What do you do when parents let their children run wild?

United States
May 18, 2008 9:02pm CST
This drives me crazy. I was recently at a family/friends outing and several people were letting their children run wild. They did not correct them at all or they would say a few words and turn back to what they were doing and ignore the any further behavior. What do you do in this case? Do you correct the children or just ignore it as well? Am I the only one who is bothered by this?
5 people like this
13 responses
@sturner03 (326)
• United States
19 May 08
I think it all depends on the situation. IF they are just wining for no reason then yes I would just ignore the situation. I use to be one of these parents, and it's not ignorance (well maybe with some) but often times the parents feels guilty like I did discipling them. I also have a hard time with were the boundry lines are for correcting someone else children. I often will say something if it's a family memeber or a close friend. If it's someone I don't know that well I probably wouldn't out of the fact that I don't want to overstep my boundries, people do it to me all the time and it's the worst feeling in the world .
3 people like this
• United States
19 May 08
I'm the same way, I will corret familly/close friend's children but they were friends of my family I did not know well at all. The kids were not just whining, but were being destructive. They were trying to break a toy and hit each other. I had never seen such brats. I would have been embarrassed if they were my children.
1 person likes this
@maliki2 (255)
• United States
19 May 08
I do understand the saying "kids will be kids" but sometime parents let them go a bit far. I'm in the grocery store and kids are playing with the damn veggies and fruits, throwing them on the ground and at each other, I get a bit annoyed by that. Sometimes you have to put your foot down and I would others would also.
3 people like this
• United States
19 May 08
I hear that. Some folks just have no control over their children. My great-nephew is a handful, he has way too much energy...lol. His parents are forever chasing him down, though. They keep him on a short leash so to speak because they know he is a handful. I don't mind that. It's just when people completely ignore the behavior that it irritates me.
2 people like this
• Philippines
19 May 08
No...im also bothered same as YOu...!! well..that's WHY it is the mean reason of SPOILING the child to their parents...*sigh* so sad to know bout this .. weLL...I'LL BET....parents shall attend seminar that specializes on how to NOt tolerate such BEHAVIOUR of thier child.... @jam@ ~live life~ keep it simple...****
• United States
19 May 08
I like your motto. Life would be simpler if folks would watch their own children.
1 person likes this
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
19 May 08
If it is a family/friend situation then i probaly would ask the kids to settle down a little, before they end up falling or tripping and ending up injured. and if that didn't work i would tell the parents that they may end up getting hurt if they don't calm down .I have actually left get-togeathers when children were let run wild because i dindn't want to be there when one of them ended up injuried,( or worse caused someone else to get hurt) because parents can't be bothered and the kid refuses to listen to anyone else.
• United States
19 May 08
I have left get-togethers myself for that reason. I do not consider myself overbearing or overprotective, but I expect my child to behave in a certain manner. I would leave if my child would not behave, because I would not be able to enjoy myself.
1 person likes this
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
19 May 08
I have never had to leave a family gathering because my children wouldn't listen, i have no problem sitting their little behinds in a chair where i can see them if thats what it takes. My children may try to drive me completley out of my mind at home but in public they would never purposely embarress me by ignoring (espcially if they were being rowdy) me. They truly would get sick of living in their room with no books, games, toys, t.v. and only allowed out for bathroom privilages until they convinced me that it wouldn't happen again.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May 08
Actually, I meant I have left because of other people's children. My daughter would be grounded for life if she ever acted that way and she knows it.
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
19 May 08
I am also bothered by that situation. I have a friend who just allow her kids to run wild, even if they are in public or visiting another house. She can't control them, It gives me headache always and wanted to do something to help but it's hard, I mean when they are use to run and scatter things out even if they are not home, they are very comfortable of doing so! I believe it's the way my friend discipline her kids!
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May 08
10 years ago I worked in a factory and met a young lady who lived near me who had a boy and a girl. The young girl was low in seniority so when she had to work over I would relieve the babysitter for her. Her kids were terrible and she would scream empty threats at them. I had a hard time with the kids until I sat them down and told them how it was going to be. After that they were always good for me and even asked their mom if they could stay with me...lol. I think they preferred the timeout they got from me to the yelling of empty threats. I couldn't handle being around them when their mom was there however, because they went right back to misbehaving and she went right back to screaming at them. It gave me headaches too.
• United States
21 May 08
I agree with you, yelling and screaming is not healthy and effective as well. ONce you will give time to talk to them and let them understand what are your expectations, kids will pay attention though will not perfectly behave but once you will give them the signal that they are beyond the limit, I know they will follow and obey!
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
19 May 08
You just described every family function I have ever been too on my dad's side of the family. They all let their kids run wild. I guess they figure with so many adults around someone will be watching their kids. Or they just expected the oldest of the group to watch the younger ones. I used to always follow my kid around when we were at these things.
1 person likes this
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
19 May 08
I have no problem stepping in and saying something. Children should not be allowed to be rude and disruptive. If it ruins my time, I will leave and I will let the hosts know why I left.
• United States
19 May 08
Good for you nana!
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
1 Jun 08
You are not alone in this. It drives me up a wall and I want to strangle the parents. I have an ex-sister-in-law that is like that. When my neice was little she was into everything and all over the place at one time. When I had my last child, my neice who was about five at the time and would hang right over his face when I was changing him or trying to nurse him. My sister-in-law would use this whiney voice and tell her to get back. And that was all. The kid would keep right on doing what she was doing until I pushed her back and told her to stop breathing in his face. There were a lot of little kids in the family at that time and there were many family functions we just wouldn't attend because of this childs behavior. Fortunately she grew up okay. But more than once I wanted to blister her behind. I really wanted to grab the S-I-L by the front of her shirt, shake her till her eyes rolled around in her head and ask her what in the world was the matter with her. Make that kid behave. Kids that like that are annoying. But the parents are the ones who are 100% responsible for kids that don't listen.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Jun 08
I agree totally that is the parents fault. That's why I stated the question the way I did. Granted all kids act up, but it's up to the parents to draw the line. I used to joke that the greatest compliment to my parenting skills was the fact that I had never been asked to leave my daughter at home...lol.
