How Well Do You Keep Promises? Especially Ones To Yourself?
By pyewacket
@pyewacket (43903)
United States
May 22, 2008 7:33pm CST
As many of my friends know, I'm not as active here as I used to be, though I do plan to drop by a little bit everyday, but I've limited myself a lot to my time here. Why? Because I made a vow and promise to myself that I would get back to my fiction writing...I'm very active with my article writing and have been doing something of an article writing marathon since last Friday, and this will at least earn me a little extra money (most of my articles have already been accepted..yahoo...)...and just today I sent two email portfolios of my photo work to two separate places for possible publication.
But for too long something was really missing in my life...my fiction writing. Yes, I do get satisfaction in my article writing but it's just not the same...it's not my creative side ...the side that gives me greatest satisfaction and bliss. So I made a vow and promise to myself to get back to my fiction writing.
It got me thinking about promises or vows one makes in general..but more important the promises or vows to do things for ourselves. How often do we really do that? Do you make promises to yourself that you're going to do something, especially something that gives you a sense of accomplishment or achievement and maybe even "bliss"--and do you KEEP them? Or do you set your promises, goals or dreams aside trying to fulfill promises you've made TO OTHERS? In other words, do your promises or vows to do things for yourself take a back seat trying to do things for others? Do you ever reach that point where you think...NO MORE...I got to fulfill MY promises to myself. Okay, maybe some might view this as selfish...but hey, sometimes we DO have to get selfish with ourselves and keep those promises to ourselves.
13 people like this
24 responses
@ElicBxn (63235)
• United States
23 May 08
I agree, pye. I seldom make promises, because if I fail to keep them I feel really bad. I even seldom make promises to myself.
But I do agree that if something gives you a lot of joy, then that is what you should do, at least some of the time.
2 people like this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
25 May 08
I always keep my promises. It doesn't matter if the promise was to myself or someone else. I keep my word. Back in 1983 I vowed Never to go bowling again and I never have.and when I promise a friend, I keep my promises.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
26 May 08
I thought I Had to go and afterward my mom said I didn't have to go so I promised myself I never would bowl again.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
26 May 08
WOW..I guess bowling wasn't a great experience for you in the first place..LOL
1 person likes this
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
23 May 08
A sense of accomplishment means a lot for me, but I am easy on myself. Just remember, you need to have good MOJO to work and be creative.
On one day sometimes I can do more than in one week, but I need to have good energy and inspiration.
It is worth sometimes to wait for your MOJO....
HUGS
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
23 May 08
tell me more about time....
it runs so fast....
it runs so fast....1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 May 08
Well I promised myself to do a bit of writing in my book everyday/night..and have kept it...some nights (prefer writing at night...my MOJO is better then..LOL) I just re-read what I've already written and change things around, or just add a bit more to it. One thing I do know, I could never write for about eight or more hours...I've heard some authors do that...but then maybe they just don't have anything else to do...for instance I took the day off from any article writing but instead put together and submitted two email portfolios of photos to see about getting published...that was actually kind of out of the blue...wasn't originally planning that...then later did write in my novel for about three hours...sheesh that time went quick
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 May 08
I think a lot of people tend to make and keep promises for others rather than for oneself
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
23 May 08
I do not; never have; and never will make a promise to anyone at all in my life. I do this because promises can and usually get broken and I wish not to be the one to break a promise. So I keep clear from making promioses.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 May 08
Of course I think it depends on what KIND of promise..if it's a promise I make to someone else that I know I can do..fine...I don't make promises to others I know I can't keep. How about though promises to yourself..do you try and keep them?
1 person likes this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
23 May 08
"never will make a promise to anyone at all in my life"
This includes myself.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23465)
• United States
23 May 08
i try to do promises to myself but usually end up helping others first,for good or bad.in recent years though,i have more put myself first.i had some people asking more than i could give,and not understanding why not.
1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23465)
• United States
25 May 08
yup.already reached that point.
they were never happy with anything either.
i just won't be as quick to help them in the future,sadly.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 May 08
I think too, sometimes if you keep a lot of promises made to others, then after awhile they start taking advantage of you, since they can rely on you..no? That's what it sounds like here..after awhile one has to simply say..."enough"!
