Is it Easy for you to forgive to people who hurts you?

Philippines
May 25, 2008 7:44pm CST
Well, there are people who can forgive right away as soon as they can let out their emotion and say the words they wanted to say to the people conerned and when things are already cleared up and the other party apologized things are fine. But there are also people who are having hard time forgiving those who hurt them even if the other party already asked forgiveness. They are still angry and mostly they would say... the can forgive but they can't forget. Oh!!! for me, that statement means it is really hard for them to forgive. Well, healing hurts is not easy and maybe but forgiving? I think they both go together. How about you? can you forgive easily? Well, how did you handle your hurts. It takes time for me. I want to know how other people deal with it.
2 people like this
15 responses
@goldeneagle (6775)
• United States
26 May 08
I may be able to forgive...but I don't ever forget.
2 people like this
• Philippines
26 May 08
yes, that's what others said. You are right!! it is not easy to forget. But as the time goes by you will be able to.. if you will try it. Thanks for replying
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
26 May 08
Hi celestial, Forgiveness is often very difficult, but also very necessary. I feel that it depends on how great the hurt is. If someone says something that hurts my feelings, their just saying sorry is enough for me to forgive them immediately. However, if someone spreads vicious and completely untrue rumours about me, and refuses to say that thy are sorry, it is more difficult. Becoming angry, and holding a grudge can be very bad for your health, that's why forgiveness is so necessary. Many people think they are hurting the person that they are angry at, but such is not the case. We hurt only ourselves when we refuse to forgive. Blessings.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 May 08
"Resentment is like taking poisen (sp?) and waiting for the other person to die." I guess that would be true for some, but I'm really competative with people that have hurt me, so I always try to make sure that I have the better life because hey, I deserve it.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 May 08
yes I agree that forgiveness is very difficult especially if you are deeply hurt. It takes time to heal and to consider that. But we would think of how God forgive us too? we might have courage to forgive others though it takes time to have the feeling of a forgiving heart. Thanks for your reply Posel.
• India
26 May 08
Fore me , its really not easy to forgive any one , who has hurt me at least once in my life . I always believe in remember those and take revenge, if I will get chance . But to forgive without asking is worthless ... Thanks !!!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 May 08
Oh!!Oh!! Really? they said it is unhealthful.. always remembering the things they did and harbor a grudge? well, I can't blame you because it is always a human tendecy to get even when we are hurt. Well, I hope you can overcome it sometime. Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts.
@leafgxu (473)
• China
26 May 08
I will not forgive someone if he or she deliberately hurt me. Because I afraid they would hurt me next time.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 May 08
hahaha!! you are funny!! yes,it's our nature to feel that way. But it is always good to try our best to overcome our feelings in order to forgive others.It always pays to give another chance. It might change their attitude towards you and not hurt you again. If they do the second time, well it's ow your option. But remember God had forgiven his enemies and we should try to. Thanks for your ideas.
@mininair (68)
• India
26 May 08
Well, the way I handle hurts are of two ways. First if I get hurt I will have to talk to them on the spot and if the fault is their, then I will have to scold them and clear out my mind.Then after than I am clear and I can forgive and forget them and will have a normal behavior. Secondly, if I couldn't talk or scold the other person, grudge remains in me and could not forgive till the time I talk or scold them. But which ever is the way, main thing is to talk to that person and take out my grudge in words. So, I think most of the people are of that kind. It may take time but all depends upon the situations.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 May 08
Oh yes!! that workd too. you are right!! there are people who can go straight to the person who hurts them and talk about it right away. confront him about the things he has done that hurts. But then, not all are like that. so, then, htey have another way too. Well, this is also good and it works with others too. Thanks for your idea.
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
26 May 08
For me forgiving and forgetting are different. I can forgive. I rarely forget. So if the person who offended me wants a genuine reconciliation he/she needs to take concrete steps to correct the wrong that he/she did. Otherwise the issue will keep on popping up in the future.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 May 08
Oh!! yeah, it is normal to feel that way especially if you are deeply hurt. You really want that person to realize and do something in order to be forgiven. At least he would learn a lesson. thanks for replying.
