The Idea of Getting Married...

United States
May 19, 2008 3:12pm CST
I know it seems strange, but it's never been that big of a deal to me. Even as a kid, when all the other girls were planning their wedding colors and deciding where they would have it...I just didn't care. It could have something to do with how many divorces I dealt with as a child..I don't know. As an adult, I have always felt the same. I have been with my partner for more than eight years..and marriage has never been a plan for me. However, now that he and I are finally starting to part ways or grow apart, I am beginning to open up to the idea. It may not be with him (most likely not, actually), but I actually think I like the idea now. For once, I kind of wonder what kind of wedding I will have and what it will be like to be Mrs. something or other. So, now that I have warmed up to the whole idea, I am pretty late in the game. I like the idea of an outside wedding..but I picture it being with a beach in the background. Have you always wanted to get married? When did you start "planning it out"?
4 people like this
17 responses
@ladym33 (11008)
• United States
19 May 08
I used to play wedding as a child, so I guess you could say that I have always wanted to get married. Of course I have been married for almost 19 years so I guess I enjoy being married as well.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May 08
wow! 19 years is pretty amazing! Congrats :)
• Australia
20 May 08
Nope,I am the same as you,never really cared too much for the whole wedding thing and me and my partner have been engaged for 5 years,I dont care about the fancy wedding,the vows,the peice of paper etc I just said yes because he asked me basically and now we have been engaged for 5 years and things are turning sour slowly I wonder if we had of got married at the beginning would it have been different and also I dont speak to a lot of my family and I have lost lots of my freinds throughout this relationship so I really wouldnt have a lot of people to invite anyway.But now I am annoyed that the whole fantasty of the day I will never get to have,my freinds tell me its fantastic organising it,feeling like a princess and then the bond you have at the end of it all so it does upset me now and I never thought it would have.I think it happnes to those of us that marry late,or dont know what they wont?oh I dont know??but your not the only one like that thats my point??
• United States
20 May 08
Our stories are actually very similar! It's good to know that I am not the only one with such unusual circumstances...
• Australia
21 May 08
wow I am glad that there are other people out there like me too,I just dont know what I want its hard......all the best and take care.
• United States
19 May 08
Weddings and marriage barely ever even crossed my mind. I was never around people who got married, talked about getting married, talked about weddings, planned weddings, I never even knew any kids who played at weddings. My mother didn't marry my father until she was 31. She didn't even marry her first husband until she was 26. I always assumed I would be a full-time student, full-time career woman and would have to navigate the "dating field" like every other woman, and I really wasn't looking forward to it. I find the whole process to be insipid and trivial, so I really never thought about it. As it turned out, I met someone when I was only 16. We started seeing each other when I was almost 17. After a few months, I decided I didn't want anyone else. We didn't "date", persay, and we certainly weren't "high school sweethearts". We started talking about marriage when I was 18, we were engage when I was 19 and I'm now 21 and we're getting married in ten days. We're not doing it to "commit", we're not doing it to validate, and we're certainly not religious. We're doing it because not only is he going overseas for his job in a year or so and I want to be legally permitted to accompany him, but I don't want to wait 6 years to have legal rights to each other has spouses.
• United States
19 May 08
It's really interesting how things worked out for you. I agree that when I get married it won't be for religious reasons or anything like that. It will just be for legal reasons really. I don't think that a couple needs to be married to be everything to each other that they can be. THanks for your response :) And congrats on your soon-to-be-wedding!!
• United States
20 May 08
Thanks ^_^ I know it's strange, but life is strange. You never know what's going to happen.
• Canada
19 May 08
That's not strange at all. Diferent people have different priorities in life, and diferent things that they look forward to as they grow up. Weddings have always interested me, and now that I get to plan my own (actually it's a renewal of ows, because we eloped!!) it's especially wonderful.
• Norway
19 May 08
wow! you eloped? good for you that you still have each other now and planning to have your wedding. lol.. congrats!
