Do other MyLot members make mean remarks about you for no reason?

United States
May 24, 2008 9:25am CST
Do you always respond to mean remarks from other MyLot members? Have you ever had another MyLot member say something mean about you? Maybe they showed up at one of your discussions and just dropped a rude bomb-shell on you, out of the blue. And, you wondered, what the heck was that all about? Did you strike back and defend yourself? Did you let the remark go? Recently, that happened to me. Some MyLot members get really upset when they think I'm just posting and running off. They think just because I post quantity, that I'm not taking time to update. Not true! Of course, the officials at MyLot have never complained. And, to those people, who say these things, I have one thing to say. Don't judge me until you've lived my life. I'm dealing with my own stuff, too. They don't understand that I have a life and am a busy full time mom and I don't have time to hang out on MyLot, all day. My kid needs me too. She is my number one priority. And, I won't apologize for that. I am not retired with kids in college. I don't have a stay at home spouse who takes care of my kid. I'm not a teen, so my mom doesn't take care of me. It's all on my shoulders. My situation is not much different than many other moms who hold down a full time job and still care for everyone in the household, too. Except my paying and non-paying job is based at home. If I don't work, then I don't get paid. I try to update discussions as often as I can. Most times, that's usually around midnight, just before I fall over into bed, after a twenty hour work/Mom day. I can cover 20 or 30 discussion updates in a hour. But honestly, not every response is worthy of counter response, especially when people are being mean or spiteful. And, honestly, you don't get paid for updating your discussions constantly. I've been here a year. And, I've tried it out. And, that's what I've found. You get more pay for posting insightful and intelligent (or funny and thought provoking) discussions that other people respond to. But, you have to post a lot of them. Some people don't like the idea that they're not making a dollar per discussion. Well, noone pays a dollar per discussion. And, if they do, send me the link. The reason that I update discussions is not to increase pay. I update my discussions simply because I love talking with friends online. Or, at least people that act friendly. And, I want them to drop by again. And, the mean remarks? Well, I just skip right over those comments and move on to people who really deserve an answer. Those mean responses are certainly not worthy of my time. What did I ever do to justify anyone's spite? I wish those people would just get a life. How do you handle rude or mean remarks that other people make about you while on MyLot? Do you face them head on? Do you rant? What do you do?
5 people like this
12 responses
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
24 May 08
whew!! it took me awhile before I was able to type this..I have to delete many times because I dont want to be involved in arguements like these. I'm new and want to have many friends here so I have to make this right.. BeautyQ in my OWN opinion is right because yesterday there were also some rude remarks in my discussions which made me sad and not in a good mood anymore to start another discussion. I was only asking for advice and opinions but for some people to make those bad remarks, I dont deserve it..But then, I thought, maybe those people were also not in a good mood or not feeling well or their hormones were spiking up or they have personal issues.So, i gave them some slack. As I wish, next time people will give me some too. Everlasting in my OWN opinion is right too. Everybody is entitled to each opinion.and this is a give and take site..BeautyQ posts a lot of discussion because I read in one of her posts that she first put it in a notepad and copy paste it here, that's why she's fast..But then, Some people wishes to read your comments too. And if this is a site which cares for others even if they are strangers, then why the rude remarks..Now, please dont get me wrong here..because I understand both sides..hope I won't get a rude remark for braving to post this..lol..thanks
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (90224)
• Marion, Kansas
24 May 08
People should look after their own posts and not be jealous of yours, BQ. I have another friend who posts a lot, and gets a lot of grief for it. You are not going to get rich, or make a large sum of money. When I first joined myLot, I was using it for therapy, too. Ignore the sour apples. I hope you and others can come to an understanding about how often you do or do not answer. We do like you to answer our posts as well. None of it is worth stressing about though.
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
25 May 08
Just do what you think is right because like what you said, we can't please everybody..Besides am not here to please anybody..I found out too that Mylot can be a great way to release stress..Thanks for the BR..
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
24 May 08
Yes, I has one user accuse me of bad mouthing my mil... Well the truth was, I was stating all the bad things that she has done to me.. This person made it seem like, I was saying mean things... I was angry about this. From now on since then. I just ignore any weird comments... Or I will in a nice way, tell them how I feel. But I most certainly don't stoop to their immature level..
