Chores That Dont Get Done.

United States
May 21, 2008 9:52am CST
So as many of you know I have two boys ones 8 and the other is 7. They have chores but it seems they never get done right. So Im asking for some advise on chores in general. What are appropriete chores at this age? Do you do an allowance if so how much? I dont like giving money but does it really work? What the heck do you do to get them to do them right?
8 people like this
37 responses
@shymurl (2768)
• United States
21 May 08
my son is 10 and my daughter is 8, their chores are to clean up their room. they help pick up the living room, sometimes they will help with laundry and taking the trash out. its hard to get them motivated to clean their rooms. usually if they want something like to play in the pool, or go to a friends house, I tell them only if their room is clean, and I check it to make sure its clean. I tell them even as you get older you have to do things you don't always want to, but its things that have to get done. as an adult if you want things you have to work for the money to pay for all of it. might as well get use to it now. they seem to understand and do it without fuss. good luck.
3 people like this
• United States
21 May 08
Youre lucky my kids will just hide stuff so it looks clean. You wouldnt beleive the places I found things lol.
• United States
21 May 08
That is always great idea. These everyday stuff have to be done before moving on. I agree upon this subject a lot. I do not think I will ever be married at all. I don't think I will even have a new family at all with kids. Well, I make sure everything is well organized and maintained. So tell the kids that they have to do all the chores before they could move on.
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (11508)
• United States
21 May 08
We paid by how well the job was done, as we wanted her to know that quality of work is always important. She is an adult now and does her best in her job. I think its important to take pride in how its looking and it doesn't matter how old you are now. We would discuss the salary, as felt it would help her in her future years when she started working for money somewhere else. This discussion would take place on the job site when she finished. I think parents shouldn't just hand over the same amount all the time. My daughters are spaced so far apart that chores could only be done by one at a time. Some chores are easier with two people. I think young children should be able to keep their room clean, put away their clothes, fold the towels and help with the cooking. My daughter would get me the ingredients, do some measuring, and help clean up. The chores need to be reasonable, as we don't want our children to always work. One of my friends would tell me this one often, as she never felt our youngest daughter had enough fun. If she sees this post, then we can ask her.
• United States
21 May 08
I try to keep the list of chores minimal so they can still have fun but they will turn a 5 minutes job of cleaning the table off into a two hour job sometimes. They act like I ask too much of them sometimes and I know I dont. But they seem to think they should get rewarded even if they dont do a good job as long as its done and I wont do that. As in the real world if you do a poor job yes you will get paid as they cant steal your paycheck but you will get fired.
1 person likes this
21 May 08
Even a simple chore, that is asked every day, may seem too much. They maybe turn a 2 min chore to two hours, because they have to do it often an got bored?
@jahrock (111)
22 May 08
Minnie, this is as close as we get to somebody starting WW3! Just think for a moment of the meaning of that word CHORE! According to the Oxford Concise dictionary, it means "a routine or tedious task, especially a household one." Once upon a time when people of my generation were 7 and 8 years old, it was taken for granted that all children of that age were helping with the household jobs, partly so we could learn how things worked, partly so our mother would know exactly where we were at all times, partly so our fathers didn't have to worry about any mischief we were causing or getting into, and partly because THEY, as we called all adults, hated the thought that we might have nothing to do. For the lucky few, we got small rewards, and the variety was enormous. Some got extra treats, from sweets to fruit, others got the first hot cookies after a session of helping with the baking of same, and eventually we got monetary rewards. In today's world, some people make the mistake of starting the monetary rewards far too early, and then it becomes 'bribery' rather than 'reward'. The main thing for you, however, is that PEER PRESSURE is a far bigger influence today, so your starting point has to be with the neighbouring parents. When the kids get together, what is the norm in your neighbourhood? At the very least, you should encourage the boys to be helpers in and around the house, helping you by keeping their room, toys, clothes tidy, helping their dad washing the car, sweeping the leaves......get the drift? Emphasise their role in the FAMILY, the part they have to play in the HOME, the need for them to HELP! Most of all you have to make it fun and enjoyable, rather than dull and boring, even if they will get a reward at the end.
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
21 May 08
I do think an allowance works and works well at any age. Only give them chores you think they can handle for their ages such as straightening up their room(s), maybe folding some of their laundry and putting away in drawers. If you have a pet, taking the animal outside when necessary. I found if I was too critical of my kids and their chores, they lost interest. They sort of have to work at their own pace but set the ground rules that you want something done by a certain time. Maybe make allowance day on a Friday and explain the chores must be complete or they won't get an allowance. I can say this all worked well for me and we had three daughters.
