Temper, Temper...

Temper... - Temper...
@twoey68 (13651)
United States
May 17, 2008 9:39am CST
Everyone has a temper. Certain things push our buttons and we see red. How we handle that temper is another thing. Also whether or not we can control it. Some ppl yell and scream, some throw things, some hit, some hurt themselves, some walk out and some tear up the house. Most are remorseful when their tempers subside and even upset by the pain, suffering and destruction they’ve caused. Some kids will start patterning their tempers after what they see their parents doing. I have a fierce temper although I have gotten better at controlling it. I used to throw things. I didn’t matter what. I’d see red, grab the nearest thing, and start throwing and yelling. Of course, later I’d be bawling when I saw what got smashed. When my ex and I split up I met a friend who was also a therapist and he helped me a lot. He got me out of the throwing cycle and got me used to walking away when I’m angry. It’s really hard to do sometimes especially with ppl that won’t let it go and follow you when you try to leave. Hubby and I very rarely, if ever, fight though we disagree sometimes and then we just give each other some space until things cool down. How do you handle your temper? Which type temper are you? Do your kids or spouse follow your same type of temper pattern? **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
10 people like this
43 responses
• United States
18 May 08
I used to get so mad that I would throw things. Now that I'm older I don't do it no more I just talk crazy when I get mad now. But I guess having red hair had a lot to do with it that is what they tell me anyway
1 person likes this
@J_Dawgs (217)
• United States
18 May 08
See this is a topic I would have to say that I have an odd response to as I have different tempers (in my opinion). Depending on WHO I am fighting/disagreeing with I may have one temper while on the other hand if it is someone else I may be totally different and handle it much differently either because I need to or because it is just the way I am. Certain family members that are closer to me I might treat one way when I am angry with them. Though others that are not so close will get a totally diffrent side of me because I am not as close with them. Same with friends, close friends might get one side, not so close get another. Though in general personally I would say most of the time I am the type of person that will first try to talk it out. If that doesn't work and it gets worse I will just get more made and storm off before I say something I regret (or I will and won't care at the moment depening on how mad I am). After calming down I will try talking again if possible, if not I will just keep clear and usually play on the computer or watch TV to vent for a while. My two cents... ~*~J_Dawgs~*~
1 person likes this
@valerie37 (981)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
18 May 08
I use to be able to control my temper better than I do now. When I get angry I either get snappy when answering someone about anything at all even if it's not the person that made me angry. Or every other word out of mouth is a curse word.
1 person likes this
@Rosekitty (19441)
• San Marcos, Texas
18 May 08
I used to have a real bad temper since i as a child lived with a father that was abusive, with a mother who would be scared, and sisters that would say and do whatever he asked of us in chores and such. That was my only way of what households were like..so i when i had children I would yell and hit them too...I finally saw myself as repeating the ways, sat down and stopped and cried..grabbed my children and had a long talk with them about me. This was 25 years ago and never laid a hand on them ever since..my children all know i adore them and they me, but i knew that temper had to stop with me or else it would destroy us.
1 person likes this
@littleowl (7157)
17 May 08
Hi Twoey-when I was younger I had a bad temper and if anyone upset me they knew it I but never went through the throwing phase-then I got into a relationship where when i lost my temper I was abused-then got married and my hubby then was always arguing with me but i turned to self-affliction as well as losing my temper guess so i wasn't hurting anyone else or thing but since we've been divorced it takes an awful lot for me to lose my temper infact I'm too soft and placid but when I do I blow and no-one can stand in my way normally they back off!! So now am too placid and find that temper etc is a waste of time,energy and breath unless really needed but just the tone of my voice lets someone know that I'm not happy with them-your friend littleowl
1 person likes this
@grammasnook (1877)
• United States
17 May 08
I have a temper which is under control, I have self taught myself to walk away and calm down and then converse about the issue. 22 years with the same man and he can tell you he gets mad because I wont fight with him lol I just talk in a low voice and shrug. He hasnt tried to fight with me in ages because his temper flares and then he feels like an idiot because I am too under control lol
1 person likes this
@meiteoh (421)
• Switzerland
17 May 08
Mine is more of a "keep it, hold it until it explodes and then five minutes later, it's back to normal" kind of temper. It takes a lot to really piss me off; when I do explode, I just keep really quiet and start crying. I don't know why I do it - sometimes I think it's because I don't want to say stuff that are hurtful but it hurts me to even think that I ought to say stuff like that to people I care about. My parents have mellowed down over the years but my mum is more of the type who explodes and holds it for eons plus she likes the cold shoulder treatment. My dad is a little more like me. My brother on the other hand has a short fuse. These days he has mellowed down a little but it used to be worse. My hubby is slightly like me but imagine more drama. He'll stalk away and then come back after five minutes, all forgiving and calm. He doesn't see the point of being angry forever and will often want to discuss it which is sometimes difficult for me because I just want to calm down. Getting angry and staying angry really drains me A LOT.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 08
i have a very bad temper,once i'm riled to that point.i just go somewhere until i feel like talking to that person again,if ever.