2 people like this
• United States
24 May 08
Bravo! Those people don't deserve your time or effort. In my situation, I had gone out of my way to help this other member in the past. And, I guess I didn't give them all the money making advice they desired, so they turned and bit me on the hand. My lot is a place to share feelings and life experiences. Just so happens, your life involves an irritating person. As does mine! It's good that you have a safe place to share your feelings. I know what it's like to have hurt feelings and not have anyone to talk with. MyLot is a life line for many people who don't live close to friends.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (90224)
• Marion, Kansas
24 May 08
Cream rises to the top, friend. You have to have some where to talk.
@Hatley (157832)
• Garden Grove, California
24 May 08
yes I have had some really mean responses from mylotters in re to two of my discussions and I did not warrant them at all. I asked to be respected for my own viewpoint as I had respected all others for their viewpoints and instead I had nasty comments. I deleted those as I felt they deserved' deleting,just the ones who had actually flamed. the others I just ignored Most mylotters are wonderful people and most are 'my friends. I love mylotting and get so much more from it'than just money.
• United States
24 May 08
Yes, everyone's opinion should matter on MyLot. Not just the one opinion of one person. Thanks for the suggestion on getting the offending discussion deleted. I had forgotten that we could do that. What a proactive approach for handling trouble makers. And so final. I'll go do that now!
@GardenGerty (90224)
• Marion, Kansas
24 May 08
There seem to be people on here who have time for that junk, not me. I only recall one mean comment to me, once, and it was a comment on a response I made, and basically I was giving an opinion and it was not the "yes man" comment that was desired, so I got griped out and told to stay out of that discussion. If I were to join your discussiona and saw someone being mean and rude to you, I would probably mark it as abuse, or at least negative. There is no need for meanness and rudeness.I will also say to you, however, that this site is not full of stay at home, retired, babied, or taken care of persons. There may be a few people on here like that, but the people on my friend list are often taking care of others, or working at a stressful job, or parenting, just like you, or chronically ill and unable to work. They mostly like friendly people as well, and do not want the meanness either. Isn't it awful when one jerk can go through and offend people just for fun? You are correct, it is not worth your time. I do notice you post quantity, that is your business. It is all original, and if someone does not want to answer, then they should just go on by. Keep on posting.
• United States
24 May 08
Thanks for saying so. Yes, my material is all original. I hate plageurism. I've been writing for twenty plus years. MyLot is just another outlet where I practice my craft. As far as the comment that I made. I was not referring to the entire MyLot commmunity. I was simply talking to the one person that went out of their way to make MyLot not fun. Those people are always going to be around. It just gets hard taking their verbal abuse when they follow you from one discussion to the next harrassing you.
@AmbiePam (45818)
• United States
24 May 08
Yes, I've experienced that. It took me off guard. I had shared something tragic happening to a loved one, and someone said something really rude and thoughtless. I had known this person on mylot for a good long while, so that made it even more surprising. It is almost like a slap in the face. I like getting a lot of discussions. It means you give me a lot of chances to be able to respond. I don't have anything to add to all of your discussions, but I like getting the choices.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 May 08
And, I do appreciate it when you drop by. You always have such intelligent and thoughtful responses. Things have been so hectic lately with the job stress and not sleeping, so I am surprised that I'm still standing. But, I persevere. Thanks for dropping by and be well!
@Insung001 (740)
• Philippines
24 May 08
I'm still a newbie here, and I haven't had such comment yet, Thank goodness. But I would say you can't please everybody, So it is likely to be expected that sooner or later there will be those kind of comments. I always make it a point to see criticism as constructive ones, and would use that to my advantage to improve myself if there's a need to. It's everybody's right to his/her opinion. But if made in a rude way, well, I can be rude too, but depending on my mood, most probably I'll just ignore it. I hope I'll be able to do just that when the time comes. I still believe there are more righteous and professional people here than the rude ones so having a few encounters of that kind could be tolerable at a certain extent but when it really gets ugly, it's not so bad to strike back. That's what I believe.