2 people like this
• United States
21 May 08
Daughters i am starting to think it may be that they are boys even money hasnt helped its not worth it to them lol. I just gotta get my little bums motivated.
1 person likes this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
21 May 08
Sometimes a good bribe works really well....lol
2 people like this
• United States
21 May 08
Good question Minni and if you figure it out let me know :)).... honestly Sweetie, I have found that sometimes my expectations are to high and what they think is a good job , is not my standards. So I have to adjust my way of thinking. NO I have never given a money allowance, but if the week has been good then the privileges for the weekend is met, going roller skating, or to the skate park, helping buy that CD they want. 7 and 8 year olds are very capable of keeping their rooms picked up, the trash taken out and looking after household pets. They can put away their own laundry, as long as you remember that their drawers are going to be a bit of a mess. They can keep the yard clean of trash and debris. If my kids bulked at chores, then things like the playstation, computer and telephone get taken away, or limited. These are not things they are entitled to, they are a privilege to have and use. Anyway Minni thats how I have always handled things.
2 people like this
• United States
21 May 08
You sound alot like me in this area. I do understand they are kids and things wont be like id do them but when they start hiding things this makes me so mad. Like laundry they help me with this but they have started hiding dirty clothing so we dont have alot to do. But mom knows when clothing is missing you little sneaks.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 May 08
rotflmao Ouch Yes we do Mom :)) that was funny Ya little sneaks!
2 people like this
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
21 May 08
I have a friend who got 8 years old and 4 years old girls. She is assigning them to clean their own room, keep their own things, toys etc. The 4 years old used to ask her $1 dollar every time she can clean her room and arrange her stuff neatly!LOL! Words to appreciate what they are doing is enough but for kids, It is also great to give them award like treat to any place they want to eat once in a while!
2 people like this
• United States
21 May 08
I agree with that sometimes i wonder if giving them cash is a good idea cause they will just think they can get cash for anything they do. And they will just want more and more.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 May 08
I agree with your point and I also ask that to my friend that how if it will register in her mind that every thing she is doing has a counterpart, means $, she said that she explains also that not all the time she will be given a money! if the mom has extra, she will be given if enough for what they need, no money also for her! but, if she will spoil the kid without limitations, I know it will not give any good result!
2 people like this
@flowerchilde (12520)
• United States
21 May 08
Yes, I think a little bit of money helps.. and I never minded, as it does show just how it is one obtains money.. beware, however, and I do mean beware... the (er) advance! Yes, you may want to never, no never, ever, grant an advance.. as then it really does become more of a chore for you to get the paid for chore(s) done let alone done well, than it ever would be for you to do the chore yourself.
• United States
21 May 08
Good advise never give an advance check.
2 people like this
• United States
22 May 08
..to this day if we pay our son to do something, if we pay him all the money before it's done, we'll wait months for him to complete the job..
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
22 May 08
We were not given money, much on my part, as a kid. I was taught to be responsible, since my father worked overseas since I was a kid. So I guess you just have to put in their minds, that they should be more responsible especially in helping their mother (which happens to be you). I guess you can start by telling them by putting their toys and other stuffs in the right place, assist you in some chores like preparing food.
• United States
22 May 08
Thanks I am trying so hard but they just dont care about helping mom some times. Im gonna have to have a good talk with them.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16193)
21 May 08
I have 4 kids as you probably know, I think that I have mentioned it before. They are 16, 7,6 and 2 years old. Well the 16 year old now earns his own money through Saturday work and so the only chores he does is taking care of the bins and washing up of a night time and this is towards his keep. The 7 and 6 year old have set chores that they do each day, these include to keep their room reasonably tidy, I do not mind helping with the beds and polishing and tidying up as long as they show they have tried. They do the wiping up of the night time pots, tidy up their mess and any other little bits I might want a hand with. For their chores they get pocket money each week on a Monday, if they do not do the jobs properly or put up a fuss they get deductions. Out of their money the rules are that they have to put a percentage of it in their savings accounts, then the rest they can spend as they wish, they do not get a fortune and so if they want to buy a decent toy then they have to save up their money to get it. It works, they love seeing their savings grow and we are going on holiday this weekend and they are really pleased because they are able to take a decent amount with them. When we get back off holiday, they have already decided that they are going to be putting even more away instead of buying toys, I am hoping that I have them on the right path and that they will have good money heads on their shoulders for when they are older, lets face it they are going to need all the sense that they can get.