• United States
19 May 08
how sweet! I actually imagined that if I did get married, I would have eloped... you never know! I have a friend that drove to Las Vegas and got married through a drive thru chapel! lol
@kassdaw (593)
• United States
20 May 08
My husband and I got married on Valintines Day 2007. So it has been just over a year. Our son was born in November 2006. We didn't want to get married before I had him, for fear of divorce and what that would put our son through. We wanted to wait and get married on our terms. The first week of February we started talking about getting married in the spring. And my husband doesn't believe in Valintines day and refused to buy me stuff or even take me out. So... I said I wanted to get married on February 14. He laughed and said okay, that I would have an entire year to plan and to make it all about me. I immediately stopped him and said no. I mean in a week. So, he went and rented a black and red tux, and bought a red dancing dress and we went to The Hitching Post. I was tomboy when I was little, I never thought about getting married until that day. It just wasn't that important. But I have a great marriage and a perfect baby. I don't regret waiting until after he was born. That way we knew that we could handle a child and a marriage at such a young age.
• United States
20 May 08
That's such a cute story! And now Valentine's day has a much more special meaning :)
@athinapie (1152)
• Philippines
20 May 08
Hi there! That's a good question. I started planning my wedding when I was in third year high school. I remember we had this project about weddings for our class. So I was part of the planning committee. So I was planning the food, clothes, everything. That's when everything started.
• United States
20 May 08
It's like they were getting you ready! lol I actually seem to remember something like that during highschool...I think it was more like a group effort for a mock wedding or something though. MAybe to give us an idea of what it would be like to do all the planning...
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
20 May 08
When I was growing up I dreamed of the wonderful husband, 2 children and the little house with the white picket fence. After a nightmare of a first marriage when I was 16 and finding out I couldn't have children...I was pretty disillusioned. I pretty much gave up on marriage and actually stayed married to my first husband for 23 years (although we were seperated) just so I wouldn't have a lapse of sanity and fall into the marriage mess again. Then I met my Hubby. We were together 6 years before we decided to get married and we'd been through almost all of life's hurdles in that 6 years...disability, loss of a loved one, moving, money problems, you name it...we got married almost 2 years ago and it's still going good. As for what kind of wedding...to be honest I never wanted a big wedding...I've just always seen them as a waste. The first marriage I was married in the judge's chambers and the second time was here in our apartment. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
• United States
20 May 08
That's a pretty interesting story..the way things worked out for you. I'm so sorry that your dreams of a family didn't work out the way you had hoped. It seems that it rarely happens that way for anyone. And having a small wedding like you did is a great idea. It still means the same thing, no matter what the size or expense!
@evansw (43)
• Indonesia
20 May 08
When the time comes, your heart will guide you. I remembered before I was married, I couldn't even imagine about getting married and where the money would come from. Later on, I simply found out that I had the money required and things seemed to be prepared for me. I just needed a little more effort and voila, all was done. Same thing for feeling. I'd seen my friends that seemed hesitate about getting married, but all of a sudden, they arranged everything and got married.
• United States
20 May 08
I guess I will just know it when I feel it...
@ambkeb (782)
• United States
20 May 08
Ive always been the same as you...could care less about marriage...wedding that whole deal. I am married now but mostly because he begged and I gave in LOL...this is his second marriag and my first. We've been together for almost 6 years and have two kids together. We have been married exactly a year. He wanted the whole men in tuxes me and bridesmaids in dresses...all that stuff. I just went with it, and hated every last bit of it. I look at pictures and think...well that day sucked. I would have been happy in jeans and a tshirt standing in city hall somewhere. Ive always thought that weddings are pointless. Just hand me the paper to sign saying we are married. LOL
• United States
20 May 08
LOL Thats so funny. So many people feel that way nowadays. A few years back, the guy I am with now had tried talking to me about getting married. I told him that if we did it, I wanted it to be just like you said. Just a quick run up to the courthouse and $15. lol But, lately I guess I've just started changing in things that I want. It may be more of a desire for something romantic and weddings seem to be something of that nature..I dont know.