• United States
24 May 08
I'm in agreement with you. There are many wonderful people here on MyLot. My best friend is here. I love her to pieces. I know many wonderful people from India and China and think of them daily as I post. I wonder what their life is like and wonder how they are doing. I have been to other sites like Ryze and MySpace and those will never compare to MyLot. This all started because some people got offended, because I was posting so many discussions. They wondered how I could possibly have time to update all those discussions. And, then they followed me around to each of my discussions and questioned my motives. I have never felt so personally attacked in my life. I try to update all my discussions, the best I can. But circumstances dictate that's not always possible. I had hoped to use this weekend to update my discussions, but apparently I did not act fast enough! I was getting to it, but life just got in the way. It happens. For the most part MyLot is 99% good fun. But, there will always be one person that makes a mean or hurtful remark. Maybe they say it out of jealousy. Maybe they make the remark out of misunderstanding. After all, who can really know what private pain a person is experiencing when they post a discussion? Or, the reasons behind their responses. Your comments are well taken. And, I do appreciate feedback, so thanks for taking the time to post such a lengthy and well thought out response. I was just wondering if anyone else had encountered rude or negative people and how they handled it. I'm not good at conflict. Or, was it something that was just happening to me. That's why I posted this discussion. I hope that you never have to meet those people! Every voice counts here at MyLot, so please do not become discouraged over my misfortunate run-in with a negative person.
1 person likes this
@98765m (1021)
• India
26 May 08
I have so far received any rude comment from fellow mylotters. Its pretty disgusting that some one says some thing that comes to their mind with out even thinking the situation the person would have been. If any one thinks bad about others,first think about the situation from their point of view.It would avoid unnecessary misunderstanding. Yea,I agree that one can't give counter responses for each response received.Some times,you might have said every thing in the question of the discussion itself and you won't have anything more to add as a comment.Also,saying only "Thank you" etc is against mylot guidelines. One can post 3-4 comments in a discussion.But,one can't comment every ones response if the number of responses is 30+.Of course,I would indeed try to comment to every response I receive.But,some times,you don't have anything more to say if its the 6th or 7th comment you are posting in a discussion. And last but not the least,there is also the time factor.If you are free you can comment each response you receive.But,in case if you are working,is it possible?In case if you are a wife,you have to look after the house hold works and children as well. I hope every one who misunderstood you,understands you at least after reading this discussion. Cheers! Have a great day Happy mylotting and happy earnings.
@alienstar (5137)
• India
25 May 08
There were many mistakes we might ahve done in the begining stage, in teh learning process and when teh time goes on we also tend to learn a lot isnt it and the respect and the love which we have for mylot never fades as thsi was teh very first site for me to give online moneya nd i am proud to be amemebr of thisboig famile of thsi legit site
• China
25 May 08
just ignore it,no need to be uoset by these damn remaks.
@lingli_78 (12852)
• Australia
25 May 08
well, i usually just ignore rude remarks... i just can't be bothered to entertain rude people and waste my time on them... they are just not worthy of my time... i better spend my time on other people who are more friendly and worth my time... those rude people here just need to get a life and stop disturbing other nice people... take care and have a nice day...
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
25 May 08
I wonder if it was the same person that said a rude remark to a discussion I started. Of course I did get a little upset about it. It almost made me want to quit in here for a while then I got to thinking that one person is not worth quiting over. I have been in here to long and I have made to many friends to let one person that made a rude reply to cause me to want to quit.
• United States
25 May 08
Not to long after I started posting here on Mylot, some members tried to say that I was actually one of my referrals and that I was just posting under both accounts to cheat the system. They were saying all of those things because I did not agree with their parenting styles and because I was presenting them with information they did not like. They also didn't like that they couldn't find the source information that I was giving them and that I couldn't find any information proving what they said was true. So when my roommate and my refferal came into the discussion and started disagreeing with them as well, they started throwing fits and threatening to report me to Mylot because I was obviously the same person under two accounts. I'm not sure if they ever reported me but they downrated all of my discussions for awhile and even made a few posts referring to me. I haven't seen either of those two around in months and I must say I'm really glad. They obviously had way too much time on their hands.