Having children after 30.

@sunnflr (2770)
United States
May 18, 2008 9:14pm CST
Did any of you have your children after you were thirty years old? I have a friend who had her first child when she was 17, and then she had her son when she was 32. He was not planned for, but they were happy anyway. She actually says she thinks it's better to have children later. What do you all think?
3 people like this
13 responses
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
1 Jun 08
i have four children and i got pregnant with my first born when i was just 21. but my sister got married when she was thrity and after five years she is five months pregnant now on their first baby. she is kind of scared and her doctor is telling her that it is risky because of her age. but she is taking all the right steps, and doing everything her doctor is advising. she will be giving birth on september.
@sunnflr (2770)
• United States
1 Jun 08
I wish your sister all the best. If she follows her doctors orders and takes care of herself she will hopefully be fine. More and more women are waiting until their 30s to have children these days, so doctors know how to help them better.
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
1 Jun 08
but for me having experiencing kids at around 21, i think the right age to have children is about 25 to 27 (for ladies) well it is just my opinion. it is hard to keep up with children if you are on your thirties. just imagine toddlers who are like tops and torpedoes it is not easy to cope up with their energy if the woman is above 30. well it is easy if you have a nanny with you but if you will be a hands on mom it is not easy for kids are so energetic. how about you what do you think?
1 person likes this
@sunnflr (2770)
• United States
2 Jun 08
Personally I wouldn't have been able to do it if I'd waiting until my thirties. That's because I have health problems now that I didn't back then. I had my son at 18, and I'm really glad I did!
@checapricorn (16072)
• United States
28 May 08
I guess if stable, it is better to have children at a young age. I am 31 but I have no kids yet and I think I am not yet ready...LOL, My friends will always tease me and I will always tell them, I will just borrow from my sister!
1 person likes this
@sunnflr (2770)
• United States
28 May 08
Hey if you aren't ready then it's good you are waiting. And, when you borrow someone else's and they get on your nerves you can always return them..lol. It makes for good practice.
• United States
28 May 08
hahahaha...you got it right! Everyone find that funny really every time I will tell them that I will just borrow from my sister!But, I know I love to have my own but not this time nor next year!I am not yet ready!
1 person likes this
@sunnflr (2770)
• United States
13 Aug 08
You'll know when you are ready. It's definitely not something to rush in to.
@SViswan (12095)
• India
19 May 08
I had my first child when I was 24 and my second when I was 30 (a month short of my 31st birthday). the first one was a normal delivery and the second a C-section. Besides the fact that I was a little tired the second time with more things to do than when I had my first son, I didn't feel any difference. I think it depends on how healthy one is when they are going to have a baby. If one is physically healthy, then age doesn't really matter. And personally, the age gap (6+ years) worked for me.
1 person likes this
@sunnflr (2770)
• United States
19 May 08
I always thought if I had more than one child I'd want 2 years between them. But, I've had alot of people say the same as you, that 5 oor 6 is better because the first child know more already.
@SViswan (12095)
• India
20 May 08
My main reason was that I don't have family around and I wanted the older one to be independant before I had the second one so that I could concentrate on the baby without the older one feeling left out. But I'd say a career oriented job should have a smaller gap between the kids so that the kids grow together and the woman does not lose out on the career.
1 person likes this
@sunnflr (2770)
• United States
29 May 08
That makes a lot of sense. I don't see how people do it who have 3 or 4 very small children all at once. I know they manage somehow but I bet it's not easy much of the time.
• Singapore
9 Aug 08
I had my daughter when I turned 31. I wonder if I will have another...
@sunnflr (2770)
• United States
9 Aug 08
Do you want more children? Are your financially able to handle more? Did you have any health problems during the first pregnancy? These are all questions I'd ask myself if I were trying to decide.
• United States
9 Aug 08
Happens all the time but what most people don't fear is that those late life children often have health problems in early years that are usually related to adult aging.
1 person likes this
@sunnflr (2770)
• United States
9 Aug 08
So far everything is working out for my friend that had her baby in her 30's. He is a bundle of energy though!
@spalladino (17927)
• United States
28 May 08
I have four children and had my last one at age 35 after an 8 year break. She wasn't planned either but I enjoyed being pregnant with her and every step of her growing up since I wasn't so busy with the other three.
1 person likes this
@sunnflr (2770)
• United States
28 May 08
Yeah that would make a difference when you already have older children. I know back years ago the older children helped out alot with younger ones because people had so many. I'm sure that's still the case somewhat today.
