mom like you!
@jer31558 (3684)
• United States
15 May 08
Yes, I was totally stressed out by my mothers illness, and kept a headache all the time. It didn't matter what I took the headache was still there. I hope that things work out for your son.