1 person likes this
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
17 May 08
When I get angry I walk away and I usually cry. I cry when I am happy, sad, mad ... well I am a cryer. My husband is learning to control his temper, he used to get mad at people at work and used fowl language but that has toned way way down.
1 person likes this
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
17 May 08
I think the best way to release the anger is to tell those people who are making our life miserable how we feel about them. In my opinion, words have a greater impact to those who hurt us than psysical violence.
1 person likes this
@clei914 (28)
• United States
17 May 08
I, admittedly, sometimes have a horrible control on what I do when I'm angry. Other times, though, I control it well. When I'm controlling it well, I tend to listen to music that has angry, violent tones and lyrics. That makes me feel better, like someone identifies with me. It makes things seem "not so bad". When I'm angry and I have no outlet, I tend to cry. I don't know why I have this reaction, but it seems easier to be sad then to be angry. The unhealthy aspect of my anger is that, at times, I'll say things that I don't mean. I've been told that I have this amazing ability to say exactly the right thing to hurt or make another person just as angry as I am. It's not something I'm proud of....but it is something I need to work on.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16193)
17 May 08
I used to have a nasty temper, I could be short tempered with certain things, like if something did not do what I wanted it to do then I would simply throw it or stamp on it. Then I had the nasty temper which came from too many people picking on me, I would take so much and then I would just see red, flip out and beat hell out of them. I must admit that since I have had four children this side of me went to sleep, and I am so placid now that I have been walked over in the most cruellest way and never lifted a finger. Ten or more years ago the person would have been in hospital. I put it down to having the kids that has just totally chilled me out. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments where I totally lose it, but not half as much as I once did. My eldest son has my temper, he is 16 now and how he is, is how I was when I was his age. I reckon he will get out of it though just like I did.
1 person likes this
@Elixiress (3893)
17 May 08
I have never really seen red as I have good control of my temper and I can sense when I am going to get angry and avoid the situation. I am very calm when angry, the only way you can tell that I am angry is that I am quieter and more sarcastic. My partner has quite a short temper and shouts when he is angry and breaks stuff, but I can control it and he is fine once I give him a hug and ask him to calm down.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jun 08
Well at first I try to stay calm about the situation but if its a person that just doesn't know when to stop, I'll either walk away with anger or yell back at them. I never do try to fight, I think thats a bad way to resolve your anger, it can only make it worse. Its better to try to talk about things, or to just get away from the situation. I'm pretty sure that if I were mad enough, however, I would grab the nearest object and throw it at the problem because everyone has limits! That would be last resort.
• Australia
15 Jun 08
I have a pretty bad temper. In the past, I used to scream, throw things and mess up my room. Gosh, thankfully i've grown up. I still lose it with my kids, but only ever raise my voice (probably why I have none alot of the time). I have to do something to be heard over the racket they create. Over the years, I have learned to control my temper and to toughen my skin so that I don't get offended or upset easily. I think I do a pretty good job these days, but having the occassional spat with my partner where we end up in a heated discussion just helps to clear the air and tension. Doesn't happen very often, and we have our brooding corners for after. I reckon I win more of our debates though! lol.
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
4 Jun 08
It takes alot to push my buttons and I am slow to get mad but when I do I blow like a volcano mostly just crying and screeching but not really throwing stuff or hitting others I don't believe in hitting others. Now my mom she does as you she just grabs and throws of course that is what my granny did also. Me after screeching for a few moments I head to my santuary my bedroom or office and I calm myself down. Hubby is the same way mouths off a bit but that is basically all he doesn't hit or really throw anything. He gets up and goes outside so wew both can calm down.
@mamacathie (3929)
• United States
22 May 08
Well, after all these years I am finally seeing where I "don't find my temper" as often. If someone keeps pushing my buttons and keeps pushing, I can be pushed too far. Then the first thing I do is cry. Then the more I think about it then I start getting mad and madder. I have to stop and give it to God and ask Him to take care of it. That isn't the easiest thing to do but I know that is how I have to handle it. Then after a while, if I feel that I can I will try to confront the situation but most of the time it takes lots of prayer and things just seem to simmer and level out and straighten out. Go figure, LOL, God works it all out.
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
22 May 08
I don't have a problem temper. I get a bit cranky when I perceive things to be not right according to my standards but I don't "see red" and lose control. I might have something to say on the subject at hand and if I'm cross because of something someone has said or done I will usually start cleaning...like wiping down cupboards and stuff like that.
@flowerchilde (12518)
• United States
21 May 08
I have to be really really angry before I get the urge to throw something.. and it's not even so much the anger, but a big frustration! Happily it doesn't happen to me a lot! But when I get angry, I am likely to leave the room.. or yell if it's one of my kids (adults) yelling at me!
@ElicBxn (60884)
• United States
20 May 08
I'm a pressure cooker temper person. I will hold it in until I explode. Then I will raise my voice and slam the door after me.