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
21 May 08
I've had ppl do this and I have stepped in and corrected the child and if the parent says anything I let them know that since they weren't doing the job, somebody had to. Having kids is also about teaching them how to behave when they are out in public as well as at home. I don't blame the kids as much as the parents for not doing a better job. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
1 person likes this
• United States
21 May 08
I have to agree with you about it not being the child's fault. I envy your chutzpah, I try to avoid confrontations when possible.
@mimm45 (168)
• Australia
20 May 08
I don't mind it when kids play around but when they get 'wild' it really irritates me. I wait for the parents to correct their behaviour. If I know the parents, I tell the kids to behave. If not, I glare at them. It is not a very effective way of correcting them but I also don't want to go into trouble with the parents. Some can be really sensitive regarding their kids.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 May 08
I know. That is the hardest part. I don't want to have a confrontation with a parent over their children because I am the type to say "if you don't like it take control of your kids." At the same time, I do not want to cause waves by...well, pointing out their lack of parenting skills.
• United States
19 May 08
yes kids will be kids but there is a line of behavior they should not just be running wild thats how kids get hurt or dont respect other people or their stuff
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May 08
I agree. My daughter is far from perfect, but then again I'm sure I'm far from perfect as a parent...lol. I expect her to show her manners, though. I remember when she was real little, I asked her about her manners one day when she went to stay with my niece for a night. I asked her "do you have your manners?" She answered, "yes, they are in my pocket right here" and pointed to the pocket on her overalls. After that I always asked if she her manners and she would always say yes, and tell me they were in her pocket. It was a great way of reminding her to behave with a laugh.
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
19 May 08
I am not a mother yet but, I would be a Mom like my Mom was with my siblings and me. My Mom always knew when we would be a little less than well behaved in public way before the time came to go. She would pay close attention to us the day of the outing and, the minute we started to act up, she would threaten us. She would tell us that she and dad would be going out without us if we didn't straighten our acts out. And, if it was just one, or even two of us, she would threaten to take the better behaved sibling with them, leaving us with a babysitter. The jealousy factor was a great way to bribe us to behave better or risk seeing one or both of our siblings (there were 3 of us) go off to some fun dinner outing, a movie or even shopping with Mom and Dad while one or 2 of us had to stay home with the babysitter. And, the threats didn't stop there. If we did manage to calm down and act like civilized people, my Mom would tell us that if we didn't continue to behave, Dad would bring us back home and then there would be heck to pay for making him miss out on the a portion of the fun by having to drive us home, get the babysitter, and then drive himself back to the fun. We behaved in public. Period. There was no other choice. And, they did follow through with their threats to leave us home on occasion too, when we ignored their threats. It drives me crazy when parents let their kids run around all willy nilly, yelling at the tops of their lungs. I understand that, to some extent, parents tend to learn how to tune their kids out at home and, I think it isn't too hard for them to tune them out when they are in public too. But, they shouldn't! It is annoying to others and, it makes others mad at them and think that they aren't good parents. Then there are just some parents who don't care or, they think that that behavior is cute and therefore that everyone angrily staring at them and their kids, are all looking endearingly at the lot of them. Ugh! The cluelessness! LOL!
1 person likes this
@jonesy123 (3950)
• United States
19 May 08
It drives me crazy, too. We don't let ours run wild. But it is difficult to control them, when they see other kids' parents let theirs run wild. There is really not much you can do, if you don't even know them or are just acquainted. If it is relative, it depends on what the kids do. I will correct them if the behavior would potentially cause harm to my family or our property. However, in any situation, if our kids start imitating the behavior they will get a LOUD reprimand letting the other kids (and their) parents know that the behavior is not acceptable and why. Sometimes it works to shame the parents into doing their job. But there are those who really don't care, not even if their child is about to run under a truck. I will never forget the 'oh, she would have stopped'. Eh, no, my hubby caught her the last moment by tackling her from the side. You wouldn't believe how angry the parents were about my husband doing that. Some parents simply don't care!
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May 08
I have to agree some parents do not care. It's sad really, I feel for those kids. As for your husband, kudos to him for saving that girl. I don't even know what to say about her parents' reaction. That just amazes me. I remember when my daughter was very young and hadn't been walking long. I was doing the dishes and she got the front door on me. My neighbor saw her and brought her back to me. I was so thankful because I know she could have been seriously hurt or worse. I stopped doing the dishes and went to the hardware store and bough a hook and eye for the screen door and back door immediately. It scared me real good.
@coffeebreak (17820)
• United States
19 May 08
I would love to know the answer to that one! I hate it too! I mean how hard is it to control them - well I guess first you have to want to and that would mean teaching them manners and of course, we have to be politically correct to do that and what's so policitally correct about manners!!?!??!?!? I mean, isn't it a violation of civil rights to insist that a child sit in a chair at the dinner table - doesn't it invade his privacy to be told how to act properly!?!? Good grief....No you are not the only one who is bothered by this! even my 8 YO GD will comment on unruley children. "why don't she sit down and eat her dinner? It's getting cold"
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May 08
So true about being politically correct...lol. Sounds like your GD has been up right that she comments on the bad behavior. Good for you!