What do you make of a person that goes through your things without asking you?

@cream97 (29169)
United States
May 25, 2008 12:05pm CST
I have this problem. And it makes me mad. My mother-in-law is very guilty of this.. I have caught her looking through some of the things in a box that I bought. I have even has a lady who is my father-in-law's cousin come over and bring me somethings. And my mil did not even give me the things, she instead took it into her room and went through it... After she was finished, she then gave them to me..
7 people like this
24 responses
@manya_pearl (1905)
• Singapore
26 May 08
Ugh, i dont like that. I hate people looking trough my things in my room (or even in my bag) when im not around. I dont like it also (even my sister and my boyfriend). I dont want people looking through the things that is not theirs. Its nasty and sucks! Hmmm... It makes me feel that they wanna steal something inside my bag, anyway, it still my privacy right? My bag and my room... they are the same. Looking trough other bag, just like looking through its small closet! Some people do it, and i wonder how could they always have interest to look at other's things? Dont they have anything to look for from their own?
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
26 May 08
I have never had that problem,but i think i would tell her in a nice way,if you do not want to get to rough,just say something like" well now i don't see your name on that ,and smile and say give it here...She seems awful nosy really but i am sure maybe you don't really want to get in a tiff with her but you can somehow in a nice way let her know "hey thats mine....also when she hands it to you ,you could say well thank you for giving me MY things back,since they are mine you know and just make a joke out of it...If that don't help and she does not get the hint ,you might just have to tell her...in not a joking way...
@mimm45 (168)
• Australia
26 May 08
My personal things are for me only. You can only look at them if I let you. That's how I see it. My mum instilled this in me. She said that you should respect other people's personal things specially mail. I really hate it when people go through my stuff or open my mail. There was one time at work when a colleague opened mail that was addressed to me. I was so furious! He said he knew who the sender was and had an idea what was inside the letter so he opened it himself. As it happened there was a cheque there for the company. Even then I still gave him hell..... I still don't open my husband's mail unless he tells me so.
2 people like this
@Deea48 (1168)
• United States
26 May 08
Wow, myself I would hate that, and do hate it when people rifle thru my things as if they belong to them. My daughter was aweful about it when she was in her teens. I fixed her though and rifled thru her things. Boy was she angry, I then told her everytime she thinks she can just go thru my things, she needs to rethink that if she wants me to stay out of her stuff. That was the end of it. But with it being your MIL, that is tuff. Still I would have to some how convey to her, that she has no right to handle or mess with your things. I am sorry this is happening I hope you find a solution soon.
@myliezl0903 (2731)
• Philippines
26 May 08
well, i guess if that thing will happen to me.,if someone will look into my personal things without asking permission i will really get mad at him/her and i will tell them frankly that its not a good thing to do...i'll confront them right there and then.,and tell them that i don't like it.,thats me!LOL!
@Hatley (164670)
• Garden Grove, California
26 May 08
cream that is really so presumptive of her, she has no right to do that to you. I doubt if your own mom would do that without at least asking you. Who does 'she think she is? Is she by any chance having some kind of mental problems? I would talk to my hubby about that if I were you.She is definitely stepping over the boundaries of her relationship with you.
• United States
26 May 08
I have never had this happen to me but if it did I would be mad.
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
26 May 08
Okay, now we can finally agree on something!
@KrauseHome (35026)
• United States
26 May 08
Does your MIL live with you, or you with her? Is that why she is always snooping thru your stuff? I would nicely ask her if it was me to please not go thru anything of mine without asking first, and then if that did not work complain to your husband and try to get him to do something, but since you say he does not want too, you might consider moving some of this stuff to places where they are locked up to where she cannot get to them. This does not sound like a Fun situation, and I would have a hard time dealing with it if it were me as well.
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
26 May 08
No, it is not fun to go through this. Since my mil has done these things, I have never trusted her... To be honest with you, I never really trusted her before. I have always had a bad feeling about her. When she did this, it just makes what I feel about her proven to be right.
