I want to tell my friend I LOVE YOU....But I am scared

United States
May 23, 2008 1:04pm CST
Hi Mylot, I been trying to hold back the feelings that I have for a friend but, I am having so much trouble doing so. I am so in love with my friend that when we talk on the phone I am so happy just to hear his woice. Then when we hang up I feel so many butterflies it's like crazy. I mean this man this wonderful man is someone who has been there for me so many times because he wanted to be there. This man has been such a wonderful friend, a listener, words can only describe the way I feel. I have fallen so hard for this guy that I think about him daily. Is it better to say nothing to keep the friendship or tell him how I feel and risk him having a reaction that would cause there to be distance between the friendship? What should I do? I am scared out of my mind.
2 people like this
12 responses
• United States
23 May 08
I've been in this position before...and I told him. We've been together for 17 months now and I can honestly say I'm in love. There is nothing like making the statement come true " I'm in love with my best friend". You guys already have the compatibility. Just go for it you may never know if you don't bring it up. Good Luck.
• United States
23 May 08
Thanks....I just so nervous around him that I lose thought..I've been playing in it my head how, and when I would just sit him down and tell him how I feel...but I quess I won't know until I actually put it into action.
• Philippines
27 May 08
Here's my advice: Do not tell him unless you have proof that he can and will have the same exact feelings for you. A broken heart is much easier than a broken friendship(^^,)
• United States
27 May 08
True..That why is taking me such a long time for me to tell him how I feel. I would rather have him as a good friend then if his feelings were the opposite of mine. That is why I am still pondering..I think I would be less nervous if he came to me instead of me going to him....So I am probably going to continue to think on it for a minute and decide what I should do soon...
• Philippines
27 May 08
Always think before you act girl! It may take a long time but it also helps you make less mistakes(^^,)
@nanajanet (4437)
• United States
23 May 08
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Why are you waiting? If you can't SAY it, write it. Put into a note just what you have said here. Here's one idea... Dear.... One of the great joys of my life is having you in it. I can't think of a day that you have been in my life that has been any better, since you have been there. God has certainly blessed me with you, and for that I am thankful. I have wanted to tell you this, but have a hard time finding the right words and chicken out, so here goes.... "I love you," it's that simple. I don't know if you love me in the same manner, that is why I feared saying something, because if you don't, I don't want to lose you as a friend because you might feel odd about it. There, I have said it. Love, (you)
• United States
23 May 08
I thought that as well to write it out..But even though I have yet to sum up the nerve to tell him I would prefer to have him sitting in front of me, holding his had and saying.."I Love You"..Just saying that my heart is beating 100 miles a minute.....Maybe writing it would seem much easier on the second hand...Oh and actually I did write it out but I wrote it out in my own personal journel titled to him.....
@nanajanet (4437)
• United States
27 May 08
My dance partner and I were good friends and he once told me that he loved me. I hugged him and said, "I am so lucky to have you in my life, and I love you as a wonderful friend. I wish I loved you romantically as you are so great a person. I hope we will remain great friends and you never know, it just may happen." (maybe not those exact words, it was close to 40 years ago). We remained dance partners for a few more years and friends, even longer. We both eventually found someone else. I felt bad that I did not feel the same, as he was such a nice guy and his mom was great, too.
• Philippines
27 May 08
Gather enough courage, then tell him. Your feelings will go no other way. He will learn about your feelings sooner or later, so it better come from you as early as now. Don't be scared; this is the only direction your feelings will take. So embrace it and stand up for it.. You'll never know until it's right in front of you. Good luck okay?
• United States
27 May 08
That is what I know I will have to do. Because I have been sitting on the feeling for a while and in a way I know he knows that I have feelings for him. However, I don't he realizes how deep the feelings have grown.
@nanajanet (4437)
• United States
24 May 08
I agree that it's best to say it face to face. It's also harder. You have to do what works for you. But remember, if you wait and say nothing, you may never know how he feels as he may be feeling exactly the same way you are feeling and just as scared.
• United States
27 May 08
I know doing a face to face just makes me even more nervous. I am like turning red thinking about what I am going to say..But u know what I have to say sometime.
