What do you do when your son does this?

@neelygal (1022)
Bahamas
May 23, 2008 12:15pm CST
We had a grill at my friends house yesterday and all the kids were in the yard playing on the playground.All of a sudden my friends son comes screaming into the house with a huge bump on his forehead.My son threw a big rock at him and it conked him on the head.His bump was really big and looked very bad.My husband spanked our son but I felt so horrible becuse she was hosting a birthday party for me and my son was outside trying to kill her son.The little boy stll has a great big bump his morning and I just feel awful about the whole thing.What can we do to get over this so our friendship soesnt be strained?
2 people like this
12 responses
@golfproo (1841)
• Canada
23 May 08
Hi There, I can understand that you feel bad about this whole incident. I do not think you should feel it has to do with your freindship however. Children will often do things without thinking it through. Their brains are still developing and they can not see the consequences quite often. That is why they are children :) I am sure it was not a malicious act and it did not really have anything to do with yourself as you could not have forseen it. Just chalk it up to a life lesson for your son. cheers,
@mychattime (1013)
23 May 08
Hey kids are kids, how old is your son? My son once shut his friend in the toilet with the light off, she was screaming, I really told my son of and asked how he would like it, I spoke to her mum as she was at my house and we are still friends now! As long as your son understands that he did wrong and why and apologises, don't fall out with your friend becuase someone said to me the other day never fall out over your kids as they will make up long before you do and that is so true. Its natural to feel bad but talk to your friend about it. Good luck
1 person likes this
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
23 May 08
It depends on how the friend reacted...did she act like she was mad at you or was she more concerned at making sure you didn't feel too guilty? I think boys will be boys, my own son has done some pretty rotten things to people...i think the best thing to do is apologize...and maybe have your son pick out something for the boy and apologize if he's old enough to understand and you can afford to - doesn't have to be anything major, something from the $ store would be ok. Maybe too emphasize that you won't leave the boys unattended again until they understand not to throw stuff. My brother's hit me in the head with lots of things as a kid...no lasting effects and I still talk to him even!
1 person likes this
@cukal6 (146)
• United States
23 May 08
I think this happens more often than you realize. Kids will be kids and things will happen. Definitely make your son apologize to the other child, and his mother. Your friend should understand. My girlfriend and I have sons the same age and they are always getting into some kind of argument and yes, it has lead to hitting. If my son is the one to hit I just sit him down, explain to him why it was wrong, and then he apologizes. 2 minutes later it's like nothing ever happened.
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
23 May 08
how old were the kids? i would hope that your friend would realize that kids will be kids. sometimes kids do stupid stuff. now if your son did it on purpose and was old enough to know it could have really hurt him then she may hold it against you. all you can really do is appologize. depending on the age of your son maybe have him appologize too either in person or by writing a letter to both the mother and the child.
1 person likes this
@spalladino (17925)
• United States
23 May 08
Did you tell your son to conk your friend's son in the head with a rock? :-) Kids will do bad things and it's not your fault that your son threw a rock. Your husband disciplined him and that should be the end of it. Ask your friend how her son is feeling today, show her that you care, but don't beat yourself up over something your son did. If you do you'll be beating yourself up for years because boys can be soooooo bad at times.
1 person likes this
@gigglez79 (137)
• United States
23 May 08
How old is your son? Is he old enough to know right from wrong? I know it can be hard not to feel terrible, but if they are toddlers, then boys will be boys. You can only punish your son for so long. This shouldn't make a friendship feel strange, it's a learning experience that you all went through. Tell your son what he did was wrong and ask him how would he feel if it happened to him? Talk to him about apologizing and make sure he understands and then have him apologize to both your neighbor and her son. Good Luck
1 person likes this
@ynigz1 (472)
• China
24 May 08
Tell him don't do that thing again. Boys always like fight, need to take care of them.
• India
24 May 08
Dear lady i dont have kids but still i know certain things about children like rite frm my young age with cousins niece an nephew i have learnt a lot wven my own exprience tell me you try to give more love to your child please for god sake avoid showin him violence on tv as well family members sould bewith love in front of him rember i shal give you an example of plant it grows denpendin on th way u take care it rite? love affection patience is the answer to bring up your child...............
• Australia
24 May 08
Kids will be kids! It may have been an accident that the other boy got hit, or it may not. Whichever it was please do not let your children come between a good friendship. Sometimes that is very hard but if you and your friend are true friends this will not affect your relationship. You just have to put it down to experience and hope it doesn't happen again.
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
24 May 08
neelygal you should have a pleasant heart to heart talk with your friends and tell them how sorry you were to see that your son had hit their son with a rock. If there are any medical expenses offer to cover them then put'the whole thing out of your mind as I am sure they will do too.
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
23 May 08
Okay i'm finished laughing now. I know you don't think this is funny and really it isn't, but it is just so BOYISH! How old are these kids? And did he mean to hit the other kid or did he just throw the rock and happen to get lucky?LOL (okay, i'm not completely finished laughing)but i've had this happen with my kids and grandkids (more than once over the years). the last time something similier happened my son 11 was playing with my grandson 6, they were chasing each other when my grandson was about to get caught he got exicited and let the stick he was holding fly, caught my son right above his eye (it didn't leave a knot but did cut it and start it bleeding). At first my son insisted that he did it on purpose but after i got him cleaned up and talked to all the kids that were out there i found out that it wasn't on purpose (even my son admitted that he just let the stick go as he was running)so an apology and a lecture on safety was in order but he wasn't being malicious, it was just an accident.My daughter felt horrible but children are children, boys are boys and accidents are accidents! The child has been punished (spanked) and embaressed(by getting a spanking in front of his friends)and i'm sure your friend has enough sense to know that with children bumps and bruises are going to happen! Next time you might go over the rules before truning him loose. This i promise you, it will happen again or at least something similiar so cut yourself a break. Have the child tell your friend and her son that he is sorry and maybe get the child a get well card and let it go.