@pree_6 (435)
• India
25 May 08
oh strange!..that sounds like a nasty habit...i think this is the problem of the old people..i knew few people who are very curious to look into others things..sometimes these old people feel they are ignored and nothing is been shared with them and so look into each and every thing we do...only remedy is people should change and understand others feelings...
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
25 May 08
Yes, looking through my things, is no way to find out what is going on with me.. The only way that she is going to know is by actually talking to me... My mil is a very dirty woman!!!!!
@dragon54u (31605)
• United States
25 May 08
From what you've told us, it sounds as if your mil has some very serious mental illness. She sounds, too, as if she's somewhat dangerous. Talk with your husband about this if you can!
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
25 May 08
I tried to, but he will not do anything.. Everyone just say to ignore her, but that is hard to do, being that I have to deal with her at some point.. I am tired of her!!!!!!!!!!!1
@metschica25 (5407)
• United States
28 May 08
Sounds like you need a long break away from her .Seems no matter what anyone says or does she wont give you any peace. Maybe she is noisy. It wont make me nuts . No one ever really will go through my things . when little my brother would go thru my room.
@jessieBee (1046)
• Trinidad And Tobago
26 May 08
I think she is very nosy. I don't like it when people do those things to me, you say she does it a lot. you should talk to her about it, time for her to stop that nonsense.
• United States
26 May 08
oh..that irritates the living out of me.i don't mind if they ask,but to just randomly do it...even worse if they move the thing on me,so when i go to look for it,it's gone.
• Philippines
26 May 08
wooh! that sounds really annoying. i too hate it when someone is going through my stuffs. i get very very mad at them. that's why my mom and my boyfriend never does that. but my sister? oh god.she used to wear my clothes without telling me. and i scolded her for that. maybe there's something she's up to. she might be curious about your things. or maybe she's looking for something. why not ask what she wants from your things? are you sure she's not sick? that sounds to be a normal habit.
@bestie (1458)
• Philippines
26 May 08
I really hate it,I get very mad when others go through my things without my permission.
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
26 May 08
Hi cream97! I really hate it when people go through my things. I wouldn't think I can stand it when they first have to take a look before they give it to me. Oh, I am sure I will be pi$$ed off big time! I don't do this kind of thing to anyone not even to my husband because I do respect other people's things and privacy so I expect to be accorded with the same respect and courtesy. I really do think your mil is really a pain in the neck with all the things that she has been doing to you! I have always try to tell you to at least to be cool and kind to her since she is old and she is the mother of your hubby but my friend, to be honest with you..I am really at a loss for words with your mother's kind of attitude. Take Care and God Bless! Happy Mylotting!
@lingli_78 (12846)
• Australia
26 May 08
i will be furious!!! sounds to me that your mother-in-law has no respect at all to other people's private property... i hate people who didn't respect other people... if she does not respect you, then you also don't have to respect her... i will confront her face to face and speak up my mind... i will talk to my hubby as well... and if he doesn't do anything to change his mother's attitudes or kick his mother out from the house, then i am the one who will be leaving... i can't stand people pricking into my privacy... take care and have a nice day...
@jer31558 (3683)
• United States
26 May 08
I cannot understand how some can be that way with other people. I would think that they would treat others the way that they wanted to be treated.
@cripfemme (7718)
• United States
26 May 08
If I were you I would have a serious conversation with my mother-in-law about appropriate and inappropriate behavior which she should have learned by now (but don't say that to her). I would be very angry at a person who did this to me, especially if they didn't have a reason. However, for all you know she might have one (since I don't think you've talked about this before with her based on what you posted).
@k101707 (102)
• United States
26 May 08
This problem gets on my nerves. I don't like people going threw my stuff without asking and I have respect for peoples things so I don't go looking in other peoples things without asking. I absolutly hate it when anyone does this to me...