2 people like this
• United States
21 May 08
Sounds like your routine is working well good for you. Hope it rubs off on my kids lol.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23709)
21 May 08
HMMM been there done that - in fact my 14 year old still doesn't do his chores exactly right! lol Every family has their own expectations on chores and whether or not they get pocket money for doing them. I think firstly at such a young age they won't do it properly but if you thank them and say how well they have done but that if they would try to do it this way it could be so much better , they may be receptive! You know your kids best and I am sure that you know what will work on them but I know that not so long ago we started taking so much money off of his pocket money if he didn't do his chores properly and he started doing them much better as soon as he realised we were serious! lol Good Luck! xxx
2 people like this
• United States
21 May 08
Yeah im thinking drastic step will need to be taken here soon. I got a baby coming and dont need to be still fighting with them all day.
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19075)
• United States
21 May 08
If you want to get it done right, they need to see how it should be done first. If it is not done right, ask the to judge their own work in scale from 1 to 10. Make it as fun. Don't be upset. After all, they are still learning.
2 people like this
• United States
21 May 08
Its hard not to get upset cause they know the right way as I have shown them many times yet they are just lazy.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
21 May 08
Make them come back and do it until it is done right. I do give my son a $5 allowance and if he does not do it right, he does not get any of it.
2 people like this
• United States
21 May 08
I am afraid to start an allowance as they wont get it anyways. I said to myself once they do this right i will do allowances but they cant seem to do it right and I dont want to tell them this as bribes.
1 person likes this
@sisterjinx (1136)
• United States
21 May 08
By 7 and 8 my kids were doing things like cleaning THEIR rooms and making their beds. Vaccuuming and sweeping. At that age they helped me with the dishes so they could learn to do them correctly and so I could be sure they were getting done right. They had to help with the laundry. The only things they were doing on their own at that age was vaccuuming, sweeping, general pickup around whatever room they were assigned to. Sometimes I would have one of them wash the windows, but they thought that was fun so it was more like a treat then a chore. lol We would reward them with special things to do. Like if they did all their chores without argument and correctly for a week then we would go to the park on Saturday for a couple of hours. Or we might take them to a movie on the weekend. Or rent a movie they wanted to see. Something like that.
• United States
21 May 08
Ive tried rewards and it doesnt work. Im starting to think my kids are just lazy. I try and work with them yet they still complain. Well they will do it till they get it right as kids need chores I think.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
21 May 08
I always gave my kids an allowance.....for keeping their room picked up..even taking out the garbage. It worked for me for the first time they didn't get paid they really didn't like it! From then on they did their chores. I think it's a good system.
2 people like this
• United States
21 May 08
I may have to try hard cash lol. Ive done point systems to earn prizes like a video game but it didnt work.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16236)
• United States
21 May 08
Everything that you can't be bothered doing LOL those are the jobs you give them haha kidding. Ummm tidying up, dusting, maybe vacuuming, folding washing, putting them away, setting the table, doing the dishes or loading the dishwasher, clearing the table, tidying the yard, raking the leaves, picking up any rubbish outside, umm ok that's all i can think off hand. The only way to get them to do it right is to constantly show them. I know I have to with my five year old and eventually he gets it, may not always be to how I like it, but at least he gives it a try. The more your repeat it the more they will get it I think lol As for pocket money not sure how much to give them. We give our son our loose change after helping out. He is saving towards a big birthday pressie he wants to buy in July so does simple things like help me fold the laundry, set the table, help me tidy up, and sorts. The change could be as low as 5c through to 75c. I know his father gives him more though lol especially when I am at work!
