i just don't know how to deal....
May 17, 2008 10:33pm CST
my life seems so incredibly hectic right now. i really just don't know what to do. i've been with my current boyfriend for the past 2 months. it seems like with us it's always something different. sometimes it's me who starts the arguements and other time it's him. we don't shout out each other or anything, so i guess they could be called heated disagreements. it's just that this happens almost everytime i see him or talking to him. i care about him with all that i have, but for some reason we never seem to be at peace. the real problem is that most of our issues stem from other people. either he has heard some rumor about me or i've heard one about him, and i guess there's so much insecurity in our relationship that we always end up fussing. i have so much going on right now because i'm in school, and i just don't know how to handle the stress of arguing every day. i don't want us to break up. however, i don't see how we can have a healthy relationship if we continuously allow other to interfere. does anyone else have a problem like this? or do you have any advice?
19 May 08
It's difficult when people outside a relationship influence it, whether purposly or not. Only you can know whether in your heart that you trust your partner. If you do, then you need to stop listening to what other people are saying about your partner, and stop feeling the need to confront him with every piece of information you hear from outside sources. Of course, at the beginning of a new relationship, it can be hard to decide whether to trust someone or not. If you do decide to take that leap, then you need to brush off the things that other people say. However, if you can't do that, then it's best to end the relationship. Otherwise you are going to continue arguing, which is obviously getting you nowhere, and simply making you both frustrated.
• United States
18 May 08
You actually hit the nail on the head yourself. You both need to stop letting other dictate to you, it's ruining your relationship. You need to trust in each other, if what the "others' are saying is what happened before you were together, so what. Things that happened before was just that. You should not worry about that. You both need to sit down and decide if you want to continue with this relationship, if so. Make a pact to stop listening to others. You need to respect, and trust each other. Support each other in what you do. You are in school, you need support there...time to study, etc. He works, goes to school whatever he needs support too. It seems before you get together you expect an argument. Stop this cycle! Your relationship is new, you are learning about each other. It needs to be a happy time. Have picnics, a candle dinner, buy each other something small sometimes as a gift just for other heck of it. Relationships take work from both people. I hate to say it but sometimes others hate to see their friend find someone and will sabatage the relationship. I hope this is not part your problem. Many blessing to you both.