@Anne18 (11036)
21 May 08
I had three of my children in my 30's and one in my 20's. Nothing happened after I had our daughter at 25, for many years and then I got preggie at 34 and had a son and then again two years later at 36 and had girl/boy twins. I was just happy to have some more children, but having three close together is much more hard work. I think it depends on who you are and when you decide when to try and have a baby. Years ago if you haven't finished hacving your family by your late 20's you were looked at, nowadays it is quite normal for a lady to start her family in her late 30's or even early 40's. I wonder where that leaves the phase "Life begins at 40". That phase came about as you had your children in your 20's and they would be leaving the nest around the time you turned 40 and hence that phase!! I wonder what phase we should use today!!
1 person likes this
@sunnflr (2770)
• United States
21 May 08
I don't know, but I'm sure they have one. They have phrases for everything else! I'm glad you were able to have more children since you wanted more. And, I'm glad everything went good with all of them.
@Essie119 (673)
• Canada
21 May 08
All of my children have been born since I turned 30. The 1st at 30, 2nd at 31 and 3rd at 33. While I might have had more energy if they'd been born earlier - now I know they are the most important thing there is and I'm not missing anything by being home with my children.
1 person likes this
@sunnflr (2770)
• United States
21 May 08
Congratulations! I'm glad you are getting to stay home with them. I stayed home with my son when he was small also.
@sacmom (14338)
• United States
20 May 08
No, I had both of my children when I was in my 20's. But my mom had my sister and I when she was in her 30's. Although she wanted children before this, it just never happened until later on in life. But I don't think it is necessarily any better having children after thirty. After all, having children at any (adult) age should be considered a blessing.
1 person likes this
@sunnflr (2770)
• United States
20 May 08
True. I just wondered what other's thought after talking about it with my friend, and getting her take on it.
@lilybug (21182)
• United States
19 May 08
I had my first kid when I was 21 and my second when I was 28. I don't really think there is a right or wrong age to have children as long as you are healthy. I think I had more energy though when I was 21.
1 person likes this
@sunnflr (2770)
• United States
19 May 08
This would have been a major concern for me. My health really went down hill when I turned 30. There is no way I could have raised a small child after that time. But, when I had my son I had plenty of energy and we had lots of fun.
@jonesy123 (3950)
• United States
19 May 08
I had all three of mine in my thirties. Energywwise it's easier when one is younger. I do wear out faster now than I used to in my 20s. Still, I wouldn't have been as calm and rational a parent as I'm now. I have done all the things I wanted to do and can concentrate on my kids. I'm also financially more secure. That makes it a bit easier;)
1 person likes this
@sunnflr (2770)
• United States
19 May 08
Yeah, the financial part is usually easier on people when they are older. Although, as with us, sometimes life kicks you in the teeth when you are in your 30s and you have to start all over. It wouldn't have been any easier on us to have had our son when we were 30, than when we were younger.
@Gemmygirl1 (2871)
• Australia
28 May 08
My cousin had a baby 13 years ago & now (i believe she's 34 or 35 now) she's pregnant with her 2nd baby. I think if you believe you're up for it at the later age then it's ok, just make sure you can still keep up with the kids when they're growing up & such as you need a lot of energy! I think it's safer to have children younger - the body just handles it all better & recovers better the younger & healthier you are! If you'd rather wait then that's cool too as long as you know the risks involved & the possible problems that can happen when you leave it until later on!
@sunnflr (2770)
• United States
28 May 08
Yeah I agree with you. If it's a choice then do it whenever you think is best. For my friend it was a surprise. They didn't think they could have children and then there she was pregnant. But, they were still happy and it's all working out.
@kblakley (248)
• United States
19 May 08
I had my first child when I was 29 and my second at 31. Most of my friends had at least one some even two by the age of 20 and I think its better when your older. I felt more ready then my friends did and they would agree. One of my closest friends and her first at a young age (20) and then had her second at age 30 and she agrees with me, we're more ready to settle down and do what is truely needed for our children now that we're older. I can't image having a child at 16 like my brother and his girlfriend did. I would of been so much more scared and nervous and I don't think I would of been responsible enough to take care of a baby. This is just my opinion.
@sunnflr (2770)
• United States
19 May 08
That is the same thing my friend said. She wasn't mature or responsible enough when she had her daughter at 17. Luckily she had her parents to help. I had my son at 18, and we all did fine. He is a well adjusted kid who is an honor student, very intelligent, and we still get along well even though he's 16..lol. I think it depends on the person mostly.