@lvaldean (1613)
• United States
24 May 08
Well invite him for dinner and just say it. Casually but heartfelt. Tell him how you feel. That you don't want it to stand in the way of your friendship but that you find that your feeling for him have expanded to fill your heart. That you love him. That he has been your best friend and there for you. Tell him all that is in your heart. Tell him everything that you put in your opening discussion. I did and my friend did 10 years ago. We will be celebrating our ninth wedding aniversay in July this year. Isn't always easy but it is always worth it.
• United States
27 May 08
Thanks for the advice. I am thinking about inviting him over for dinner..However, timing would be the key for me. You are totally right I may never know if I do just keep the feeling to myself...Congrats on the 9th wedding aniversary
@Hatley (157941)
• Garden Grove, California
24 May 08
I say go for it what have you to lose, friendship and love exist very welltogether and he probably feels the same way so tell him and see how happy the two of you can be. it should be a compliment to be loved you know, a and maybe he is just thinking the same things you are. good luck and god bless.
• United States
27 May 08
You r totally right I have nothing to lose. It will all in how I say it...If anything it should bring us closer. It just make me nervous because in a way I would love for him to tell me how he feels first. But at the same time how do I know he is just as nervous to say it just as I.
@fenyxx (11)
• United States
23 May 08
I'm with DiamondPeach, been in this position and it is great to say "I'm in love with my best friend". I remember telling him that I loved him but I kept it in a friendly way. I also didn't want to ruin the friendship. It was more important to me that he was in my life than how I felt. He was the one who came out with it (so to speak). We had a long talk. He said that even if I didn't feel the same it was all right, he hoped that I wouldn't let it stand in the way of our friendship and that there was no pressure involved in his stating his feelings. I remember sitting there listening to him and wondering if I wanted to get up to dance or cry. I was bursting with happiness. We've been together for 3 yrs now. I worked for us. I wish you all the best.
• United States
23 May 08
Congrats...How did he say how he felt about you? Was it after you had told him how u felt first? The most important thing to me as well is that we are friends regardless of how I fell.. I hope that one day I willbe able to tell him how I feel.
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
23 May 08
Well only you can pinpoint at what time in your friendship would be a good time to let him know that you have fallen in love with him. BUT, You certainly want to make sure that you will not ruin the friendship between the two of you. I have seen great friends turn into awesome relationships, but then again, I have seen great friendships end up in disaster when they started dating. I wouldn't want your friendship to end up any less than what it is b/c of you stating how you feel towards him. Does he give you any clues that say, that maybe he is feeling more than just like friends to you? It is hard to sate what I think you should do without knowing you or him in person, you know. For the most part, I believe that you should tell him, but then again, without knowing what type of person he is, I don't know how he would handle it, if he didn't have those same feelings back towards you. If he didn't have feelings back for you, he may try to avoid you in order not to have to face you, in fear of not wanting to hurt your feelings. Does that make sense to you? lol I know I am rambling here. =) Or, I guess you could just continue to let your friendship grow and see where it goes without you saying anything. Wouldn't that feel wonderful if he made the first move with you and told you how he felt, or kissed you to let you know how much he is into you...more than just a friend. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck. Please keep us informed. Take care, Hugs to ya, Nelly
• United States
23 May 08
I totally understand what u r say.Those thoughts are on my mind as well. That's is y I have yet to say anything. I would rather him be a friend then to have him back away if I told him I truly feel. It would feel more then wonderful if he made the firstr move with me and told me how he felt...I've imagined that to. I have no idea what I am going to do...Thanks great advice....
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12852)
• Australia
24 May 08
well, it happened to me as well in the past but it is the other way round... i try to be there for somebody and i only treat him as my best friend... i never know that he has a feeling for me... he never says anything and we are really really close... i treat him like my brother as well... so when i get into a relationship with a guy and i tell him about this, he is really heart-broken and only then he confessed his feelings to me... i am torn... and he says that i screwed his life... well, i make a decision and stick with my boyfriend... i'm glad because he becomes my hubby now and i love him very much... i suggest that you confessed your feeling to him before it is too late and you regret it... good luck and have a nice day...
• Philippines
24 May 08
I've been there before and that's quite hard. But I learned that we should tell our feelings to someone as soon as possible because life is short and we'll never know when our time is over. Who know, he might feel the same way towards you.*winks*
@vera0571 (167)
• China
24 May 08
go for the love.i don't think it will be a problem between friendship.if you scared and not open your mouth to express your feeling,don't you think you will regret after years? come on,my friend.