Which would you prefer, to be wanted or needed?

United States
May 19, 2008 1:52pm CST
I prefer to be wanted.I would like to be the person my guy looks forward to being with, not the person he needs but may or may want or even like.I guess that is why I have always seen myself as a better mistress or girlfriend than a wife.How about you?Which would you prefer?
2 people like this
8 responses
@magrylouyu (1632)
• United States
19 May 08
I think I would have to agree with you. I would prefre to be wanted. I am married and I know my husband needs me but I would rather feel wanted by him. When we are apart I would rather we want me there with him rather then just need me there.
2 people like this
• United States
19 May 08
Don't assume he Only needs you. He may want you too.
1 person likes this
@kerriannc (4281)
• Jamaica
19 May 08
I prefer to be needed. When a person want something it only last for just a second or a day. But when you are needed that is for a life time.
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@Ben101 (120)
• United States
19 May 08
i luv being wanted its very nice to know that your loved and even when your wanted and needed its jus not the same
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@jillhill (37384)
• United States
19 May 08
I would rather be wanted.....my kids and family need me...but when it comes to personal relationships I would rather be wanted...
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@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
19 May 08
Hello sarahruthbeth22!:-) Interesting discussion! I like to be needed for a want and I like to be wanted for a need, if that makes sense? I'll try to explain. I would like that I am always available for my partner, be it just for being close, present and for a company or anything she needs me for. And, while thinking about this "want vs need" scenario, isn't wanting, as you describe it, precisely 'for a need', physical and emotional satisfaction that is. Needs are not just material things, there are psychological, emotional, spiritual and even social needs and when we 'want' someone, we are actually calling for a certain 'need' to be fulfilled. So, in conclusion, I like to be wanted as much as I like to be needed. I don't know if I was able to convey my point!
• United States
19 May 08
I think I understand.You want to be wanted for the needs you bring. And needed for the things she wants.Right?I think it is great when you want And need your partner in equal parts.I know that I would like to be wanted more.I feel that a desire is stronger than a plain need. You can ignore what is there that you need, but if you really desire something, you can't ignore it.I Know you don't but there are men who will ignore their partner after a while and I wouldn't want that to happen so I prefer to be a desire over a need.
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@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
20 May 08
I see your point, sarah, and I know that some people leave or look down on their partner after some time. I like to think that they didn't really love them in first place and only got around for some physical or other 'needs' but not the emotional part. They might have confused their physical or some social needs with love. It is possible that they loved but then they stopped loving, but to me this is not an understandable phenomenon. In this case, I would say that I need my partner 'because' I want her and I don't want her because I need her. Desire to me is also a need, in itself, an emotional or psychological need. And, as I said before, it boils down to one type of need or another. I think we only have problem with definitions, quality and different dimensions of 'words', otherwise we are on same page!:-)
1 person likes this
• United States
20 May 08
I think so too. It sounds like you want your partner, I mean that she is your personal choice, rather than needed a mate and she just happens to be the one. The latter is definitely what I don't want to be.Desire is a need but it is more intense than just needing someone, anyone. If he desires me, it is I not just any woman that will do.you seem to have what I thought I could never have, a passionate love affair mixed with marriage.I always thought I could have one Or the other but not both , at least with the same person.
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@lorelai (1558)
• Italy
19 May 08
I like to be wanted but not only by my boyfriend by my friends too. It is great when people want to go out with you and when they know that if you go out with them they'll enjoy themselves. Although needed doesn't neccessarily has to mean not wanted but I really prefer being wanted rather than needed because wanted implies free will and happiness while needed implies something imposed.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May 08
That's it. I prefer to being wanted because he has the free will to choose , where needing someone Does imply something imposed. He needs me but that doesn't mean he likes or wants me.
• United States
20 May 08
I want to be wanted. Needed means they suck the life out of you. LOL
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@excellence7 (3477)
• Mauritius
20 May 08
I don't really understand the difference between needing and wanting someone, but I guess that it varies from bonds to bond..Yet, whether needing or wanting is insignificant if each of the couple is firmly dedicated to his mate..