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 May 08
I find it really helps to actually write goals down...then it's kind of staring you in the face and reminding you to do them--I think I've accomplished so much more when I write my goals/promises down.
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
24 May 08
Sometimes i promise on something which i guess its very hard for me to keep ..that is when i go out i will not buy on impulse had to keep on mine the purpose of that outing...but its really hard when your destination is a shopping mall
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
26 May 08
Well it's been a really long time since I've been to a shopping mall..just haven't had the funds to shop...so no worries about buying things I really don't need...LOL
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
28 May 08
This is a great discussion. I am raising my hand ~ I most of the time let my promises to myself go because I'm doing things for other people. I think when you become a mom - things change--- I love being a mom.... but I will always put my daughter first before me.
I always try to fulfill the promises I make to others before my own promises to myself. I now try not to make too many promises to other people--- I say-- if we can :) I still try to do all the things that I say that too as well.... but I hate to break promises.
I have promised myself to take some time for myself this weekend-- I need a pampering weekend :) pedicure, haircut, maybe even a color--- these are the types of things I tell myself to do.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
29 May 08
Hey that sounds like a great promise for yourself this coming weekend..we sure do need "pampering" time for ourselves from time to time..sometimes the greatest promise to oneself and a "me" time is to do absolutely nothing at all...no commitments, no tasks, no chores..nada..right? And if one wants to be lazy as all get out, why not?
@blackbriar (9076)
• United States
28 May 08
I don't make promises that I know I can't keep or even if I think I may not be able to keep. Those include myself as well as others. If I think something is going to come up and won't be able to do something, I will tell the person I can't definately promise to do something for them pending I feel something might stop me from doing it.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
29 May 08
I used to keep all my promises to people all the time even for some favor that was hard to fulfill, but I've kind of stopped that now, since as you say some promises can be difficult to do...also, sometimes one feels that one is being taken advantage of if someone KEEPS asking for promises...I know I do after awhile
@whittby (3072)
• United States
24 May 08
I make a lot of promises to myself. I have to tell you, I break most of them. I end up doing the daily stuff, running errands for the family, spending that extra bit of money on one of the kids instead.
I did keep one promise last week. I took my sewing machine in for repair. I've been putting it off forever, forgetting to take it with me, not wanting to spend the money. I want to start making "art" quilts and the machine was being so cranky, I wasn't sewing. I look at the magazines and all those gorgeous quilts, and just want to do some of my own. I got a scolding at the store for not bringing it in sooner - don't you hate those righteous repair persons! so I am on my way. As I get older, and the kids are older, it's getting a little easier to do for me for a change.
I'm glad to hear you're doing the fiction again. It's nice to get that balance back into our lives - the creative side of us needs nurturing too huh.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 May 08
I'm glad to see you're on the road to fulfilling promises to yourself. I've always admired people who do, do sewing and crafts...I do make my own crafts as well, but have to admit never been into sewing that much, even though I do have a machine...I wind up hand sewing instead...LOL And yes, I've seen some truly beautiful quilts. It really is important to get that creative balance back in our lives and do something for ourselves.
@drakesuyat (1063)
• Philippines
24 May 08
it's funny how serious am i on my promise to someone else but not quite serious on mine. hihi.. maybe because im thinking that i might upset someone if i failed them. but im working on to keep my own promise. my friends always advice me that it's a good habit for yourself. hihi
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
26 May 08
I think it's just as important to keep ones' promises they make to themselves
@insaneduck9 (836)
• United States
24 May 08
I am really good at keeping secrets that my friends tell me. But if the secret is going to hurt someone else, i try to forget about it. Besides, sharing a secret that is suppose to be meant SECRET can create rumours and such.
I am ok at keeping secrets to myself but sometimes change my mind if there is something else that's more important going on.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 May 08
Mmmm...think you misinterpreted here...the question was, not about secrets but how one keeps promises to oneself or to others.
@xiaojing1226 (236)
• China
23 May 08
Sometimes i write down my promise on paper for reminding me of it.But most of time,i often give it up which need to modify.I know this is my disadvantage,but don't know how to do.what you do is better than me i think.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 May 08
Well writing promises down does help...then it is like it reminds you to do it...