• United States
21 May 08
Thanks I agree give them the jobs you dont want lol. Im just getting mad cause they are doing a awful job now on things they used to do well. I know its warn now and they want to go play but the work still needs to be done.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13896)
• United States
22 May 08
I have perfected this thing my mother use to do. I talk throw my teeth. no child likes to see that face. i know i didn't when i was young. they are at the right age to clean up their rooms, take out the trash, pick up behind themselves around the house. To put dishes away and sweep the floor. even cleaning the bathroom. what i did was have my olders on clean the kitchen and my younger son the living room. I never gave money to do what they should be doning. but if they did extra things around the house i would give them a buck. but not for doing what they are suppose to do. I think the whole idea of paying our children to take care of the home they live in is a bad idea
• United States
22 May 08
I agree i will give money if say they rake the yard or something extra.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13896)
• United States
22 May 08
that is right. if they go out of their way to do more then they are suppose to then you can give then a buck or two. but to pay them to do what they are suppose to do, oh i don't think so. you have to say what you mean and mean what you say. if you tell them to do something and they don't, then you got to get in their A$$ as my mother use to say. you also have to give hugs and kisses when they do what they should. a nice balance
@SViswan (12072)
• India
22 May 08
I have a 7 year old and a 17 month old...both boys. The older one's chores include cleaning his room...making his bed...putting things in place...and making sure he's all set for school the next day before he goes to bed. He also likes to help in the kitchen and I let him when he can. I'm a very strict mom and if he hasn't done what he has to...his room doesn't get cleaned...and if he's late for the school bus because he can't find something in the morning...he doesn't go to school (I had to do it once and he sat home and whined all day). If his clothes aren't in the laundry basket and on the floor in the bathroom, I don't pick them up and don't do his laundry. The younger one puts his plate in the sink when he's done eating and putes his dirty clothes in his laundry basket. He also loves to put clothes into the washing machine when I'm doing laundry. He also puts his toys back after he is done playing. I don't give my older one an allowance for doing his chores. But when he was around 4-5, I made a chart for each month where I would put stickers every time he did his chores without being reminded and when at the end of the month if he had an earlier decided number of stickers, I would buy him something he wanted (there was a limit on the price of the gift too). Once he started doing all his chores without being reminded, I started cutting stickers every time he misbehaved.....and that was more of a challenge...not only did he have to do his chores to get more stickers...but he also had to behave so that he didn't lose any of the ones he got. If he was exceptionally good a particular day, I would give around 3-5 stickers extra for the particular day. This worked for my son...and now I don't even need to do the stickers. Since your kids are now older....you might need to do something to suit their age. Maybe use the sticker or something else they like to motivate them.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 May 08
If I threatened to keep my kids home from school they would for sure not get the work done they dont like school so much.
@SViswan (12072)
• India
22 May 08
lol..then you threaten to send them to school if they don't do their chores. My son didn't go to school because he didn't get his school stuff ready the night before and was looking for something in the morning. I didn't help him and in the process he missed the school bus. Try taking away something they like if they don't do their chores. Or try one chore per child (for example one picks up the toys after play and one makes the bed) and give them one more chore only after they do the one chore without being reminded. It will take longer to for them to do all the chores...but by then it would become and habit and you don't need to remind them.
@My2Cents (291)
• Canada
22 May 08
I have five children 7years and younger. Not only do their chores nt always get done, but neither do mine. Here are 2 suggestions that may help you (and they have helpoed me). Have two charts (one for you, and one for the kids) Assign chores for each day of the week. Of course - you are going to have many more. But this will help your kids AND you stay on track. (assign 2 chores per day to your child) Chores appropriate for 7/8 year old would be the following (and this is what y 7yr old does) -collect dirty laundry -make beds -take light garbage out -put clean and folded clothes away -vacuum their own room (mine loves doing this) -empty dishwasher hope that helps
1 person likes this
• United States
22 May 08
Thanks
@kenzie45230 (3561)
• United States
22 May 08
I don't think you'll ever get a 7 and 8 year old to clean up a room like you would. At that age, my son was expected to pick up his room each day, then we cleaned it together really well on the weekend. By doing that, he learned what was really expected in cleaning up his room. I've always believed that allowances were just given to a child for being part of the family. At that age, my son's allowance was $2 a week. (He's 24 now, so maybe $2 was a lot of money back then.) He also received extra money for doing chores. If if did a really good job of cleaning his room, he might get a 50 cent bonus. If he helped with the dishes, took out the trash, raked leaves, he got extra money.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 May 08
I dont expect it to ever be like I would do it. I just hate that they expect money when they just stuff things into hiding im not paying them for nothing. I dont get paid when i do it right after them.
@vanities (11375)
• Davao, Philippines
22 May 08
Just make them clean the place for a start where they are playing and all toys must be keep on their proper boxes after using it...and dont bribe them with money to just doing it...make them responsible enough at a young age..
• United States
22 May 08
I try but it aint easy. Part of the problem is i am divorced from there dad and when they spend time with him there are no chores or rules. So anything I do is wiped clean after they visit him.
@mentalward (14697)
• United States
22 May 08
I worked out an allowance payment system. They had chores listed and for each one they did, they got a certain amount of money. But! Each chore had a pay scale, depending on how well the chore got done. If they wanted the highest pay for the specific chore, they would do a good job. It worked for me! Guess I have greedy kids, huh? LOL
• United States
22 May 08
I have greedy kids too and thats my issue. I cant encourage this behavior as they do something for someone else and still expect to get paid.