@lingli_78 (12846)
• Australia
26 May 08
it really depends on the situations... i usually am a forgiving person as i don't want to make enemy and just want to live in harmony with one another in this world... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 May 08
yeah!! that's a good idea. All of us don't want to have an enemy. But when we are hurt, it takes time to heal and to forgive. We need courage and strength from God he would give us a forgiving heart. Thanks for your reply.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
26 May 08
no it is not easy for me. there are also many levels of hurt. still i think i just can't forgive so easily. there is someone who cheated me big time. i really was fond of that so called friend. now taht ha shurt me bigtime.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 May 08
Oh Yes!! I understand that too. I know it's hard to feel better easily when you ae deeply hurt. Of course we can forgive but it takes time, depending upon our level of hurts and the time span it gives us to heal. thanks for sharing.
@janaraji (154)
• India
26 May 08
every one is not jesus!!! but following jesus is the best way to avoid unhappiness!. forgiveness based on the attitude of the indviduals. in most of the time when i was hurt by words, i will pray the jesus to give that man good thought and i will not speak to him. automatically the person who hurt me realises his mistakes and tell sorry to me. words are sharper than the knife. once the wrong words hurted the person - he never forgot it eventhough you forgive him. when ever he saw you the first thing in his subconcious mindes hints him about the hurt words you used to him oh god give peace to every one jana
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 May 08
Exactly right!!!It is helpful to heal our hurts when we take it to Jesus. He will help us to mend our hurts and will give us a forgiving heart. You have good points in this idea. thanks for replying
@miachen (68)
• China
26 May 08
To be frank with you, I think forgive people who hurted me is easy when I know their reasons. Of cause most of essential reasons are based on human nature of those negative sides. And everyone of us are borned with those negative or selfish nature more or less. So forgiving people like ourselves is easier.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 May 08
Well, you have a point. It might be easy to forgive if you know the reason and you understand it. thanks for the reply.
• United States
26 May 08
If someone really asks for forgiveness and means it I will forgive them, but otherwise no. I don't go for those fake apologies either, like "I'm sorry, but" or "I'm sorry if" is NOT an apologly, it's an excuse, a way to sound apologitic without actually taking any responsibilty.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 May 08
yeah!! right!! you have good points in here. yes, there are people who have fake apologies. Not heartily, maybe just did it because they were force by circumstances but deep inside they are not sorry at all. I hate to think about these kind of people. But then, that's the way they are. Thanks for the idea.
@ryshawneo (405)
• Philippines
3 Jun 08
it's really hard to forget, so it's too hard also to forgive :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Jun 08
its always a good thing if you forgive others. If your angry its not easy to forgive it takes time to heal dont rush, because it will not be pure if you push yourself to forgive even if your not ready..
@liuqian (476)
• China
26 May 08
Hello,celestial52506.I have a bad memory,so i often forget the things happened last night.Like what i ate,what i told my friends,what i did ect.SO if i did something and hurt someone,maybe i don't know it and still speak as usual.Fortunately,my friends all knows my character and know i m not mean to do it.So they get used to it and still like me.If someone said something wrong to me and hurt me,i will feel unhappy for one or two days,then i ll forget this things.Like a child?once i quarreled with my friend,the next day i get up and see her,I pretend ignore her and thinking what had happened ,why i have to angry with her.LOL.We should remember things happy and write it on stones ,forget things unhappy and write it on beach sands,just let the sea tide to wash it.
• Philippines
27 May 08
Oh!! Great!!! I like your positive attitude. That's nice. You're right!! to be like a child harboring no grudges is what it says in the Bible. God want's us to be like a child. Thanks for sharing.
• Malaysia
26 May 08
Yeah, just forgive them. They realized they had made mistake. So, why must you take time to forgive them? Control our temper is the best way to protect any relationship from being broken up. By the way, it doesn't mean that we allowed that person to make any mistake in future. Warn him/her, to be more careful..
• Philippines
27 May 08
You have good points in here.. Thansk for your reply...