1 person likes this
@Lafemcrafts (475)
• United States
23 May 08
Hi I am new here and this cought my eye.
If there is one thing I do is keep promises to myself. By nature I am a goal setter. I always set goal for myself I think of them more as a challange.
it seems to work for me :)
1 person likes this
@plumwish07 (4057)
• Indonesia
23 May 08
what we need in here to keep promise to ourselves is all about the self dicipline. sometimes and most of time i think, we like to underestimate our own self. when we made so promise to our selves and when the time came to those promise, we would simply has word, "ah thats can be done later" or "we still have time"
thats made we being unrealized that we already break the promise.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 May 08
I think a lot of it too, is how we feel our worth is to ourself, don't you? Maybe we don't keep promises to ourselves as maybe we don't feel worthy enough to keep them?
@biggerb (2024)
• India
23 May 08
Well I do keep track of your discussions.its been a while since I have been active too.I am truly happy for you for getting down to doing what gives you satisfaction.all the best to you.As for the promises I make for myself i still have not come to that stage I can give priority to myself the promises I make for others come first.Like you one day I hope i can fullfill the promises I make for myself.I agree with you sometimes we do have to get selfish for ourselves.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 May 08
Yes, doing my fiction writing does give me an enormous sense of achievement, also a good way to stretch one's imagination, don't you think? And yes, we all need to get a bit selfish with ourselves once in awhile and do things for ourselves that we enjoy doing.
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
23 May 08
Hello Pye, good to see you hun.
Promises, easy to make and easy to break, my Nan used to say to me. However, I have always made every effort possible to keep a promise either to myself or to someone else. I promised myself that I would be more positive and upbeat, and feel that I have kept that promise. I promised myself that I would take some *me* time and have kept that promise too.
I don't consider it selfish, on the contrary I feel that if you can't keep a promise to youself, then how can you keep a promise to anyone else.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 May 08
Excellent viewpoint there and how true about if you don't keep a promise to yourself, how can you expect to keep promises to others. The only time I don't keep promises either way is if I know I can't keep them
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
23 May 08
So strange how I identify with this so well. I have been a wife for 9 years and a Mum for 16 years, I have always always put everyone else first, never even thinking of a life for me, of doing things for me.
But the last few months I have felt that I have had all the children that I am going to have, I have given all of myself to others for so long that I no longer know who I am, I am just a wife and mum. I have decided that if I want to achieve anything for myself then it has to be now, I have to rediscover who I am, rediscover what I want to do, and I have promised myself that I will do this before it is to late.
So slowly I am pulling myself together and starting to examine myself and what I want, what I feel and who I am and I am going to carve something out for myself, so yes I have reached the point where the promises I make now I will fulfill, and it is not selfish, because I am the most unselfish person I know!!
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 May 08
I know what you mean...it's like you reach a point in your life where it's like a "wake up" call and you reflect, what have I done, what have I accomplished for myself...I guess that's kind of a reflection of getting older...you look back at the years and think, crap, where did those years go to? I've never married nor have children, well unless you count my kitties...but I too always had put others first and all my needs were neglected...so I reached a point NO MORE! I have to really keep those promises to myself and DO THEM.
@p_vadla (1685)
• India
23 May 08
I found that keeping promises to oneself is the difficult thing. We can keep somebody else's promises for the fear of ridicule, embarrassment or some other loss. But to keep for ourselves we are very slack.Had we kept our promises to our selves we would have formed some of the best habits relating to health, wealth and prosperity.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 May 08
I think actually one good way to keep promises to oneself is to write them out, sort of like a goal setting thing...that's what I do.
@mikeysmom (2088)
• United States
23 May 08
i am much better at keeping promises to others than i am to myself. if i let myself down it is no biggie and i only have myself to blame. but if i promise to do something for someone else i will feel guilty if i don't and i am also afraid they will get mad at me and i hate conflict so i just do it.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 May 08
No--I actually do feel let down if I don't keep a promise I've made to myself...that's why I really try to keep them
