Mother In Law

@salonga (27965)
Philippines
May 20, 2008 4:52am CST
My friend has a problem with her mother in-law. Most of the time she would cry to me to narrate her sour encounters with her. According to her, her mother in-law usually meddles in their affairs, very dominating and sometimes even jealous of the love being given to her by her husband. Worst thing is that they are living with her mother in law. I have adviced my friend time and again to just be patient with her and never lose the resepct because after all she is the mother of her beloved husband who could not have possibly been brought up in this world without her. I also told him to convince her husband to find a separate house for them because this is the right thing to do. But the problem is his husband would not agree and would just tell her to understand his mom. Please could you help my friend on what she should do to convince her husband to separate? I would really appreciate hearing from you.
2 people like this
4 responses
@p_vadla (1688)
• India
20 May 08
There is a syndrome called 'Mother-in-law' (MIL) syndrome.While women seem to suffer from this overtly, men suffer silently.There are extremes in both cases. Men too suffer tyranny inside but never express outside for the fear that they may be termed as 'incompetent'.Most people tend to learn these behaviors from their elders. They forget that they too were once daughters-in-law. While living separately from in-laws may not offer immune from human suffering and pain,try if a common solution can be found. If your in-laws willing, it should be an easiest thing to live separately. If you have children it is better to have elders with yourself for good.
@salonga (27965)
• Philippines
21 May 08
You have points there, thanks a lot, it helps!
@spoiled311 (5502)
• Philippines
20 May 08
is it that her mother in law is alone and old already that her hubby doesn't want to leave? i dunno, yeah it sounds sacrificial, but i think that your friend can benefit if she also changed the way she deals with her mother in law. i am not saying that she is unkind now, but if she changes her attitude, you know, more accepting, more loving, i think her mother in law would also change. and it helps to pray for both husband and mother in law. if she wants to leave and her husband doesn't, she can pray for wisdom for all of them. it is so good to have a loving relationship with in-laws. i hope that they can resolve their conflict to avoid a stressful life.
@salonga (27965)
• Philippines
21 May 08
Yes, I do hope so too. Thanks for your reply!
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
2 Jun 08
It is difficult to answer this without knowing just why they are living with his mother or how old they are. Why does her husband refuse to find a place of their own? If the mother in law were elderly and needs him then he still should have a place of his own and have her living in his house. It is hard to for your friend to have much say on things in someone elses home.
@greenline (14865)
• Canada
24 May 08
I have heard of life stories like that. Mother-in-laws can be bossy at times. But, again, it may not be getting bossy. It may be giving the best advice. So, it just needs to see your mother-in-law as your own mother, feel her as your own mother. That might ease the situation for all members of the family ! Wish you happiness !