@aiyreen (286)
• Philippines
20 May 08
I always wanted to have a church wedding or a garden wedding. I want a priest to solemnize the wedding. i want a simple, long white gown. secondary sponsors wearing baby pink. my favorite song being sang acapella by my friend... things like that
• United States
20 May 08
Baby pink sounds really nice...thats a great idea. And I really like the idea of someone singing acapella. Very sweet :)
@Adelida2233 (1008)
• United States
20 May 08
I was the other way actually. As usual I'm completely backward with this stuff. I was obsessed with weddings, not only my future one, but weddings in general. Now that I've actually found a guy that I would consider, and most likely will marry, I'm not nearly as gung-ho about the planning. Yeah, I'm sure once I start actaully planning it, I will really get into it, but at the moment, I don't really care. It's more like, I've found the guy, so it doesn't really matter if/when I get married anymore.
• United States
20 May 08
It's funny how things turn out, isn't it?
@munhozmib (3857)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
20 May 08
Hello, Kemmerlin6. I see no problems in you not dreaming about the wedding a while ago. It's not everybody who wants to share a part of their lives with somebody else, knowing that divorces nowadays are happening in the same quantity that water is flowing. It's pretty easy to sign a paper, seal it with a kiss and start sharing your life with your partner. Then comes the real problems. How real do you love him/her? How will you handle the disagreeings of the marriage? How will you handle the first problems? You must really love the other in order to pass through all those problems and keep together. I, personally, think about marrying someday. I don't want to be "late" for it, but this idea is changing inside of me. I guess there is no age for marriage. Love is a child, and no matter if I'm 22 or 42, I can always marry and have a happy life with my partner. That's what I expect for me. I hope you consider it well before marrying. You know that a part of you will start belonging to someone else, or at least it should be like that. Respectfully, Munhozmib.
• United States
20 May 08
Very, very well said. :)
• Norway
19 May 08
i have witnessed a lot of failed marriages; my grandmother and grandfather, my auntie, my brother and sister (though not separated but i think will almost be to that point); but those experiences were never a hindrance of dreaming to get married someday. well yes, there is "fear" that maybe mine too, will be like theirs, but then, why not take the risk? maybe, mine will end up into a happy ending. lol.. I always dreamed of being a bride, wearing a very nice gown, and walking down the aisle while my groom is waiting for me in the altar.. i dont care whether its a simple or grand wedding, as long as the person waiting for me in the altar is the right one. heheh.
• United States
19 May 08
Aww, well I really hope that you find that someday soon. I guess I might have considered the whole idea of not being interested in it a way to keep me from being disappointed if it didn't happen. I also watched many divorces from up close. My mother divorced 4 times, my father 3 times, my step-father (who i'd grown very close to) once, my sister, and many friends...
• India
28 May 08
Congrats to get married - Congrats 
 getting 
 married
Congrats to get married
@newht351 (74)
• Malaysia
20 May 08
i just start to think about marriage when i finished my study and start work.. since we already in relationship for 6 years, i think we should get marriage. he's the reight person for me (hopefully).. so, i start plan my wedding slowly, saving and find the best things to do during my wedding.. the wedding shouldnt be so expensive. small but full of happiness wedding is my dream..
• Canada
20 May 08
I've never been very into the idea of getting married or having a huge wedding. I never planned it out - never even thought about it really. Even now, the only reason my Fiance and I are getting married is because we "think it's about time". Planning it has actually been quite difficult because I don't care enough! *laughs*
@hellcowboy (7383)
• United States
19 May 08
I have always wanted to get married,even when I was a kid,and I have always dreamt about the one I would marry,now that I am with my fiance,and we are planning our wedding for next year,I am very excited,and I cant wait for us to say our vows,and I can wait to call her my wife,and be with her forever.